dying in italics
in my dreams, my casket is open. there's a gaping hole in my head. the wet, squishy tunnel through my brain leaks blood. my eyes are wide open and a stranger is reading my eulogy. then you're in my iine of sight. you're cradling the side of my head, fingers ghosting over the edge of the exit wound. i bet your fingertips are sticky. you're saying, "goodbye goodbye goodbye. "
i'm talking too. i'm saying, "i'm sorry. i'm still here, i'm sorry i'm sorry."
you kiss my eyelids. "goodbye," you say one final time. i realize then that maybe you weren't talking to me when you were saying goodbye. you're climbing in next to me. i thrash. you wrap your arms around me and you lay your head in the red puddle that formed beneath me.
i tell you this can't happen. i tell you to leave. i tell you that you've still got time, but i don't think you know what i mean.
the casket closes. your fingers burn my icy skin. I scream.
i'm talking too. i'm saying, "i'm sorry. i'm still here, i'm sorry i'm sorry."
you kiss my eyelids. "goodbye," you say one final time. i realize then that maybe you weren't talking to me when you were saying goodbye. you're climbing in next to me. i thrash. you wrap your arms around me and you lay your head in the red puddle that formed beneath me.
i tell you this can't happen. i tell you to leave. i tell you that you've still got time, but i don't think you know what i mean.
the casket closes. your fingers burn my icy skin. I scream.