confessions.........
yesterday I was thinking about the last time I was happy.
not just a moment of happiness but the last time I had a good day.
I remember the people who were there
people I called my friends, but I dont even know them anymore
and there was a boyl [isnt there always?]
he was there for a minute, in and out of my life
I have blocked out every memory but this one.
even when I look at pictures of events
it is as if I am looking at someones creation of what might have occured.
I dont remember the events or the people in them.
but that one night I dont need pictures because I have the memories.
burned into my brain
I wish I didnt have them
who was that boy? what was his name?
in other thoughts
why am I writting my thoughts?
why would anyone read this?
its not as if I am interesting
Im shallow, transparant, completely lacking in originality or any sense of who I am myself.
I am about as interesting as this blank sheet of paper
when I am done writting, this paper will be worth less for the words I have written on it
I lied to you
I lied about you
I cheated on you
I stole from you
I hurt you
I betrayed your confidence
I fucked your best friend
I misled you
I stabbed you in the back
I stabbed you in the face
I dont believe in god
I dont believe in you
I dont know what I am feeling right now
I dont even know if it is real
I dont trust my feelings anymore
they betray me more than my actions
who are you darleen reyes?
no one really knows
if anyone thinks they do
I met a boy named Josh
I met a boyl named nathan
I met a boy named gus
I met an Angel
I dont know any of them
"Have I told you today that I love you?"
No, you have not told me today,
you have not told me for many days
Remember
I was crying so hard
I couldnt stand
I couldnt breath
I fell to the ground
You came to me
You held me
You said you would never leave me
I asked you why you loved me
You said "because I was made for you"
I believed you
You are a Liar
Love, Kindness, Compassion, Tolerance, Empathy,
do these things really exist?
not just a moment of happiness but the last time I had a good day.
I remember the people who were there
people I called my friends, but I dont even know them anymore
and there was a boyl [isnt there always?]
he was there for a minute, in and out of my life
I have blocked out every memory but this one.
even when I look at pictures of events
it is as if I am looking at someones creation of what might have occured.
I dont remember the events or the people in them.
but that one night I dont need pictures because I have the memories.
burned into my brain
I wish I didnt have them
who was that boy? what was his name?
in other thoughts
why am I writting my thoughts?
why would anyone read this?
its not as if I am interesting
Im shallow, transparant, completely lacking in originality or any sense of who I am myself.
I am about as interesting as this blank sheet of paper
when I am done writting, this paper will be worth less for the words I have written on it
I lied to you
I lied about you
I cheated on you
I stole from you
I hurt you
I betrayed your confidence
I fucked your best friend
I misled you
I stabbed you in the back
I stabbed you in the face
I dont believe in god
I dont believe in you
I dont know what I am feeling right now
I dont even know if it is real
I dont trust my feelings anymore
they betray me more than my actions
who are you darleen reyes?
no one really knows
if anyone thinks they do
I met a boy named Josh
I met a boyl named nathan
I met a boy named gus
I met an Angel
I dont know any of them
"Have I told you today that I love you?"
No, you have not told me today,
you have not told me for many days
Remember
I was crying so hard
I couldnt stand
I couldnt breath
I fell to the ground
You came to me
You held me
You said you would never leave me
I asked you why you loved me
You said "because I was made for you"
I believed you
You are a Liar
Love, Kindness, Compassion, Tolerance, Empathy,
do these things really exist?