Another Accident...
Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"
July
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying.
Isn't it weird how sometimes, we rely on these things to cheer us up, or, ultimately, tell us about ourselves. I'm amazed at how accurate some can be. Or... at least, how much we're told, which make us believe they're accurate. In any case, I'm astonished at how much I think that fits me.
Well, it's been a long time. In that time, so much has happened, and, everything.. well, no. A lot has stayed the same, or, at least, reoccured. Like my depression, or... whatever you'd like to call it. I gues... that's the main reason for my return to LJ. I'm not expecting it to help me, but at least things feel like they used to, whether that's a good thing or not. I don't feel obligated to post anything that's happened, considering it's the past. But I do feel as though I should say what's been up since my last post. Actually, I'm not all that sure when my last post was. Sometime in August, I think. After my birthday... Ha. My birthday. Since then... I felt like things were actually on the move uphill. When school started up, I was regularly attending school, and my attendeace was "comparable to others'" as one of my teachers put it. But... then, somewhere between getting a(nother) concussion, and breaking my foot, I somehow managed to break my confidence, as well as the trust in others. I had a lot going good, too. A part in the musical, great grades. In fact, ninties, in some classes. And then... it all went down the drain. I felt... the way I felt last time. I... can't explain the feeling, much like.. you can't explain the most delicate of feelings. It's an experience; a bad one, at that. I just... lost it all. Then, because of my attendance, or lack thereof, I lost my part in the musical, which, isn't as bad as it may sound, considering it's a weight off my shoulders. But... my grades are falling, miserably, and I'm still stuck in a downward spiral I can't get out of. I've had advice on a... temporate control. I've had a suggestion on taking a mild anti-depressant, something that I can fall off of, without serious, or any side-affects; something I've a fear of becoming dependant on. And, either seperately, or with the drugs, seeing a psychotherapist. Personally, I think it's a mixture of... bipolar and clinical depression, but... perhaps becomes worse, or triggered by something. I'm not sure, to be honest, but I'm not sure if I wanna do something about it. I mean, sure, I'd love to be better... but I'm not sure if I wanna go through all the... "rehab" to get better. I just don't feel up to it. I know I can get better on my own, but I'm not sure if I wanna get better. Ugh.. it's a weird feeling, but justified, I promise... somehow, by my own messed up morals.
...That's it for tonight. I'm going to bed. If I get up tomorrow morning... I'm going to school...
...If I get up...
July
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying.
Isn't it weird how sometimes, we rely on these things to cheer us up, or, ultimately, tell us about ourselves. I'm amazed at how accurate some can be. Or... at least, how much we're told, which make us believe they're accurate. In any case, I'm astonished at how much I think that fits me.
Well, it's been a long time. In that time, so much has happened, and, everything.. well, no. A lot has stayed the same, or, at least, reoccured. Like my depression, or... whatever you'd like to call it. I gues... that's the main reason for my return to LJ. I'm not expecting it to help me, but at least things feel like they used to, whether that's a good thing or not. I don't feel obligated to post anything that's happened, considering it's the past. But I do feel as though I should say what's been up since my last post. Actually, I'm not all that sure when my last post was. Sometime in August, I think. After my birthday... Ha. My birthday. Since then... I felt like things were actually on the move uphill. When school started up, I was regularly attending school, and my attendeace was "comparable to others'" as one of my teachers put it. But... then, somewhere between getting a(nother) concussion, and breaking my foot, I somehow managed to break my confidence, as well as the trust in others. I had a lot going good, too. A part in the musical, great grades. In fact, ninties, in some classes. And then... it all went down the drain. I felt... the way I felt last time. I... can't explain the feeling, much like.. you can't explain the most delicate of feelings. It's an experience; a bad one, at that. I just... lost it all. Then, because of my attendance, or lack thereof, I lost my part in the musical, which, isn't as bad as it may sound, considering it's a weight off my shoulders. But... my grades are falling, miserably, and I'm still stuck in a downward spiral I can't get out of. I've had advice on a... temporate control. I've had a suggestion on taking a mild anti-depressant, something that I can fall off of, without serious, or any side-affects; something I've a fear of becoming dependant on. And, either seperately, or with the drugs, seeing a psychotherapist. Personally, I think it's a mixture of... bipolar and clinical depression, but... perhaps becomes worse, or triggered by something. I'm not sure, to be honest, but I'm not sure if I wanna do something about it. I mean, sure, I'd love to be better... but I'm not sure if I wanna go through all the... "rehab" to get better. I just don't feel up to it. I know I can get better on my own, but I'm not sure if I wanna get better. Ugh.. it's a weird feeling, but justified, I promise... somehow, by my own messed up morals.
...That's it for tonight. I'm going to bed. If I get up tomorrow morning... I'm going to school...
...If I get up...