Tour Journal Pt. 1
I don't have much time, but I've been waiting impatiently for a couple days to update about the most interesting thing that's happened on tour so far:
In Kansas City the headlining band's bassist was trying to get fresh, and I'm always down for fucking with guys when they start to flirt with me, so he asked for my number, I gave it to him. LWID helped me with some of the things I said to him but here are the texts word for word [Keep inn mind all the stuff I start to tell him is a lie...obviously]:
Bass player douche: What are UR plans 4 the night?
Me: Sucking your balls out of your dick
Bass player douche: hmm...that seems graphic ;)
Me: I dont know probably drinking and eating potatoes
Bass player douche: that doesnt seem as graphic. personally i liked the 1st one better, but potatoes are good 2. so um... would you mind some company later? there doesnt HAVE 2 b any sucking...
Me: ahhahahah yeah ok youd probably be expecting things nif you came over. I'm pretty much abstanent at this point. PS dont act like that's not what you had in mind, I know better heh.
Bass player douche: Ur such a girl :) thanks 4 assuming that my thoughts were centered around wrapping my fingers around ur zipper., and not on the by-chance that i just want 2 c u.
Me: well we did just meet yesterday
Bass player douche: yup. i do find u highly attractive, and MAYBE i pondered a kiss...but im not stalking the thought of getting u nude under me.
Me: that sounds good and everything, but that's probably how i got HPV
Bass player douche: 80% of women have that. i just hope it doenst contribute to future cancer. u really feel i'd attempt 2 corrupt u, dont u?
Me:you can corupt me, but only my ass. i dont think it spreads through my ass. sorry if this is forward imkidn of durnk
Bass player douche: so what are you trying 2 say, miss bob? are you 2 say u'd let me do what i wanted 2 u, as long as i dont get HPV?
[editors note: WOW. .............................WOW.]
Me: consider this a compliment, i usually only let bi or gayd uddes do me in the butt
Me: and i dont do ass to mouth, unles you're really good
Bass player douche: so u really are being4ward....all u have 2 do is say it and i will come over. do u want me?
Me: let me see if the guys are down
Bass player douche: if the guys are down? with me coming over?
Me: to see if they want to watch or particpate. thats ok right?
Bass player douche: nice. i feel led, but i'm not modest
[Editors note: okay, at this point I was CERTAIN he had caught onto our joke.]
Bass player douche: I'm going 2 b on my way over soon.
Me: can you get those condoms that covers your butt and your letgs on your way over?
Bass player douche: that sounds like a fallacy.
Me: no its real, its for my herpes from HPV. I had a break out a couuple days ago and i forgot my valtrex at home
Bass player douche: this is a strong attempt 2 dissaude me from attempting 2 make u come on my tongue, isnt it?
Me: wtf? i told you what you were getting into. i dont want to be responsible for giving you anything
Me: its not the cum on your tongue im worried about...its the discharge.
Bass player douche: I know. I'm not deterred.
[Note: WOWOWOWOW....]
So about a half hour later...the guy ACTUALLY SHOWS UP TO THE HOUSE WE'RE STAYING AT. He called the person's house we were staying at and got directions. I was in complete shock. He tried grabbing my leg in a flirtatious kind of way, and then smacked my ass. When he followed me upstairs when I was going to the bathroom.
He also waited for me for 2 hours upstairs for us to fuck, and tried to find other places to go. He was in the house for a total of 6 hours! hahaha. As he started to become more desperate he tried following me INTO the bathroom and knocked on the door when I locked it. He eventually left and then sent me these texts the next morning:
Bass player douche: Ok. Thank you for the awkward evening, and the talk about ur HPV. I'm going away...2 my home. good to met u. it was fun.
Me: Well, you didn't bring the short condoms.
Bass player douche: right. I saw how u acted around me...and the looks that other chick was giving me. u were just playing. its cool. i just wish that u wouldve just left it b.
Bass player douche: i could've stayed at the show.
Bass player douche: u get that?
I stopped responding after that.
but WOW. I can't believe guys like this actually exist. Seriously.
In Kansas City the headlining band's bassist was trying to get fresh, and I'm always down for fucking with guys when they start to flirt with me, so he asked for my number, I gave it to him. LWID helped me with some of the things I said to him but here are the texts word for word [Keep inn mind all the stuff I start to tell him is a lie...obviously]:
Bass player douche: What are UR plans 4 the night?
Me: Sucking your balls out of your dick
Bass player douche: hmm...that seems graphic ;)
Me: I dont know probably drinking and eating potatoes
Bass player douche: that doesnt seem as graphic. personally i liked the 1st one better, but potatoes are good 2. so um... would you mind some company later? there doesnt HAVE 2 b any sucking...
Me: ahhahahah yeah ok youd probably be expecting things nif you came over. I'm pretty much abstanent at this point. PS dont act like that's not what you had in mind, I know better heh.
Bass player douche: Ur such a girl :) thanks 4 assuming that my thoughts were centered around wrapping my fingers around ur zipper., and not on the by-chance that i just want 2 c u.
Me: well we did just meet yesterday
Bass player douche: yup. i do find u highly attractive, and MAYBE i pondered a kiss...but im not stalking the thought of getting u nude under me.
Me: that sounds good and everything, but that's probably how i got HPV
Bass player douche: 80% of women have that. i just hope it doenst contribute to future cancer. u really feel i'd attempt 2 corrupt u, dont u?
Me:you can corupt me, but only my ass. i dont think it spreads through my ass. sorry if this is forward imkidn of durnk
Bass player douche: so what are you trying 2 say, miss bob? are you 2 say u'd let me do what i wanted 2 u, as long as i dont get HPV?
[editors note: WOW. .............................WOW.]
Me: consider this a compliment, i usually only let bi or gayd uddes do me in the butt
Me: and i dont do ass to mouth, unles you're really good
Bass player douche: so u really are being4ward....all u have 2 do is say it and i will come over. do u want me?
Me: let me see if the guys are down
Bass player douche: if the guys are down? with me coming over?
Me: to see if they want to watch or particpate. thats ok right?
Bass player douche: nice. i feel led, but i'm not modest
[Editors note: okay, at this point I was CERTAIN he had caught onto our joke.]
Bass player douche: I'm going 2 b on my way over soon.
Me: can you get those condoms that covers your butt and your letgs on your way over?
Bass player douche: that sounds like a fallacy.
Me: no its real, its for my herpes from HPV. I had a break out a couuple days ago and i forgot my valtrex at home
Bass player douche: this is a strong attempt 2 dissaude me from attempting 2 make u come on my tongue, isnt it?
Me: wtf? i told you what you were getting into. i dont want to be responsible for giving you anything
Me: its not the cum on your tongue im worried about...its the discharge.
Bass player douche: I know. I'm not deterred.
[Note: WOWOWOWOW....]
So about a half hour later...the guy ACTUALLY SHOWS UP TO THE HOUSE WE'RE STAYING AT. He called the person's house we were staying at and got directions. I was in complete shock. He tried grabbing my leg in a flirtatious kind of way, and then smacked my ass. When he followed me upstairs when I was going to the bathroom.
He also waited for me for 2 hours upstairs for us to fuck, and tried to find other places to go. He was in the house for a total of 6 hours! hahaha. As he started to become more desperate he tried following me INTO the bathroom and knocked on the door when I locked it. He eventually left and then sent me these texts the next morning:
Bass player douche: Ok. Thank you for the awkward evening, and the talk about ur HPV. I'm going away...2 my home. good to met u. it was fun.
Me: Well, you didn't bring the short condoms.
Bass player douche: right. I saw how u acted around me...and the looks that other chick was giving me. u were just playing. its cool. i just wish that u wouldve just left it b.
Bass player douche: i could've stayed at the show.
Bass player douche: u get that?
I stopped responding after that.
but WOW. I can't believe guys like this actually exist. Seriously.