(no subject)
I've been roped into updating.
Not really actually.
So, how am i today?
I don't know ask Riddy. It's him who has to put up with it.
I don't really know what to say at all.
I'm just a bit lost. My dad phoned me last night. And he talked about stuff then just said how well i was coping with everything.
I was like 'whaaat'.
Am i that good an actor.
Who knows.
I know I'm not coping.
And it's gonna get a hell of a lot harder.
The move is in 3 weeks or so. Woopee.
*sits for 5 minutes whilst trying to think of stuff to say*.
Okay. So if i let you inside my head you cant judge me and tell me i'm stupid or that what i'm feeling is stupid. I know it is. I know that doing something stupid isnt the right thing to do. It's just the easy way out. Or is it? I dont think it can be easy to do it. Brave is what it is. Anyways. I feel like for the past year I've watched my family fall down. And all i've tried to do is keep us afloat so to speak. So now i feel like i should just drown too. I've given up. You know that way where you play dumb. You pretend that your legs, arms and head have turned to jelly and you start to fall, just as a joke, just to see who'll catch you. Well thats how i feel every day. Though it's not pretend.
And thats why I dont tell many people. How can i? Im not pretending.
I dont lie.
To anyone else but myself.
I'm gona take a walk soon.
Clear my head.
Started to take down my posters today.
Parts of my room look kinda bare and empty.
Sorta makes me sad.
The sun is shining right on the Pc
and i cannot see what im typing
so exuse the typos.
adios
Not really actually.
So, how am i today?
I don't know ask Riddy. It's him who has to put up with it.
I don't really know what to say at all.
I'm just a bit lost. My dad phoned me last night. And he talked about stuff then just said how well i was coping with everything.
I was like 'whaaat'.
Am i that good an actor.
Who knows.
I know I'm not coping.
And it's gonna get a hell of a lot harder.
The move is in 3 weeks or so. Woopee.
*sits for 5 minutes whilst trying to think of stuff to say*.
Okay. So if i let you inside my head you cant judge me and tell me i'm stupid or that what i'm feeling is stupid. I know it is. I know that doing something stupid isnt the right thing to do. It's just the easy way out. Or is it? I dont think it can be easy to do it. Brave is what it is. Anyways. I feel like for the past year I've watched my family fall down. And all i've tried to do is keep us afloat so to speak. So now i feel like i should just drown too. I've given up. You know that way where you play dumb. You pretend that your legs, arms and head have turned to jelly and you start to fall, just as a joke, just to see who'll catch you. Well thats how i feel every day. Though it's not pretend.
And thats why I dont tell many people. How can i? Im not pretending.
I dont lie.
To anyone else but myself.
I'm gona take a walk soon.
Clear my head.
Started to take down my posters today.
Parts of my room look kinda bare and empty.
Sorta makes me sad.
The sun is shining right on the Pc
and i cannot see what im typing
so exuse the typos.
adios