Awkward Pause
I practically had to fight back the tears as Angel stalked off to conduct his business with Wesley and Connor. I couldn’t believe that he’d been so unbelievably cold - couldn’t believe that he’d ever think that “forgot to mention it” would pass as an excuse when it came to something this big. Then again, Angel had been the only guy who’d ever
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Is it though? non-defensive Buffy asks defensive Buffy, and I really don’t have an answer to it. Angel and I have gotten so good at playing tragic lovers on opposite ends of the world (or a couple of hours apart) that I barely remember what it was like to be in his arms.
And Angel doesn’t seem all that keen on reminding me, either.
Plus, now with Spike here in his noncorporeality, I have two vampires to moon over hopelessly. If everything were reversed - if Angel were the ghost and Spike were the solid one and Spike were my long lost love, then this would all work out just fine. Just fine.
Yay for shock.
“Dawn’s fine.” I can’t think about Dawn right now. Dawn would’ve known what to say to Spike if she happened to run into the see-through version. Spike wasn’t Dawn’s Great Love 2.0. “She’s... in high school. Hemery. I burned down the gym there once. It was kind of the prequel to Sunnydale High.”
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"And why do I get the feeling that I'm gonna continue to not know anything about it too? Soulboy crooks his little finger and you're back by his side lickety split. You say it's a new situation. I say it's a broken bloody record. Tomato, tomahto, potato, potahto, let's call the whole soddin' thing off..."
I make silly gestures and pretty much act like an ass. Yeah, make it easier for her. That's the ticket.
“Dawn’s fine. She’s... in high school. Hemery. I burned down the gym there once. It was kind of the prequel to Sunnydale High.”
I nod at that though. Wouldn't have minded to see the little bit. Miss her something fierce, even though she never quite opened up to me again after...after.
"Good. At least someone's happy."
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“Look,” I start, all ways of defensive. “This isn’t about Angel, Spike. And I don’t even know why we’re having this argument when all I want is to be thrilled that you’re standing in front of me, ghost or spirit or... God, whatever you are.”
I sigh, running my hands through my hair nervously. Things used to be so much simpler. See vampire, slay vampire. Then souls came into play and I really didn’t have a problem slaying vampires that weren’t related to Angel.
Spike’s right, it always goes backs to Angel. Spike just has no idea why.
"Good. At least someone's happy."
“Obviously you’ve never been to high school.”
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"I'm nothing, love. Just a mote being tossed about by the winds of fate. The sooner you accept that and move on the better. At least Angel has a body, he could thrill you. I can't. And that's that."
I shrug and look away. This is not how I wanted it to go. But we don't always get what we want.
“Obviously you’ve never been to high school.”
"Obviously. Actually, there's a lot of things I've never done, Buffy. Like thanked you for your faith in me. For letting me have the good end. Went out in a blaze of glory, just like in the movies, didn't I? Pity they had to make a sequal. It's bound to be a disappointment, right?" I can't look at her anymore, I need to get away for a while, sort out what the hell is going on, where I stand.
"I'll see you around, Buffy. I just...can't do this, not right now." I stride away from her. Don't want to hurt her, but somethings never change.
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