not my only chance
Title: Not My Only Chance
Author: i_ht_wolfe (me)
Rating: PG-13?
Pairing: Eric/Ryan - obviously
Warnings: Self harm
Disclaimer: I don't own them, yet *plots to kidnap them
Sequal to: One chance
Summary: There was only one way to fix it
A/N: There is no beta so i apologize if there are any mistakes
A/N 2: I wrote this for
bigfish05 as she so kindly demanded it =)
Feedback: Yes! please, if you don't mind - I don't mind constructive critisizam but don't be mean
I try to open my eyes but it hurts. I have no idea where I am. When my eyes finally adjust I take in my surroundings and realize I’m in hospital. As I try to remember why I'm here I don’t notice the dark figure standing in the doorway. Then it suddenly hits me….
I can't stop the tears falling as I realize I had one chance, one chance with Ryan and it just walked out the door, along with my heart. I sink to the floor drawing my knees to my. I'm an idiot. I love him and I treated him like a slut, I cheated on him and I had the nerve to hit him. I was scared of commitment but that’s no excuse for what I did. There is only one way to fix this, I think as I stand and wonder over to the kitchen. I go on autopilot as I grab the knife from the draw and slowly bring it to my wrist. I feel pain but I know I deserve it and so much more. I begin feeling weak and crumble to the floor, surrounded by a pool of my own blood. I don’t hear the door open, I don’t hear the screams, and I don’t feel the touch on my skin as someone checks for a pulse. I open my eyes briefly and see Ryan.
“I’m sorry…I love you” is all I can say and then everything turns black.
I remember what happened and how Ryan saved me. I finally notice the shadow as it moves forward and then a pale hand grabs mine.
“You’re an idiot, you know that? What the hell were you thinking?” His voice sounds rough and dry, like he’s been crying.
“It was the only way to fix things. I love you and I hurt you so much. I was trying to make things right.” I say, almost in a whisper.
“I love you too, you’re an idiot and yes you hurt me, but I love you. I can’t believe you would try something like this. Promise me you won’t do this again. Promise me!”
I look up into his eyes for the first time and agree. He smiles, it’s barely there but I can see it and I return it. Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t ruin everything.