Opportunity.
So it's 5 in the morning. I'm here to tell you guys a story. Because that's what I do here. I tell you guys stories. This one's great, though, I promise.
So Megan and JoJo came around at like, midnight. Megan was going to stay at hers for the night, but they wanted to go out to eat. There's this place open 24/7 and it's absolutely lovely and we all went together a few nights before Kate's funeral because we were fucking sad and food is nice and why wouldn't you go out to eat in the middle of the night? We wanted to go again. So we went again. As we're leaving the house, JoJo says "I bet we'll get hit on tonight." It was a joke that quickly turned into reality.
We order our shit. Our waitress is lovely. I get a cheese steak and coffee. Everything is great.
And then this one guy walks in. Red sweatshirt. Nice hair. Very attractive. He sat down a few yards away and I glance over at him and he's already looking at me. So I smile at him, because that's what I do when I make eye contact with strangers, but then I go back to talking to JoJo. Then a group of loud, obnoxious douche bags walk in. Clearly drunk. The cute guy is, of course, with them. Ugh. Waitress took their order and I felt so bad for her.
Minutes later, they start fucking talking to us. And yeah, I get it, drunk guys get stupid and they hit on people like morons all the time, but there's more to the story. There was a dude with a camouflage jacket talking to me. You know how he got my attention? He yelled, "You...Hey you...You with the glasses." Megan and JoJo have glasses too, but they had their backs to him. So I look at them and Camo points to the cute guy and says, "He likes you. He thinks your cute." And I'm a little flattered, but I'm mostly annoyed because THEY'RE ANNOYING and there are literally only five other people in the entire place. Why does everyone else gotta hear this?
Cute dude nods along and then Camo says "He wants to make out with you." And the word DRUNK comes back to the front of my mind.
"That's great," I say.
"So do you wanna come sit over here with us?" Cute guy asks.
"Why would I do that?"
"Why wouldn't you?"
"Convince me."
And then the cute guy got a lot less cute when he said "You can come sit in my lap."
Like, fuck no I'm not sitting in your lap. So I say, "How about no?"
Megan and JoJo were basically shitting themselves in their seats, laughing themselves to tears and whatnot because, like I said, they had their backs to the group.
They shut up. And I'm hoping that's it, even though it was kind of hilarious as well as annoying. Another group of people walk in a few minutes later, two guys and two girls. The group of douche's cheer and Camo goes "HEY! We know you!" And the new group did not look happy at all. They sat down in the booth next to ours, and Camo says, "Hey, those girls there? They don't like us. And she won't sit with us."
The guy gives them this LOOK that basically says "This. Fucking. Bitch." I look up at him and say, "They've been like that since they arrived."
Guy looks at me and says "They were like that at the bar, too. They've had a few too many, I'd say." These guys were lovely.
Cute guy looks at me and asks again. "You wanna come sit with us?"
"What part of 'no' don't you understand?"
"Well, can I come sit with you?"
"Probably not."
"Why not?"
"Because you're not my type."
"So what IS your type?"
"Not drunk douche bags."
Dude's friends collectively go "OOOOHHH!!" and the girls next to us are laughing and their boyfriends go "Holy shiiiiiit!" It was fantastic.
The guy from the lovely group leans over and asks me, "Do you work here?" I tell him no. "Well, I work at the truck stop behind this place, and if you can handle guys like him, I got a job for you." He asked me how much I was making an hour, and then he told me I'd be making two bucks MORE an hour if I took him up on his offer, and it was TEMPTING. But the thing is that I don't LIKE dealing with idiots. But it's STILL almost $10 an hour and I might just deal with idiots if it means a bigger paycheck. He told me to think about it. Told me to come in and find him if I wanted the job.
Megan's friend Trenton walks in with his mom and she tells them what's going on because it IS kind of hilarious. And then my mom's friend Troy walks in and Megan fills him in, too, and he KNOWS the guys because he's the bouncer at the bar they were just at. He said "If they give you anymore trouble, let me know."
Ten minutes later and the douches are talking to us again, and at this point, I'm basically fed up. "Are you still talking to me?" I yell.
"Well....yeah."
"Why?"
"....Do you wanna come sit with us?"
Megan sighs and says, "Jesus fucking Christ."
"No," I tell them.
"You're playing hard to get."
"No, I'm playing Shut The Fuck Up and you're losing."
Megan and JoJo and Shane lose it. The lovely group of people choke on their coffee and lose it. Trenton and his mom lose it. Our waitress and the cook lose it. The dude's fucking friends lose it. The guy sitting by himself drinking coffee loses it. Literally everyone in the restaurant is laughing because this guy just doesn't fucking get it. The douche bags don't talk to me again.
This is the first time I've ever been hit on (if you can even call it that) by a stranger. Like, it was never a regular occurrence in school or anything, but sometimes it happened. And maybe these dumbfucks weren't being serious. Maybe they were just being idiots. Maybe they were just giving his friend shit and he decided to go along with it. I don't know and I don't really care.
So yeah. Moral of the story? Always go out to eat in the middle of the night, because there might be drunk people who want your attention, and there might be people who like the way you handle said drunk people, and you might get offered a better job because of it.
So Megan and JoJo came around at like, midnight. Megan was going to stay at hers for the night, but they wanted to go out to eat. There's this place open 24/7 and it's absolutely lovely and we all went together a few nights before Kate's funeral because we were fucking sad and food is nice and why wouldn't you go out to eat in the middle of the night? We wanted to go again. So we went again. As we're leaving the house, JoJo says "I bet we'll get hit on tonight." It was a joke that quickly turned into reality.
We order our shit. Our waitress is lovely. I get a cheese steak and coffee. Everything is great.
And then this one guy walks in. Red sweatshirt. Nice hair. Very attractive. He sat down a few yards away and I glance over at him and he's already looking at me. So I smile at him, because that's what I do when I make eye contact with strangers, but then I go back to talking to JoJo. Then a group of loud, obnoxious douche bags walk in. Clearly drunk. The cute guy is, of course, with them. Ugh. Waitress took their order and I felt so bad for her.
Minutes later, they start fucking talking to us. And yeah, I get it, drunk guys get stupid and they hit on people like morons all the time, but there's more to the story. There was a dude with a camouflage jacket talking to me. You know how he got my attention? He yelled, "You...Hey you...You with the glasses." Megan and JoJo have glasses too, but they had their backs to him. So I look at them and Camo points to the cute guy and says, "He likes you. He thinks your cute." And I'm a little flattered, but I'm mostly annoyed because THEY'RE ANNOYING and there are literally only five other people in the entire place. Why does everyone else gotta hear this?
Cute dude nods along and then Camo says "He wants to make out with you." And the word DRUNK comes back to the front of my mind.
"That's great," I say.
"So do you wanna come sit over here with us?" Cute guy asks.
"Why would I do that?"
"Why wouldn't you?"
"Convince me."
And then the cute guy got a lot less cute when he said "You can come sit in my lap."
Like, fuck no I'm not sitting in your lap. So I say, "How about no?"
Megan and JoJo were basically shitting themselves in their seats, laughing themselves to tears and whatnot because, like I said, they had their backs to the group.
They shut up. And I'm hoping that's it, even though it was kind of hilarious as well as annoying. Another group of people walk in a few minutes later, two guys and two girls. The group of douche's cheer and Camo goes "HEY! We know you!" And the new group did not look happy at all. They sat down in the booth next to ours, and Camo says, "Hey, those girls there? They don't like us. And she won't sit with us."
The guy gives them this LOOK that basically says "This. Fucking. Bitch." I look up at him and say, "They've been like that since they arrived."
Guy looks at me and says "They were like that at the bar, too. They've had a few too many, I'd say." These guys were lovely.
Cute guy looks at me and asks again. "You wanna come sit with us?"
"What part of 'no' don't you understand?"
"Well, can I come sit with you?"
"Probably not."
"Why not?"
"Because you're not my type."
"So what IS your type?"
"Not drunk douche bags."
Dude's friends collectively go "OOOOHHH!!" and the girls next to us are laughing and their boyfriends go "Holy shiiiiiit!" It was fantastic.
The guy from the lovely group leans over and asks me, "Do you work here?" I tell him no. "Well, I work at the truck stop behind this place, and if you can handle guys like him, I got a job for you." He asked me how much I was making an hour, and then he told me I'd be making two bucks MORE an hour if I took him up on his offer, and it was TEMPTING. But the thing is that I don't LIKE dealing with idiots. But it's STILL almost $10 an hour and I might just deal with idiots if it means a bigger paycheck. He told me to think about it. Told me to come in and find him if I wanted the job.
Megan's friend Trenton walks in with his mom and she tells them what's going on because it IS kind of hilarious. And then my mom's friend Troy walks in and Megan fills him in, too, and he KNOWS the guys because he's the bouncer at the bar they were just at. He said "If they give you anymore trouble, let me know."
Ten minutes later and the douches are talking to us again, and at this point, I'm basically fed up. "Are you still talking to me?" I yell.
"Well....yeah."
"Why?"
"....Do you wanna come sit with us?"
Megan sighs and says, "Jesus fucking Christ."
"No," I tell them.
"You're playing hard to get."
"No, I'm playing Shut The Fuck Up and you're losing."
Megan and JoJo and Shane lose it. The lovely group of people choke on their coffee and lose it. Trenton and his mom lose it. Our waitress and the cook lose it. The dude's fucking friends lose it. The guy sitting by himself drinking coffee loses it. Literally everyone in the restaurant is laughing because this guy just doesn't fucking get it. The douche bags don't talk to me again.
This is the first time I've ever been hit on (if you can even call it that) by a stranger. Like, it was never a regular occurrence in school or anything, but sometimes it happened. And maybe these dumbfucks weren't being serious. Maybe they were just being idiots. Maybe they were just giving his friend shit and he decided to go along with it. I don't know and I don't really care.
So yeah. Moral of the story? Always go out to eat in the middle of the night, because there might be drunk people who want your attention, and there might be people who like the way you handle said drunk people, and you might get offered a better job because of it.