What a trip
A so post to be well planned trip turned into a nightmare. It was awful, stressful, and very disappointing.
Thursday - We set off the the parents house, hung out for a little and went to bed of result of arriving a little late.
Friday -Mom cooked us a Christmas ever breakfast,and she worked the rest of the day, so Dad, Shawn, and I took a ride into town and checked the area out and had lunch together it was very nice, than later that night my mom cooked a Christmas dinner. We hung out and talked and opened up gift together. It was nice. We went to bed and my sister arrived around 2am. We all got up and opened gifts sense I was leaving really early that morning for Shawn's moms house.
Saturday - We get to Shawn's moms house for Christmas his Aunt and Uncle were there. We just sat around and talked all day and had dinner. It was a good night. His mom is such a lovely person.
Sunday - We woke up early to head to Georgia. The day started out wonderful. We had an early breakfast at McDonalds were we met some crazy locals. Than we drove around. We were headed for the blue ridge mountains, but we called and they had 8 inches of snow. We have summer tires, there was no way the car was going to make it. So we decided to find a different place to camp out at for the time being. Well we settled in Oconee, Ga. At this camp site called North Shore. Which when we got there it was already dark, they did not have a place for a fire pit, and we were numb it was so cold we couldn't feel our hands. So we decided to get a hotel room for the night and plan things better from there.It turned out to be a nice night we played board games and talked and watch tv ( we stayed worm!).
Monday - So Monday comes, we head out a little late in the afternoon to try and find a hiking spot, that failed, we did come across a campsite that was in the woods it wasn't a rv park any thing of that sort. Just pick a spot set up your tent and there you go. We actually were really excited and it did not feel extremely cold out. We went to Walmart and got some food and utilities we needed for our camp night. We went to the camp site and instantly started a fire. We went around the mountain picking up wood. Another group of young people decided to camp out in the area as well. We thought everything was going to be great. Once the sun went down it got FREEZING! I couldn't feel my toes, we couldn't see anything in the camp area it was pitch black, all we could do was curl up in a ball in out sleeping bags and still freeze. So we decided to pack up the tent and say fuck the trip because the weather took all control over our trip and there was no way we were going to make it to the blue ridge mountains. We drove and drove and drove in the middle of the night to get to his moms house.
Tuesday - We arrived late or early which ever you prefer to say (3am). We slept at his moms house, than woke up early took a walk of shame as we had to tell everyone about our very shitty trip. We made his mom breakfast and than cleaned up. Packed up the car and decided to go home. His sister wanted to meet us at star bucks first. So I had coffee with Shawn, his sister, his mom, and step dad and than went to this little garden shop. After that we decided we were going to go see my sister sense we were so post to spend New Years with her. We met up with her and went to down town St. Augustine we went out to eat and had happy hour beers (yum!) and ate some dinner, we waited for Mike to get off of work and then all of us went to this pool hall and played pool which was a lot of fun. It was so nice to see my sister really enjoying herself. I had a blast. I think we all did that night. They offered us to spend the night but Shawn sort of want to just head home and get this disaster trip over with. So we did that. But on the way home we hit a forest fire the highway was shut down for miles, we had to take a detour, we got lost, we couldn't breathe or see anything a foot in front of us because of the smoke. I felt like I couldn't breathe at all it was awful.
Wednesday - So today is Wednesday and I got shitty sleep on the ride home, and poor Shawn got none.We finally reach our unwanted destination. We get inside and the house is a fucking mess! I guess Shawn's Dad and step mom brought my garden plants inside because of a freeze warning but they got dirt all over the house, than Malo our poor fat cat has extremely long hair and it was all tangled and just a fucking mess. He had shit stuck all on his butt and it got everywhere around the house from him jumping on everything. So It's 7:30 am and Shawn gets a blanket and goes to sleep and tells me to pick up the dog and to find a place for Malo to get groomed and passes out. I'm pissed because I am tired. But I feel horrible because Shawn is so stressed out he drove the whole trip when I was sleeping and he packed and unpacked the car. So I know by taking care of the animals he will really appreciate it. But I am sick and tired of this whole situation to. A stress free trip turned onto a very expensive failure, that is what stresses me the most.
So I picked up Wyatt, and I dropped Malo off to get groomed. Shawn is sleeping, sleep is very tempting at this point. But I also feel like I should start getting shit done to make things a lot better for Shawn. Maybe what I will do is take an hour long nap, than get up, start unpacking the car, and cleaning up the house, than pick Malo up when he is ready, and than come home finish cleaning, I can look up my books for school, I can exercise, and watch a movie tonight.
Tomorrow I should think about getting my tag for my motorcycle, canceling my gym membership, and looking at trying to get a credit card.
There is just so much that needs to be done, I am not looking forward to going back to school, and I am not looking forward to going back to work.
i am doing really well by trying to take better approches when it comes to certain situations. Such as not flipping out on Shawn randomly, and trying to understand that everything will never be 100% perfect or even close half the time. I am trying to accept certain things, especially change. I am trying to go with the flow and just now care about things to the point were my mind boils over and I flip out.
I saw a psychatrist because Shawn wanted me to go on medication, but then when I told him I saw someone and wanted to talk to him about what she prescribed me he just blew me off. It sort of hurt my feelings because he was the one who wanted me to do this in the first place. I haven't decided if I should take it or not. I think I will stick to getting prescribed ativan for my anxiety but I am confident that I should stay away from other medications. I will take my vitamins everymorning like I have been, I will use Ativan when needed for panic attacks. and I will do my best by trying to avoid sitautions that make me tick. I will force myself to walk away from certain things and take the time to cool down and I will do everything I can possibly do to make life a lot more enjoyable. I do not want a medication that changes my body, and the person I am. This is me and I love me. I understand some of me has problems and is not at the best state of mind some times but hopefully this approach I am taking will really work, This all is my new years resolution that I am starting way early.
Thursday - We set off the the parents house, hung out for a little and went to bed of result of arriving a little late.
Friday -Mom cooked us a Christmas ever breakfast,and she worked the rest of the day, so Dad, Shawn, and I took a ride into town and checked the area out and had lunch together it was very nice, than later that night my mom cooked a Christmas dinner. We hung out and talked and opened up gift together. It was nice. We went to bed and my sister arrived around 2am. We all got up and opened gifts sense I was leaving really early that morning for Shawn's moms house.
Saturday - We get to Shawn's moms house for Christmas his Aunt and Uncle were there. We just sat around and talked all day and had dinner. It was a good night. His mom is such a lovely person.
Sunday - We woke up early to head to Georgia. The day started out wonderful. We had an early breakfast at McDonalds were we met some crazy locals. Than we drove around. We were headed for the blue ridge mountains, but we called and they had 8 inches of snow. We have summer tires, there was no way the car was going to make it. So we decided to find a different place to camp out at for the time being. Well we settled in Oconee, Ga. At this camp site called North Shore. Which when we got there it was already dark, they did not have a place for a fire pit, and we were numb it was so cold we couldn't feel our hands. So we decided to get a hotel room for the night and plan things better from there.It turned out to be a nice night we played board games and talked and watch tv ( we stayed worm!).
Monday - So Monday comes, we head out a little late in the afternoon to try and find a hiking spot, that failed, we did come across a campsite that was in the woods it wasn't a rv park any thing of that sort. Just pick a spot set up your tent and there you go. We actually were really excited and it did not feel extremely cold out. We went to Walmart and got some food and utilities we needed for our camp night. We went to the camp site and instantly started a fire. We went around the mountain picking up wood. Another group of young people decided to camp out in the area as well. We thought everything was going to be great. Once the sun went down it got FREEZING! I couldn't feel my toes, we couldn't see anything in the camp area it was pitch black, all we could do was curl up in a ball in out sleeping bags and still freeze. So we decided to pack up the tent and say fuck the trip because the weather took all control over our trip and there was no way we were going to make it to the blue ridge mountains. We drove and drove and drove in the middle of the night to get to his moms house.
Tuesday - We arrived late or early which ever you prefer to say (3am). We slept at his moms house, than woke up early took a walk of shame as we had to tell everyone about our very shitty trip. We made his mom breakfast and than cleaned up. Packed up the car and decided to go home. His sister wanted to meet us at star bucks first. So I had coffee with Shawn, his sister, his mom, and step dad and than went to this little garden shop. After that we decided we were going to go see my sister sense we were so post to spend New Years with her. We met up with her and went to down town St. Augustine we went out to eat and had happy hour beers (yum!) and ate some dinner, we waited for Mike to get off of work and then all of us went to this pool hall and played pool which was a lot of fun. It was so nice to see my sister really enjoying herself. I had a blast. I think we all did that night. They offered us to spend the night but Shawn sort of want to just head home and get this disaster trip over with. So we did that. But on the way home we hit a forest fire the highway was shut down for miles, we had to take a detour, we got lost, we couldn't breathe or see anything a foot in front of us because of the smoke. I felt like I couldn't breathe at all it was awful.
Wednesday - So today is Wednesday and I got shitty sleep on the ride home, and poor Shawn got none.We finally reach our unwanted destination. We get inside and the house is a fucking mess! I guess Shawn's Dad and step mom brought my garden plants inside because of a freeze warning but they got dirt all over the house, than Malo our poor fat cat has extremely long hair and it was all tangled and just a fucking mess. He had shit stuck all on his butt and it got everywhere around the house from him jumping on everything. So It's 7:30 am and Shawn gets a blanket and goes to sleep and tells me to pick up the dog and to find a place for Malo to get groomed and passes out. I'm pissed because I am tired. But I feel horrible because Shawn is so stressed out he drove the whole trip when I was sleeping and he packed and unpacked the car. So I know by taking care of the animals he will really appreciate it. But I am sick and tired of this whole situation to. A stress free trip turned onto a very expensive failure, that is what stresses me the most.
So I picked up Wyatt, and I dropped Malo off to get groomed. Shawn is sleeping, sleep is very tempting at this point. But I also feel like I should start getting shit done to make things a lot better for Shawn. Maybe what I will do is take an hour long nap, than get up, start unpacking the car, and cleaning up the house, than pick Malo up when he is ready, and than come home finish cleaning, I can look up my books for school, I can exercise, and watch a movie tonight.
Tomorrow I should think about getting my tag for my motorcycle, canceling my gym membership, and looking at trying to get a credit card.
There is just so much that needs to be done, I am not looking forward to going back to school, and I am not looking forward to going back to work.
i am doing really well by trying to take better approches when it comes to certain situations. Such as not flipping out on Shawn randomly, and trying to understand that everything will never be 100% perfect or even close half the time. I am trying to accept certain things, especially change. I am trying to go with the flow and just now care about things to the point were my mind boils over and I flip out.
I saw a psychatrist because Shawn wanted me to go on medication, but then when I told him I saw someone and wanted to talk to him about what she prescribed me he just blew me off. It sort of hurt my feelings because he was the one who wanted me to do this in the first place. I haven't decided if I should take it or not. I think I will stick to getting prescribed ativan for my anxiety but I am confident that I should stay away from other medications. I will take my vitamins everymorning like I have been, I will use Ativan when needed for panic attacks. and I will do my best by trying to avoid sitautions that make me tick. I will force myself to walk away from certain things and take the time to cool down and I will do everything I can possibly do to make life a lot more enjoyable. I do not want a medication that changes my body, and the person I am. This is me and I love me. I understand some of me has problems and is not at the best state of mind some times but hopefully this approach I am taking will really work, This all is my new years resolution that I am starting way early.