(no subject)
Things should be so easy but I always try to make them HAAARDDD!!!
I realize that as time goes on it passes by so quickly. No time to be in places or situations that you don't like. But I also realize that being in situations that are comfortable are a waste and the only good way to spend time is with faces that make you uncomfortable, try to understand why, learn from it and move on. I love mild discomfort. And as much as I am usually right and like hearing that I am, even more than that I love to be proven wrong. Because it is from those things thhat I KNOW in my head should be one way, and to later see that I was wrong all along makes my heart warm and my eyes puffy and those are the things I never forget. I feel like I enter situations with these molded models of how they will look and press the play button or fast forward through how I think they should go and I spend time thinking of scenarios, but always, as soon as I show up, none of that stuff is anywhere filed or able to be accessed and I think about all the time that stuff took up valuable ad space in my mind and the whole time I was somewhere, when thinking about those things I was somewhere else and all that time was wasted and my whole brain was wasted for a time and one day I think this thing is gonna rot and ooze out onto my pillow and the laundry soap my mom makes just wont be able to clean the oily metallic stain from my leopard print bed sheets that have been in place for way to long. Probably nearly 10 years of this skin.
PS to all you appeasers, please never text me :) and nothing else, I will always send it back, and you will never understand that I don't mean :) back, I mean "take it back, I don't want it"
I realize that as time goes on it passes by so quickly. No time to be in places or situations that you don't like. But I also realize that being in situations that are comfortable are a waste and the only good way to spend time is with faces that make you uncomfortable, try to understand why, learn from it and move on. I love mild discomfort. And as much as I am usually right and like hearing that I am, even more than that I love to be proven wrong. Because it is from those things thhat I KNOW in my head should be one way, and to later see that I was wrong all along makes my heart warm and my eyes puffy and those are the things I never forget. I feel like I enter situations with these molded models of how they will look and press the play button or fast forward through how I think they should go and I spend time thinking of scenarios, but always, as soon as I show up, none of that stuff is anywhere filed or able to be accessed and I think about all the time that stuff took up valuable ad space in my mind and the whole time I was somewhere, when thinking about those things I was somewhere else and all that time was wasted and my whole brain was wasted for a time and one day I think this thing is gonna rot and ooze out onto my pillow and the laundry soap my mom makes just wont be able to clean the oily metallic stain from my leopard print bed sheets that have been in place for way to long. Probably nearly 10 years of this skin.
PS to all you appeasers, please never text me :) and nothing else, I will always send it back, and you will never understand that I don't mean :) back, I mean "take it back, I don't want it"