And when you wake ...
I had a very, very strange ... "nightmare" last night. I think I'll post what I wrote about it when I woke up actually. For no real reason other than that it interested me, and if you are interested in imaginings then it might just interest you. I wrote it up as it was really quite vivid and it had an interesting "aftereffect" too.
Anywayz I've been "having troubles" with Wanderlust. I think maybe because last holiday Oliver took me up to Norfolk during the very first week, and then a little later I went off to Nottingham and then there were essays to do and exams to prepare for ... Still I've been longing to go somewhere, anywhere really although for some reason I really want to go by boat or by plane. Preferably I want to see things from the sides of a ship of some kind, speeding over the waters where the air is cold but so refreshing it's completely bearable, and travelling past mountains, or stopping and pausing to climb them, hiking for a while with a group of friends, or going to see Waterfalls, or travelling through towns and countries where English is not the major language spoken around you and so on and so on. Part of this is probably caused by having been rewatching Pole to Pole with my dad lately. It's interesting because I really do like the sound of Michael Palin's voice. It's grown on me muchly although it's not quite as fun as Willie Rushton's voice. A fave of mine nevertheless. Heh. *Is strange and knows it*
Its quite interesting (for me anywayz) to think about the causes of wanderlust. Is it pent up frustration at the limits of things in ordinary life, or is it the need to be free, or the desire to push beyond one's personal boundaries, or to experience things that are strange by the standards of what we are used to, or something to do so we aren't thinking about money or "reality", or possibly its some crazy attempt to feel grateful for what we have as a constant, or maybe its just one perpetual escape? Or all of these things perhaps? I suprise myself in wanting to travel, as I like my luxury and comfort (like most Taureans apparently) but ... Travel broadens the mind. I believe that, and its great for inspiration too. I don't know many things and I'm terribly ignorant in a lot of ways, but, I like to see new things, like gardens and nature especially.
... Meh. It'll be better when I have a job and move up to Egham again. I will have a job over the summer I've decided. And no silly "unemployer" is going to prevent me. I have a CV and I'm not afraid to force feed it to them! Mwa ha ha! ; )
Oh and our front door has been fixed. This is good and Giles is having his work experience at the Garden Centre and a couple of guys tried to steal a strimmer or something, worth £400. They were caught though (not through Giles' efforts however). Apparently the last of one of their phone numbers? 118118 "I've got your number mate!" Pure classic. Straight into the comic book with you! ^_^
Back to the dream ... I’m tempted to say that it was a nightmare, but it didn’t quite have that, “ Oh gosh I’m so glad I’m awake and out of that feeling” which is rather odd, considering it was full of death and killing and so on …
It was doubly a strange dream though because I was me in some parts of it, when I was in a house with Giles (seemingly my one and only sibling) this acted like an interlude, or semi pauses in “the game” but then at other times I was someone else. Maybe that’s why it wasn’t such a bad dream, as I “knew” it was a game of sorts although as the dream went on it became more “real.” It is always hard for me to explain my stranger dreams! Anywayz in these interludes in my house (it was just like my house in some ways except that at the same time it had a top floor which seemed to be a relic of former times, attached to some antique shop and I live in a plain bungalow) oh and we had a huge swimming pool in the garden which naturally wouldn’t have fit in our own garden … Giles and I had … pets. First there were two fish. There were at certain points more than two. When I was two people at once, both me and the guy, I remember seeing through the guy’s eyes, that I (me, me) was picking up two quite large carp and putting them into their goldfish bowl, as well as a baby manta ray it looked like. Later we were given a dog in the next break from the levels. And in the next I was given a horse, which I rode into the swimming pool as I was being chased by people trying to kill me at this point. This was the beginning of when the game began taking over reality, although I was still two people. Anywayz the horse jumped into the middle of the pool and I got off and unbuckled the saddle to enable it to swim more freely and I told it to get away and that I’d meet it later when it was safe for him. Sadly I never saw the horse again, because apparently the ant eater/aardvark thing ate it, the last (and in my case least loved and positively disliked pet since it ate both the dog and the horse and almost got the fish except I managed to steer it towards something else instead … I think if I remember it was a fur rug …) But I swear it gave me a calculating look, deciding whether to eat me or not. I could see the thoughts in its mind quite clearly at that point … Although as a vague sliver of humour I remember my father was trying to think of what else we could possibly feed this animal until he came up with the wonderful idea … Nose hair. There should be loads down the drain. And off went the creature to become a vacuum … If anything that was the creepiest part of the whole dream that pet … And everyone else in the family seemed to love it and accept that it had eaten some of our other animals … Even if they did seem a little scared of it …
Anywayz to be out of sequence I’ll try and explain the double character thing a bit more. It was like a role play game in a way, I was the character during the times I was “playing”, to start with at least. He was quite tall, his hair was a reddish colour that best described was a bit like Yazoo from Advent Children. His eyes were the same reddish brown colour as his hair to begin with, but later they took on the same blue as my own. He/I was wearing one of the typical outfits that you’d expect when entering a Final Fantasy game … However this was no fantasy adventure …
Here is when my memory goes a bit murky. I remember an awful lot of details, but some parts of the dream inevitably got lost, or possibly in the unquestioning reality of the dream state, never even happened. This guy was meant to go and kill people, but at the same time it was like a double mission, where the “secret” sub plot allowed you to be a “hero” rather than an “anti-hero”. So for the first “level” it was walking into an old couple’s home and finding the ancient sword that they had stolen from your shop. Oh something I should mention, to make the game harder, until you’ve beaten their level, everyone of that level will try to kill you. So I had the old woman wielding a knife at me as I ran off into the attic, trying to avoid killing them. Then she did some explaining like in all good stories, I was the heir to the legacy of some great hero and I should take the sword and fulfil my destiny. (Queue the first and second break) If there was another level here I can’t remember it. Just that there had been one which I’d completed and I had got the secret item. (Please don’t laugh but it was a can of sacred baked beans … >_< To be fair during the game it was totally serious. It was only when I woke up and started thinking it all through ~ Ouch. You are NOT going to be a respected hero with your sacred beans y’know. : D ) Anywayz there was a battlefield scene where I had managed to get a whole army following me. Scots I think, although I’ve possibly got my armies mixed up in my head. From around the end of the Roman Empire wearing kilts and blue battle paint. Probably a mixture of the two actually … Anywayz this was where the “game” and “reality” collided properly, as it was the warriors chasing me as I rode my horse.
Then I (as the hero) went a bit ballistic because the next level was kill your family. (This was in the game bit again, after the pool incident) So I went around to my “House” (the road of which was very like Elmbank Avenue in Englefield Green) went inside and started yelling, but they calmed me down and talked to me and my character was just feeling good and happy, when they pulled the knives on him. This was as I’m sure you’ll be surprised a little distressing for him/me. So I started the level from the beginning, found my dad (who looked scarily like an older version of Nick (V’s brother) and started throwing things at him, and then running into the house, the kitchen of which had now merged with the “real” one, grabbed a flipping great carving knife that is always so helpfully available to those needing to get armed quickly, and ran off to go and be angry and stab family members. All of whom (mother and little sister, a bit younger than Lily, very skinny and with long blonde hair wielding a carving knife) turned out to be in the showers. Yes there was a large shower room with a shower unit in both corners. Anywayz they both had knives (when they came out of the showers) and I couldn’t bring myself to kill family, so I ran away down the suddenly Victorian London streets and up onto a horse drawn carriage pretending to be the driver as my “mother” (Far too young looking to be the mother of a 20 year old, again with long blonde hair) was suddenly dressed in a full set of modern clothes ran down the street past me. A blue vest top with an open darker blue jumper/cardi, and loose white pedal pushers and sandals (craziness as it was just beginning to spit with rain, oh and she was dry now.) The guy next to me on the carriage (who just appeared out of nowhere) turned out to be some kind of guide. The story was that because time’s were clashing, it was driving normal, sane people mad, like my family, and as the hero that legends had spoken of, I must put it right. I didn’t get the chance to though as this was about the time the ant eater entered the scene at home.
It was weird though .. as the Ant eater gave me a last look, I was the “hero” again … I bet it would have been a boss later on. Anywayz I woke up as the guy … Gosh I wish I knew how to explain things better, how to get ... Some of the feelings down in words. It was quite ... Emotional at points, quite ... Sharp. Gah. *Gives up*
Have you ever dreamt your someone else and woken up and for a little while, you feel different, then you'll breathe in too hard, or roll over, or move to get out of bed and it'll be gone before you can acknowledge it? I had a bit of that this morning, I felt much lighter, leaner and fitter, my hair and chest felt different, then my alarm went off and boom, I "came back to myself". True it wasn't as vivid as I've had it before but still. It was ... interesting. Darn I wish I had a good alternative for that word. Intriguing, that'll do. ^^;;;
Right I shall now go and finish that comic. One panel left and its done. Well pencilled anywayz. I will improve, this is another thing that I have decided! Improvisation ... Improve ... Interesting how those words relate to each other ... Anywayz I'll be off hopefully to doodle unless the gamecube distracts me again. Wind Waker is an addictive game, even though I've completed it three times already. Still dragged into it! Oh bit saw Kingdom Hearts for £12 ... Very, very nearly caved in. >_<
You shall have cake