ice nelly greek patê
Two posts in one; the essential and the nonessential.
The Essential.
My mom told me what the doctor said in the meeting they had today. There are two options [I thought, I'm probably going to go with the one no one else has decided toward]. (A) Incubate her because without respiratory assistance, she'll die. Or, (B) Take her off of the breathing machine and give her a drug to make her comfortable, to allow her to relax. She can't breathe without the machine so her organs will fail and her heart will stop. (Is this euthanasia?)
I, of course, opted for choice B when my mom asked me what I thought we should do. Apparently, I wasn't alone. Everyone took that option, with a very good reason; to stop her suffering. As most of my friends know, I'm all about ending human suffering; emotional, physical or otherwise. But basically, tomorrow it'll be decided and, so to speak, ruled that she should be taken off of the breathing machine.
This is going to make me sound like a bad person - but that really only means that I may or may not be working this week. I'd be a lot happier if they could wait until next week to do it, and not in a selfish way. That way, everyone would have a chance to say goodbye to her and the relatives could fly in from wherever to do so and that way, everyone will be together for when she goes.
I just wish she could do it peacefully. I want to tell her that it's okay, that she should just let go. She trusts me, like I trusted her. I think she would listen to me.
Fuck.
But, seriously, any of my friends who have ever met my grandma or I have ever talked about her with - I'd really like it if you came to her funeral. If you can't, that's okay, I understand. But it's pretty much clear that she isn't going to be here for much longer, but maybe I'm putting things too far ahead, but at least I know that if I'm with people I know and love and people I can confide everything to, that I'll be comfortable.
God knows, I'm not able to do that with my family.
And, the non-essential.
Julia and I went to Record and Tape Traders in Catonsville to get her CD and our Rilo Kiley tickets. Yesssss. After, we went to Ellicott City and antiqued and had lunch at a restaurant that had this amazingly gorgeous waiter. I, secretly, wanted to rape him. Then we drove home - through rush hour! - and went to the mall where we ran into her mom and sister, and, eventually, MEG AND LIZZ. Aw, how sweet. Awesome. Then, back to the condo for dinner and board games. Stopped by Target to get moisturizer, ran into Little Chris (aka Homo) and psuedo-hung out with him for a while.
I have to work tomorrow. 130-1000. Yes. Thank... no.
Goodnight.
The Essential.
My mom told me what the doctor said in the meeting they had today. There are two options [I thought, I'm probably going to go with the one no one else has decided toward]. (A) Incubate her because without respiratory assistance, she'll die. Or, (B) Take her off of the breathing machine and give her a drug to make her comfortable, to allow her to relax. She can't breathe without the machine so her organs will fail and her heart will stop. (Is this euthanasia?)
I, of course, opted for choice B when my mom asked me what I thought we should do. Apparently, I wasn't alone. Everyone took that option, with a very good reason; to stop her suffering. As most of my friends know, I'm all about ending human suffering; emotional, physical or otherwise. But basically, tomorrow it'll be decided and, so to speak, ruled that she should be taken off of the breathing machine.
This is going to make me sound like a bad person - but that really only means that I may or may not be working this week. I'd be a lot happier if they could wait until next week to do it, and not in a selfish way. That way, everyone would have a chance to say goodbye to her and the relatives could fly in from wherever to do so and that way, everyone will be together for when she goes.
I just wish she could do it peacefully. I want to tell her that it's okay, that she should just let go. She trusts me, like I trusted her. I think she would listen to me.
Fuck.
But, seriously, any of my friends who have ever met my grandma or I have ever talked about her with - I'd really like it if you came to her funeral. If you can't, that's okay, I understand. But it's pretty much clear that she isn't going to be here for much longer, but maybe I'm putting things too far ahead, but at least I know that if I'm with people I know and love and people I can confide everything to, that I'll be comfortable.
God knows, I'm not able to do that with my family.
And, the non-essential.
Julia and I went to Record and Tape Traders in Catonsville to get her CD and our Rilo Kiley tickets. Yesssss. After, we went to Ellicott City and antiqued and had lunch at a restaurant that had this amazingly gorgeous waiter. I, secretly, wanted to rape him. Then we drove home - through rush hour! - and went to the mall where we ran into her mom and sister, and, eventually, MEG AND LIZZ. Aw, how sweet. Awesome. Then, back to the condo for dinner and board games. Stopped by Target to get moisturizer, ran into Little Chris (aka Homo) and psuedo-hung out with him for a while.
I have to work tomorrow. 130-1000. Yes. Thank... no.
Goodnight.