(no subject)
I was on such an emotional high until about twenty minutes ago.
For the first time in probably over a year, life was throwing me the best of things. There's a love interest, a job, money, everything I could wish for. And what happens?
A love-struck Ryan runs a stop sign and gets a ticket.
Meaning no car.
Meaning no Joe.
Unless, of course, he is to drive here. I hope he does, but you never know.
Realistically, I could say it's Julia's fault, or Becca's fault. But in the end, after whittling everything down, it's only my own. Becca wanted Julia out of the picture so she could get into Pat's pants without trouble. Pat was showing more of an interest to Julia than Becca. I was instructed to take Julia home before we went to the movies. So, I took her home and everything was great. And, head in clouds, WHAM. There's a cop behind me, with his flashers on. I thought I was done for speeding, but I missed the new stopsign they put on 702.
So we did the routine - the license, registration, all of that. And then, the wait. Where everything makes you kind of sick while you think about all of it and you're already sick from not having eaten anything at all for the previous 24 hours. And realising that you're going straight home instead of going back to Towson for your double-date.
And after the cop comes back to the car and hands me a citation instead of letting me off, I begin to cry. So I drive home, tears rolling in my eyes, and park the car. I call my mom, without an answer. I wait in my car for nearly 15 minutes until I realise it's either be inside where I can safely barricade myself, or have to hear her when she gets out of her car.
She phones me back, and I get it over my phone.
I don't know what to do. I want to cuddle with Joe more, and be around him more. But no, I have to fuck everything up. Just...fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
FUCK.
I am such a bad person.
For the first time in probably over a year, life was throwing me the best of things. There's a love interest, a job, money, everything I could wish for. And what happens?
A love-struck Ryan runs a stop sign and gets a ticket.
Meaning no car.
Meaning no Joe.
Unless, of course, he is to drive here. I hope he does, but you never know.
Realistically, I could say it's Julia's fault, or Becca's fault. But in the end, after whittling everything down, it's only my own. Becca wanted Julia out of the picture so she could get into Pat's pants without trouble. Pat was showing more of an interest to Julia than Becca. I was instructed to take Julia home before we went to the movies. So, I took her home and everything was great. And, head in clouds, WHAM. There's a cop behind me, with his flashers on. I thought I was done for speeding, but I missed the new stopsign they put on 702.
So we did the routine - the license, registration, all of that. And then, the wait. Where everything makes you kind of sick while you think about all of it and you're already sick from not having eaten anything at all for the previous 24 hours. And realising that you're going straight home instead of going back to Towson for your double-date.
And after the cop comes back to the car and hands me a citation instead of letting me off, I begin to cry. So I drive home, tears rolling in my eyes, and park the car. I call my mom, without an answer. I wait in my car for nearly 15 minutes until I realise it's either be inside where I can safely barricade myself, or have to hear her when she gets out of her car.
She phones me back, and I get it over my phone.
I don't know what to do. I want to cuddle with Joe more, and be around him more. But no, I have to fuck everything up. Just...fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
FUCK.
I am such a bad person.