Life Lessons For Hunter : Love
I tell Hunter all the time that my job is to help him be the best grown up he can possibly be. A lot of the time that means teaching manners, social expectations, etc. But sometimes I teach him the complicated stuff. The stuff that most people don't learn till they're adults, if ever.
For instance, a couple of weeks ago, Hunter was asking me a question about if I'd removed particular songs from his play list (those songs should be a separate LJ post). He only got about half the sentence out before he got distracted and lost his place, but I knew what he was going to ask, and answered the question. This just blew his mind. How on earth could I know what he was going to say without him saying it?? I told to him that because I spend so much time with him, I understand how he thinks, and can fill in the blanks, or translate his misspeaks. Then I went a little further and said that it was also because I loved him.
I explained to him that one of the ways that I show love is by learning all the little things that are important to the person I love. Like I know his ideal lunch is pot stickers, frozen veggies (still frozen), olives, and still frozen blue berries. I know he doesn't like cows because their loud mooing upsets him. Royal blue is his favorite color but when it comes to socks he's all about red, and that until recently when he was tucked in for a nap he needed his auntie Liz blanket to be color side up.
After he pondered this for a while we went on to list the things that his mom and dad do that show that they love him. I then told him people all have different ways to show love, and that it's important to see that for two reasons. It'll make it easier to recognize other people's language even though it's different from his, and it will also make it so he can mimic it back. The real trick to relationships is to mix your language of love with the language that your partner speaks.
And yes I know this is a complex concept to be explaining to a 4.5 year old. I didn't really expect him to grasp it. I just wanted to plant the seed. But then a couple of days later, we were playing a game together. He set up the board, then very pointedly put the red playing piece (my favorite color) in front of me, smiled, and said "I love you". Sometimes that kid is so sweet, it's just heartbreaking.
For instance, a couple of weeks ago, Hunter was asking me a question about if I'd removed particular songs from his play list (those songs should be a separate LJ post). He only got about half the sentence out before he got distracted and lost his place, but I knew what he was going to ask, and answered the question. This just blew his mind. How on earth could I know what he was going to say without him saying it?? I told to him that because I spend so much time with him, I understand how he thinks, and can fill in the blanks, or translate his misspeaks. Then I went a little further and said that it was also because I loved him.
I explained to him that one of the ways that I show love is by learning all the little things that are important to the person I love. Like I know his ideal lunch is pot stickers, frozen veggies (still frozen), olives, and still frozen blue berries. I know he doesn't like cows because their loud mooing upsets him. Royal blue is his favorite color but when it comes to socks he's all about red, and that until recently when he was tucked in for a nap he needed his auntie Liz blanket to be color side up.
After he pondered this for a while we went on to list the things that his mom and dad do that show that they love him. I then told him people all have different ways to show love, and that it's important to see that for two reasons. It'll make it easier to recognize other people's language even though it's different from his, and it will also make it so he can mimic it back. The real trick to relationships is to mix your language of love with the language that your partner speaks.
And yes I know this is a complex concept to be explaining to a 4.5 year old. I didn't really expect him to grasp it. I just wanted to plant the seed. But then a couple of days later, we were playing a game together. He set up the board, then very pointedly put the red playing piece (my favorite color) in front of me, smiled, and said "I love you". Sometimes that kid is so sweet, it's just heartbreaking.