(no subject)
I'm not sure how I feel these days because so much bad stuff can easily be overcome by the good... but it's like... little things in my life that bother me so much sometimes...
For example, one of my friends is trying to be someone he is not... in fact, he is trying to be the exact replica of another one of our friends...
and I don't understand. I understand not wanting to be yourself [[trust me, been there, done that]]... but why try and be someone else? What is the point...? Especially when everyone can tell you are trying to be that person...
I'm not so sure that I like who he is trying to become... only because it is not him... and he is normally a great, kind-hearted person...
Another friend is in "popular mode". Maybe she'll get over it, and maybe she won't... but in any case... she isn't being very considerate of some people's feelings...
I also am trying to learn how to spread myself out more... I just don't want to do it too thin.
I have a lot of important people in my life to think about and neglecting them makes me feel horrible.
I miss hanging out with Megan, Tyler, and Lynea... then there's Ashlee, my bestest friend in the whole world who i love to death and see whenever I have time... and Phil who is one of my closest guy friends cuz we talk about like everything... even stuff i don't necessarily want to talk about... and Kaelin who I go to Starbucks with just to talk... and of courseeeee CASSIE... I miss her like crazy... she's in Simi so it's harder to see her... but I want to.
It's just sad because I want so badly to be a good friend to these people... cuz they deserve it.
I have been hanging out the random times I haven't been sick --- as I've been sick for almost 3 weeks now --- and I've enjoyed myself immensly.
Times fade and blur and mix.
MaxMelCathAshtonAshleeChrisMaeganJoseNickBryceBrittKevinKelseyRora
and whoever else
Me and Megan needa hang out again and tie dye our underwares lol
I came to the conclusion while hanging out with him (NF) that ... popular people ... are quiet ... they have absolutely nothing to say ... i mean, he always says "hi" to me... and maybe a small blurb of something... but beyond that car... what is he?
I don't know... I like where I am... socially... if you like me, you like me, if you don't...that's cool... I'm sure there are PLENTY of you.
In other news --- still dealing with the issue that is myself. My body. ew. yeah... I've messed it up pretty bad this time... only to suffer consequences that make me cringe while looking into the mirror.
And... my birthday is in 9 days... I am fucking finally turning 17... TOOK LONG ENOUGH.
At least I'll be Max's age for like... a month... lol
So - I have the SAT's soon... that's why I'm up... otherwise... Zzzzzzz
Chem and US History --- fuuuuuuuck me :-/
Summer is almost here and I lack a job...
Whole Foods sounds pretty good.
NEVER EVER GOING BACK TO MACY*S...
here's a big FUUUUCK you.
so yeah... prom came and went... was amaaaaazing.
school fades to black. THANK GOD.
Max got me the new Fall Out Boy cd for my birthday early cuz he didn't want anyone else to get it for me. lol
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE LOOOOOOOOOOOVE him.
Yeah I know it sounds stupid --- I'm 17... what do I know, right? Buuuut I've known him since I was 12 and he's been a friend and a boyfriend and he's been there for me whenever I've needed him and he's the best and he's wonderful and he's been taking care of me while I'm sick and I'm just likeeeeee AWWWWWWWW <3<3<3<3<3
I'm all warm and fuzzy inside =]
Bex and Zoe came out... and it was woooonderful. and we wen't to the farmer's market and me and zoe played... I love being "Auntie Y-exi" awww
They'll be back.
Yesssssssssssssssssssss
Anyways --- Gotta get going for my torturous pain that is the SAT 2
lord help me.