(no subject)
i dont get it, the day starts off awsome, im happy as hell, i give out my gifts and people are ooo soooo happy, but when i realize that im not happy because i just failed a quiz in science, its the last week of the marking period, and im .4 points over failing and i have a final test tomorrow on shit i dont know scares the hell outta me. i dont feel like myself anymore, i dont feel like there is a soul embeded in this body, its just on object walking about and pretending to exist, there is no feelings anymore, the only feeling i have is sorrow. i also feel this pain by seeing myself in the mirror and seeng her, that one girl that can make me smile even when im feeling like absolute shiza, the one who always cares, that one girl that i cannot get out of my head. the concert went well, i had to leave early due to an extremely tierd father. im not looking foreward to tomorrow, i dont know what it may bring, and i fear what i shall bring. i fear to much, and im actually kinda pissed about tonight. i left all my stuff up and ready to go, trumpet on the stand, music out on my case, and the mute right next to the trumpet, we leave and sit down to watch the chorus, it finished and i help josh clean up the speakers, come back, trumpet is lying down over my case with the mouthpiece in the finger hole, music spread on the floor, and mute about the floor as well, some effin jerk played it before i got back. i hate people, i hate my life, i hate myself, i just about hate everything except my friends, and partially my family, sadly enough, they are the only things keeping me alive.
Trav
Trav