(no subject)
Proceed with caution. This is me just talking about shit. Probably sounds worse than it actually is. Just want to get it out of my system once.
I have been thinking, it pops up in my mind quite regularly actually...I have been worrying that no matter how...meh...my life is now, it’ll only get worse. So, what is now, is nothing compared to what is to come.
My grandma, ma mum’s mum, lived till her mid-90s. I don’t know if my mum will make it to that age. Of course, I don’t know how long I’ll live either. But chances are that there’ll be a time in the future when my mum will be gone and I’ll be completely alone.
Now, you could say what’s it matter? Because at the end of the day, hardly anything does. You just adapt from being alone to being completely alone. *shrugs*
I’m not the brightest person. Confront me with financial stuff or insurance stuff or any kinda official stuff and my brain shuts down. I understand very little. I still need help with a lot of shit but I guess, there’re a lot of stupid people in the world who get by somehow. So, in one way or another it’ll probably work out. But as you’re getting older yourself, you’ll need more and more help, probably even with mundane stuff...huh...yeah, the future is not looking too bright. So, compared to that this here is a walk in the park. Absolutely bearable at the end of the day.
Funny thing is that my mum and dad and I, we’re, like, three people who’d never voluntarily choose to spend even a minute in each other’s company or talk to each other for more than a minute if we weren’t family.
I can’t even say that my mum’s my best friend or anything. We do not think or feel alike at all. We are not on the same wavelength. In different universes, more like. She loves me because I am her child. I am emotionally attached to her because she’s my mother. If we were strangers, no way we’d ever spend time together.
So, in conclusion, the future doesn’t look too bright. A couple of years ago, I even told my mum she should be happy for me if I died before her.
I have been thinking, it pops up in my mind quite regularly actually...I have been worrying that no matter how...meh...my life is now, it’ll only get worse. So, what is now, is nothing compared to what is to come.
My grandma, ma mum’s mum, lived till her mid-90s. I don’t know if my mum will make it to that age. Of course, I don’t know how long I’ll live either. But chances are that there’ll be a time in the future when my mum will be gone and I’ll be completely alone.
Now, you could say what’s it matter? Because at the end of the day, hardly anything does. You just adapt from being alone to being completely alone. *shrugs*
I’m not the brightest person. Confront me with financial stuff or insurance stuff or any kinda official stuff and my brain shuts down. I understand very little. I still need help with a lot of shit but I guess, there’re a lot of stupid people in the world who get by somehow. So, in one way or another it’ll probably work out. But as you’re getting older yourself, you’ll need more and more help, probably even with mundane stuff...huh...yeah, the future is not looking too bright. So, compared to that this here is a walk in the park. Absolutely bearable at the end of the day.
Funny thing is that my mum and dad and I, we’re, like, three people who’d never voluntarily choose to spend even a minute in each other’s company or talk to each other for more than a minute if we weren’t family.
I can’t even say that my mum’s my best friend or anything. We do not think or feel alike at all. We are not on the same wavelength. In different universes, more like. She loves me because I am her child. I am emotionally attached to her because she’s my mother. If we were strangers, no way we’d ever spend time together.
So, in conclusion, the future doesn’t look too bright. A couple of years ago, I even told my mum she should be happy for me if I died before her.