(no subject)
i dont know what it is, but it seems lately all that has been happening to me is i been getting shit on by EVERYONE....i thought me and dillon had it going there for a second i was taking things slow cuz i wanted this to be different i didnt want to jump into things...guess i took things too slow cuz he is talking to someone else right now...and i talked to him about it last night and it just doesnt make sense to me...he tells me he has been hurt so many times and he feels that its his turn to hurt some people but he doesnt want to hurt anyone he has feelings for (being me) and he wants to see how things with this girl will go and she spent the night at his house on his 21st...which i was supposed to do...and im so fucking upset about this because i really care about this kid and this bitch just completely came in and fucked everything up for me...today me and him spent the whole day together, we went to the beach and such...just me and him alone it was great but if things keep going this way im going to get hurt regaurdless...even if he isnt trying to hurt me i can see it turning out that way...and it looks as if this girl only wants him for his money...when they first hung out she was like "so what are you buying me for dinner" and she fucking told him they were going to hang out the other day and he picked her up from work and she told him "i have to go to my other job" basically using him for a ride...and she also asked him to buy her cigarettes...now dillon doesnt smoke and he doesnt like when his girls smoke either...so i dont think her taking all his money and smoking while she does it is going to fly with him...as horrible as this sounds..i hope things dont work out for them because i know he belongs with me...and not some dumb whore...his place is here with me...i know i could treat him the way he wants to be treated and i have so much to offer...i think we're perfect for eachother and i couldnt ask for someone better....but it looks as if my asking doesnt help...cuz i dont think we will be together...unfortunately...im left once again the pushover, the last resort...and might i add this girl is UGLY?!blah whatever goodnight...