I've gotten drunk more this summer so far than in my entire life.
Man... fuck this shit....
Today, I get woken up by Phil and he comes over. Bitch... anwyway, I gave him a ride... and fucking shit! I hit my sister's damn car. The dumb bitch parks 8 feet too far from both the hooyse and the side, and I;m driving a big ass Suburban, which is not where I'm used to her being. Additionally, I am used to my contacts, and I never noticed before, but my glasses make things 20% thinner and about 5% shorter, which fucks me up when I wear them. In short, her car looked about 4 feet away, and I hit it while backing up. Wonderful.
So, I got bitched at for a shitload, then later went to Brent's. It was fun, but later on....I got pulled over. Fuck you cops. 70 in a 45 is fine. Assholes... so I got a $105 ticket and traffic school for that shit.
Later, about 20 minutes ago, I go to take out my contacts, and I lost the right one. I looked all over the floor, and the toilet seat, and the sink and shit (not literally). I finally go and get a flashlight and look everywhere for it. Can't find it after about 20 minutes... but what's this? Why does my eye hurt... hmmm... AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? IT BURNS WITH THE HEAT OF 10,000 SUNS! WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD?!?!? What, my contact is in my eye? Wonderful... what can I use to get this out? Fingers are too big... FORK! YES! I'LL USE A FORK! I broke the prong off a plastic fork and grabbed the contact with it and pulled the damn thing from on top of my eye. My eye is blood red. The whole damn thing.
Argh... booze will calm me.
Fuck off.
Today, I get woken up by Phil and he comes over. Bitch... anwyway, I gave him a ride... and fucking shit! I hit my sister's damn car. The dumb bitch parks 8 feet too far from both the hooyse and the side, and I;m driving a big ass Suburban, which is not where I'm used to her being. Additionally, I am used to my contacts, and I never noticed before, but my glasses make things 20% thinner and about 5% shorter, which fucks me up when I wear them. In short, her car looked about 4 feet away, and I hit it while backing up. Wonderful.
So, I got bitched at for a shitload, then later went to Brent's. It was fun, but later on....I got pulled over. Fuck you cops. 70 in a 45 is fine. Assholes... so I got a $105 ticket and traffic school for that shit.
Later, about 20 minutes ago, I go to take out my contacts, and I lost the right one. I looked all over the floor, and the toilet seat, and the sink and shit (not literally). I finally go and get a flashlight and look everywhere for it. Can't find it after about 20 minutes... but what's this? Why does my eye hurt... hmmm... AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? IT BURNS WITH THE HEAT OF 10,000 SUNS! WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD?!?!? What, my contact is in my eye? Wonderful... what can I use to get this out? Fingers are too big... FORK! YES! I'LL USE A FORK! I broke the prong off a plastic fork and grabbed the contact with it and pulled the damn thing from on top of my eye. My eye is blood red. The whole damn thing.
Argh... booze will calm me.
Fuck off.