READ THIS.
Originally, I wasn't to going to even mention this to anyone that didn't already know, but I figured word would have gotten out anyway, so I decided I might as well just type this up to save explanations to at least a few people.
Also, I wanted to show Sara Glass that things could be worse, having read her last few journal entries.
Let me start off this story by saying this was the worst experience of my life. Nothing, NOTHING about this was good.
I met up with Jake and Ryan after Homewood Days at Caribou. At about 11:05, I started walking back to my car to go home for a bit and tell my mom what was going on so I could leave again. I walked down 183rd street and turned onto Cowing, Brent's street, which is whose house I was parked at. So, I walk down the street, glance down a sidestreet, and only about 100 feet when I see four black guys. One is kind of built and average height, two are tall and thin, and one is shorter and pudgy. The two tall thin guys were fighting.
So, what does my dumbass, heroic, impulsive self do? Why, I go over and try to break up the fight. As I break it up, one of the fighters hits me in the back of the head. I turn around and jack him in the face. He goes down. They stopped fighting and just looked at me. I said "there are cops all around. You guys shouldn't be fighting 'cause you'll all get arrested." I walk away towards my car. I turn back onto to Cowing, continue to walk for a little bit towards my car, and I hear sets of feet running. I turn around and I see the four black guys running at me.
Now, its no secret that black guys are naturally fast. I know this. So, I don't even bother to run. I just stand there and wait for them to come. The semi-built guy walks briskly towards me after they stop running and shoves me as he says "stay out of our fucking business, white boy." I proceed to shove him back, and before I even realize it happened, he punched me in the face, right in my lip.
This fight, to the normal viewer, should have been entirely one sided. Regardless of my size, I should have gone down, no problem. But, for those of you who have been in a life threatening situation, you feel something. For me, everything fell dead silent and time itself slowed down. The built guy jumps at me and starts to wail on me. I punched him in the throat and he fell. He layed there, choking on his own windpipe.
One tall skinny guy jumped on me and started kicking me. I shoved him away and faked a punch to his face, but then did an uppercut to his jaw, all while his friends are punching me in the back and the back of the head. His head flew back and I stuck my knee in his stomach, and when he still didn't go down, I grabbed his chin with one hand and the side of his head with my other, and threw him on the ground. The way I threw him was horrifying. It appeared as though I had snapped his neck like a twig. The poor boy fell to the ground like a ragdoll. It was as if he had no bones, no muscles, nothing. He fell like a sack of bricks and laid on the ground.
The fat guy comes at me, and I just punched him in the face a few times. The fat guy went down after I kicked him in the legs and hammer fisted his head, and I turned around and grabbed the last guy around the chest. I hoisted him up and started to headbutt him in the nose. I must have hit him 10 times, 'cause when I let go, he fell on the ground and began to scream.
After this happened, I took a look at the ground. Sound had returned to my ears and time sped back to its normal pace. I was standing in the middle of a pool of fallen men, three of which were screaming or crying. The last, however, did nothing.
I got to my car and drove home. I kept forgetting where I was going and what I was doing. I think I am concussed a little from getting punched in the back of the head. I explained this story to my mom, then went in the bathroom. I washed the blood off my lip and forehead (from headbutting), then found a huge scratch on my left arm. I guess one had a ring or nails or something. Anyway, it was only after I explained this to my mom did I realize what happened.
The second guy, the one that wasn't moving, died. I came to realize when I threw him down, I broke his neck. It snapped like a twig under a car, and he had died. For the rest of the night, I sat there just thinking about how horrible a person I was. This boy... this man... this human... died. And I killed him.
I kept thinking about my brother... he had a similar experience. I'm not supposed to say anything about that though. All I can say is that his kid is alive.
Regardless, this was the worst feeling I have ever had in my entire life. No physical pain even came close to a fraction of what I felt. No death ever made me feel this way, no girl having turned me down or broken up with me, nothing. To describe this pain and anguish is impossible. I think only my brother can understand this. Well, at least as far as my audience goes.
I wasn't even worried about myself. I was worried about that guy. All the things he would miss out on... all the pain his family would go through... all the therapy his friends would have since they watched their friend get his neck snapped... I only thought about him, and what a horrible person I truly was.
After I realized this, I remember I was in my car at Emma's house. I just remember flashes of myself screaming and driving in bits and pieces, and I even think I threw up, then I finally remember asking Jake to do something for me. I had to find out if that human being had passed on by my hand. I asked him to go check the site where it happened.
While I waited it felt like an eternity. I just sat there and waited. Waited... waited... waited... Jake finally came back, and he gave me the news. There was no one there. They were fine (kind of). There was no police tape, there were no ambulances, there was nothing. Those four guys left, maybe they went home, maybe they went to the emergency room. All I know is that Jake gave me the best news of my entire life.
I DID NOT KILL A MAN.
Hearing this was like washing my mind free of flith. I still feel bad about what I did to those four guys, but I do know they are okay. They aren't dead or seriously injured.
You have no idea the horrors that I felt, and the relief that went through my body. Nothing can compare to this.
This was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
I just feel like a monster. The fact that tear didn't even go down my face makes me fell worse.
Also, I wanted to show Sara Glass that things could be worse, having read her last few journal entries.
Let me start off this story by saying this was the worst experience of my life. Nothing, NOTHING about this was good.
I met up with Jake and Ryan after Homewood Days at Caribou. At about 11:05, I started walking back to my car to go home for a bit and tell my mom what was going on so I could leave again. I walked down 183rd street and turned onto Cowing, Brent's street, which is whose house I was parked at. So, I walk down the street, glance down a sidestreet, and only about 100 feet when I see four black guys. One is kind of built and average height, two are tall and thin, and one is shorter and pudgy. The two tall thin guys were fighting.
So, what does my dumbass, heroic, impulsive self do? Why, I go over and try to break up the fight. As I break it up, one of the fighters hits me in the back of the head. I turn around and jack him in the face. He goes down. They stopped fighting and just looked at me. I said "there are cops all around. You guys shouldn't be fighting 'cause you'll all get arrested." I walk away towards my car. I turn back onto to Cowing, continue to walk for a little bit towards my car, and I hear sets of feet running. I turn around and I see the four black guys running at me.
Now, its no secret that black guys are naturally fast. I know this. So, I don't even bother to run. I just stand there and wait for them to come. The semi-built guy walks briskly towards me after they stop running and shoves me as he says "stay out of our fucking business, white boy." I proceed to shove him back, and before I even realize it happened, he punched me in the face, right in my lip.
This fight, to the normal viewer, should have been entirely one sided. Regardless of my size, I should have gone down, no problem. But, for those of you who have been in a life threatening situation, you feel something. For me, everything fell dead silent and time itself slowed down. The built guy jumps at me and starts to wail on me. I punched him in the throat and he fell. He layed there, choking on his own windpipe.
One tall skinny guy jumped on me and started kicking me. I shoved him away and faked a punch to his face, but then did an uppercut to his jaw, all while his friends are punching me in the back and the back of the head. His head flew back and I stuck my knee in his stomach, and when he still didn't go down, I grabbed his chin with one hand and the side of his head with my other, and threw him on the ground. The way I threw him was horrifying. It appeared as though I had snapped his neck like a twig. The poor boy fell to the ground like a ragdoll. It was as if he had no bones, no muscles, nothing. He fell like a sack of bricks and laid on the ground.
The fat guy comes at me, and I just punched him in the face a few times. The fat guy went down after I kicked him in the legs and hammer fisted his head, and I turned around and grabbed the last guy around the chest. I hoisted him up and started to headbutt him in the nose. I must have hit him 10 times, 'cause when I let go, he fell on the ground and began to scream.
After this happened, I took a look at the ground. Sound had returned to my ears and time sped back to its normal pace. I was standing in the middle of a pool of fallen men, three of which were screaming or crying. The last, however, did nothing.
I got to my car and drove home. I kept forgetting where I was going and what I was doing. I think I am concussed a little from getting punched in the back of the head. I explained this story to my mom, then went in the bathroom. I washed the blood off my lip and forehead (from headbutting), then found a huge scratch on my left arm. I guess one had a ring or nails or something. Anyway, it was only after I explained this to my mom did I realize what happened.
The second guy, the one that wasn't moving, died. I came to realize when I threw him down, I broke his neck. It snapped like a twig under a car, and he had died. For the rest of the night, I sat there just thinking about how horrible a person I was. This boy... this man... this human... died. And I killed him.
I kept thinking about my brother... he had a similar experience. I'm not supposed to say anything about that though. All I can say is that his kid is alive.
Regardless, this was the worst feeling I have ever had in my entire life. No physical pain even came close to a fraction of what I felt. No death ever made me feel this way, no girl having turned me down or broken up with me, nothing. To describe this pain and anguish is impossible. I think only my brother can understand this. Well, at least as far as my audience goes.
I wasn't even worried about myself. I was worried about that guy. All the things he would miss out on... all the pain his family would go through... all the therapy his friends would have since they watched their friend get his neck snapped... I only thought about him, and what a horrible person I truly was.
After I realized this, I remember I was in my car at Emma's house. I just remember flashes of myself screaming and driving in bits and pieces, and I even think I threw up, then I finally remember asking Jake to do something for me. I had to find out if that human being had passed on by my hand. I asked him to go check the site where it happened.
While I waited it felt like an eternity. I just sat there and waited. Waited... waited... waited... Jake finally came back, and he gave me the news. There was no one there. They were fine (kind of). There was no police tape, there were no ambulances, there was nothing. Those four guys left, maybe they went home, maybe they went to the emergency room. All I know is that Jake gave me the best news of my entire life.
I DID NOT KILL A MAN.
Hearing this was like washing my mind free of flith. I still feel bad about what I did to those four guys, but I do know they are okay. They aren't dead or seriously injured.
You have no idea the horrors that I felt, and the relief that went through my body. Nothing can compare to this.
This was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
I just feel like a monster. The fact that tear didn't even go down my face makes me fell worse.