I don't know...
It shouldn't bother me so much. But I guess I'm letting it. Just the fact that someone thinks of me as damaged or an awful person, and they can change their opinion of me so drastically in a matter of minutes. Aren't people supposed to learn from their past? How can anyone learn if they're not given the chance
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I feel like a better person as a result of it... I realize that u can't be weak, u just have to be who you're destined to be, be remorseless, and if people don't like it, let them rot! I actually had a good day at work because I learned that whenever you say "oh, I'm not so sure about myself," someone can come up and say "well I'm sure... sure that you're worthless!" And from this day forward I won't make that mistake. I'll let people know I think I'm the shit, and if they wanna come after me they're gonna lose.
Nobody should have power over you, not me, not your friends, not your boyfriends or husbands... I'm lucky in a sense cuz I don't have a net of friends who are gonna pet my head, but you should still take the same lesson out of this as I did. Fuck what people think. There may come a time that you're the only person standing up for yourself, and u gotta know who u are enough to laugh at someone who thinks less of you.
I was gonna continue to be your friend, but others decided that wasn't in your best interests, so it's not gonna happen. My advice to you is to be your own person. You be the one to tell a person to fuck off, and let that be the end of it. If we all lived in the same community, people could have been hurt over all this anger, u know. It's best to just let things go- when someone offends me online, I'm quick to just block em and be done with it.
And I don't keep friends that are gonna go start trouble for me and make decisions for me without my consent. My friends know I'd pop em in the mouth if they confronted someone I had issues with for my sake, without my consent.
So don't go beating yourself up. Listen to all your friends- I'm a jerk. It's true. A total, unabashed, 4th generation jerk. So give me the salute and focus on people who do like u.
PTFO!
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I usually don't care what people think about me. Believe it or not it's true. If I consider someone some random person, they can be as much of an jerk to me as they want, I don't care. But people who I like(d), or consider(ed) a friend, when they say something that hurts my feelings, I will let it bother me. I should have said something to you instead of telling my friends, and letting them say something for me. I just didn't know what to say because it bothered me so much.
You're probably at the point where you just want to drop the whole subject. You don't want to have anything to do with me at all anymore. I just wish that didn't bother me so much.
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I work in a tough place, and people tell it like it is to me. I feel like I'm doing people a favor when I do the same with them, but I forget that people who don't work where I work like to keep things sugar-coated, and they get awfully fierce when people speak their minds. I have people say all kinds of things to me in Town Hall, and it's my responsibility to set them straight (without resorting to such words as "puss" and "loser," by the way). When I deal in HR, I have people apply for public safety positions that have 1st degree robberies on their rap sheets. I'm cynical. I say ruff things on a bad day. I may even pass judgements... god, who doesn't? But I'm sorry it caused you grief... that certainly wasn't my intention.
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i never sugar coat anything. i never have in my life, and never will. but its one thing to tell someone that they're a horrible person b/c of who they have dated, and telling someone that they're just not "your type".
ive told kim many, many times that you were a jerk and to forget about you. b/c if you were going to say the things you did to her, then you didnt deserve her friendship. and although we all said that, she felt horrible. she was upset, and beating herself up over it.
did the person who told you that she was going to come to beat you up right? no, but her heart was in the right place.
you say that you have to "set people straight" without using "negative words". but you used many negative words when explaining things to Kim. telling her that she just isnt your type is one thing. saying its b/c she dated a black guy that went to jail makes her not your type, is another.
im curious. what bothers you more: the fact that she dated a black guy, or the fact that her ex is in jail? would it matter to you if she dated a white guy that went to jail? pure curiousity here.
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So would it have mattered if it were a white dude in jail? Yes. THey don't send ya to jail for running a red light or smoking a joint, or even just giving someone a fat lip- u have to really run contrary to the well-being of the community for that decision to be rendered by a judge or mandated by legislature, and I'm not so into that. The whole race thing just made me feel strangely discriminated against. Not superior, but rather inferior. Does she think black guys are more handsome? Better personalities? Stronger? Bigger dicks? So it added insult to injury. That's all.
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how are YOU discriminated against when a white person wants to date a black person? or visa versa? or change the races...i dont understand how YOU can feel discriminated against, unless you are constantly being turned down, or turned away b/c your not black.
race shouldnt matter. past history shouldnt matter. gender shouldn't matter. thats all superficial b.s. you love someone based on WHO they are, not WHAT they are. its not a matter of if they are better, its a matter of being attracted to their personality, to WHOM they are not WHAT they are. and thats what attracted her to black men...she had more in common with them.
people are people, regardless of what or whom they date. if i date a man, does that make me straight? no. if i date a woman, does that make me gay? no. i'm bisexual, no matter who i date, i will always be bisexual. if i exclusivly date white men, does that make me racist against minority races? no. if i exclusivly date people of other races than my own, does that make me racist against my own race? no. i do not date these people based on creed, or color, or background, or whatever distinguishing features they have, i date what i am attracted to.
i still dont understand how HER preference of what she wants to date adds insult to injury. how does who I (or anyone for that matter) date affect you, unless, of course, you yourself have been passed up and girls you liked have been choosing men of other races over you.
if i met a black guy that i thought i was attracted to, and he wasnt attracted to me, id be like "okay, whatever." i wouldnt think it was b/c he wasnt attracted to me.
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If I decided I didn't want to date her because there were too many vowels in her name, that's my perrogative. Hell, if I wanted to join the KKK tomorrow and say all sorts of crazy nasty things into a bullhorn in public places, it's my perrogative- it's a free country.
But I chose to defend the issue and myself thus far, and this is where I stop. I've settled the issue with her, so it's over.
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okay this is what i am saying. as of now, it is no longer an issue, but more like morbid curiousity, so to speak. the human mind intrigues me. when people do something, i like to find out why. nothing is acted upon without something else triggering it.
im no longer trying to make this an issue, but i'm curious. you mentioned something saying that a white woman dating a black man is like rubbing salt in the wound...insult to injury i believe you called it. i'm curious as to why you think that way. im not saying you are wrong for not wanting to date a white woman that has dated a black man, but i am saying that you are wrong for judging a person based on their past actions.
again, its all curiousity, and you can feel free not to respond to this.
you can date someone based on anything you want. but then again, i am allowed to turn around and ask, "why?" b/c every prejudice has a reasoning behind it. for example, one could say i am prejudice against pop-tarts. i HATE those things. why? b/c i ate one, and the next day, got the flu. in my mind, i equated pop tarts with throwing up. a far-fetched example, but an example non-the-less.
curiousity killed the cat. good thing i'm not a cat. but i swear i should be an abnormal psych major.
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Not a white woman dating A black man, but someone who has dated ALL black men. You keep confusing the subject, and it's a key point.
You want abnormal psychology? Ok, I used to have friends that brought me to hip hop clubs, where white guys are at a clear disadvantage, as we would all watch the girls we talked to go home with black guys. And watch our female friends go with mostly black guys. They'd get treated like crap, get abused, cheated on, and still they loved them. Why? For a love of things I don't value, and a rejection of things I do value. Well fine, choose as you may. But I turn and choose not to choose them. Enter a Buchanan-esque world of fear for the dawning of a culture that views whites as "un-hip."
i met girls i was interested in. they only dated black guys. the not-so-law-abiding type. i threw up. I now equate girls who only date black guys with throwing up. a far-fetched analogy, but an analogy none-the-less.
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you have to understand that at first i was enraged by the fact that you hurt my friend, and then secondly, i was wondering what could cause such predjudice in someone. do i agree with you? not in the slightest. do i still think you are a jerk? unfortunatly yes. but now that i understand your point, i'm done.
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=o)
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If I decided I didn't want to date her because there were too many vowels in her name, that's my perrogative. Hell, if I wanted to join the KKK tomorrow and say all sorts of crazy nasty things into a bullhorn in public places, it's my perrogative- it's a free country.
But I chose to defend the issue and myself thus far, and this is where I stop. I've settled the issue with her, so it's over.
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