wow...and to think I was going to try to make it a year before updating
I figured even though I'm HORRIBLE at updating this journal I should at least update when there's semi-momentous occasions in my life right? Well the reality of me graduating next year still hasn't sunk in yet, but it was helped along today when I applied to graduate. It was so simple, just confirmation of information and that was it, Winter 2006 graduation ceremony here I come (given that I finish every single ridiculous ls&a requirement). I think only if/when my med school acceptance letter comes will it this graduation thing fully sink in. I'm giving myself a week and a half to get my secondary app in, I've already chased down all my professors to hurry up and turn in their letters. I'm horrible at writing, and even even worse at making myself sit there just to finish these damn essays, ah well... Sometimes I wish I could graduate next year with no regrets, but I would just be kidding myself how wouldn't I. I will graduate filled with regrets; leaving this wonderful university so early, saying goodbye to the friends whom I admire everyday and even regretting that perhaps I haven't fulfilled my potential. Maybe I haven't, I won't be going to my first choice graduate school, hell I won't even be going to my 10th choice medical school but I guess I can't whine too much since I didn't even try for my first through tenth choice. I will allow myself to leave filled with all those regrets except my current regrets over my graduate school choice. I refuse to leave with them, I will slowly shed them as the days go by, perhaps I will completely lose them the day the accept/reject me...ironic isn't it. Someday I'll be able to look back on this time and laugh. I'll be laughing at my over emphasis on such a small thing as school choice, my ignorance and my lack of maturity. Until that day comes though, I apologize...