The Arizona Sun Awaits My Arrival
eA good healthy level of hate is always good to have on hand at all times. Theres nothing wrong with it. Hate gets you through times where love just confuses and entraps. Hate is so final and pure. Love is always many-headed and dangerous. I know hate is good because i see how many people dont know how to deal with it. They dont see it for the energy force it can be. When it rises in them, they run headlong into a stranger who lives inside. They dont know themselves and it tears them up when they need themselves the most. They dont have themselves to go to. They were always too busy burning the wax trying to look good for someone else. Trying to be someone's something. What a waste, when you sell yourself out.
I'm not close to people, I am close to myself. I spend a lot of time inside. Where else can you go when everything pushes you to every edge in the joint? You have to make your head your home. Its the only way to withstand places like the one that im in tonight. If you cant pull into yourself, you're finished.
I have made myself an enemy of praise and adulation. Let me explain this reason for this. Praise is dangerous. It can go from a little to too much in a few words. SUre, its nice to know that someone likes what you do. You can see what it does to the rockstar types that believe the reviews and all the things that everyone says. To take it all the way, you must turn a deaf ear to praise. Move and keep moving. The last thing i want to hear is that someone likes what i do. When someone starts in with it, i try to change the subject. I know that im probably more extreme than most in this respect but i have found that praise screws me up. I like it best having little or no interaction with people at all. Thats not to say that i dont like the people that come to the shows. I feel a great responsibility to these strangers. They take time out of their lives to check out what im doing, im honored but i dont want to hear the rub. I am systematically destroying myself piece by piece and i dont need to be complimented on it.
YOu have to be careful because it all can turn on you. I find myself in bad situations where i ask myself if i should never talk to anyone again. I just want to get on with the work. The rest doesnt matter. You see someone that you havent seen for years, and they tell you what your problems are and that you're nothing but an asshole anyway. I pull back from that thought and look at a guy my age with a beer gut and an attitude giving me grief. Its sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew...thats the bottom line. It makes me very hard and wary around people. If im not careful, ill slip into ugly ruts of cynicism. I dont want to be like that. Exhaustion, your a disease.
Best not to mix the past with the present. The present paints the past with gold. The past paints the present with lead. When i run backwards, i feel the desperation rise. Best for me to hurtle headlong into the present. Never look back. Maybe catch on fire if I do it right.
Thats all there is...the RIGHT NOW. If we dont plant ourselves in the front row of the present, I predict that if any of us reach old age, well be sittin on the front porch thinking, "Damn, shoulda burned all the temples. Screamed, danced and dragged life through the coals." I align myself with lifes brutal headlong lunge towards Death. I am in motion at all times. Waging war with Exhaustion. Winning some and losing some.
I'm not close to people, I am close to myself. I spend a lot of time inside. Where else can you go when everything pushes you to every edge in the joint? You have to make your head your home. Its the only way to withstand places like the one that im in tonight. If you cant pull into yourself, you're finished.
I have made myself an enemy of praise and adulation. Let me explain this reason for this. Praise is dangerous. It can go from a little to too much in a few words. SUre, its nice to know that someone likes what you do. You can see what it does to the rockstar types that believe the reviews and all the things that everyone says. To take it all the way, you must turn a deaf ear to praise. Move and keep moving. The last thing i want to hear is that someone likes what i do. When someone starts in with it, i try to change the subject. I know that im probably more extreme than most in this respect but i have found that praise screws me up. I like it best having little or no interaction with people at all. Thats not to say that i dont like the people that come to the shows. I feel a great responsibility to these strangers. They take time out of their lives to check out what im doing, im honored but i dont want to hear the rub. I am systematically destroying myself piece by piece and i dont need to be complimented on it.
YOu have to be careful because it all can turn on you. I find myself in bad situations where i ask myself if i should never talk to anyone again. I just want to get on with the work. The rest doesnt matter. You see someone that you havent seen for years, and they tell you what your problems are and that you're nothing but an asshole anyway. I pull back from that thought and look at a guy my age with a beer gut and an attitude giving me grief. Its sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew...thats the bottom line. It makes me very hard and wary around people. If im not careful, ill slip into ugly ruts of cynicism. I dont want to be like that. Exhaustion, your a disease.
Best not to mix the past with the present. The present paints the past with gold. The past paints the present with lead. When i run backwards, i feel the desperation rise. Best for me to hurtle headlong into the present. Never look back. Maybe catch on fire if I do it right.
Thats all there is...the RIGHT NOW. If we dont plant ourselves in the front row of the present, I predict that if any of us reach old age, well be sittin on the front porch thinking, "Damn, shoulda burned all the temples. Screamed, danced and dragged life through the coals." I align myself with lifes brutal headlong lunge towards Death. I am in motion at all times. Waging war with Exhaustion. Winning some and losing some.