From my outbox.....
I sadly wrote this today...
My Dearest Lily,
I have been meaning to write you for a very long time, but work, school and my girlfriend have kept me busy. I want to tell you about all the wonderful things that have been happening to me but i want to focus on an experience that has made me think.
Today i encountered racism and ignorance for the first time. It all began in my English class, this class has become the bane of my existence. Every class is filled with a new frustration, my classmates are too slow and stupid, they disrupt the class, my teacher is too lenient, etc. This has slowly lead to a build up that would lead to the encounter i had today.
In the beginning of the class my teacher began to read us 3 short poems about what America means. If everyone is welcome, all with the backdrop of the statue of liberty on the electronic screen. Then we were separated in 3 groups in order to work on a narrative essay. She then showed us two gruesome pictures one of a Spanish soldier being shot and in the process of dying during world war one and the other of a man dying of wounds in Iraq.
Everyone was made uncomfortable with these pictures. Allot of people spoke out that they did want to view these pictures, then somehow the conversation started to turn to who should serve in Iraq. My first response was of course "Rich people" , people yelled out bush, senators, then young black man yelled out "Mexicans".
Everyone groaned, i heard some snickers, i felt anger build up in me and i shouted "Fuck you!" to which he ignored and then said "I think Mexicans should be the ones serving in Iraq not us" to which i sarcastically replied "Who's going to wash your dishes? clean your house? scrub your toilets? you right?".
Everyone around me noticed how upset i was, and one person even tried to distract me from what was going on. But i was too upset, then a woman in class said "I think Mexicans should go to Iraq, since they want to get into the country so bad they should make them serve in Iraq then if they survive they can go to Iraq".
The teacher did nothing. She merely continued with the class as if these things had never been uttered. I sat looking at these pictures and i thought to myself "I got up today at 6:30am dead tired, i went to work and did over time all so i could come to a class that tolerates ignorant bigots".
"You know what? Fuck this" i said to myself and i got up, walked to where i left my book bag and jacket and left. The class was silent, i heard people comment about how upset i was, the racist woman said "What? is he Mexican?".
I walked around New York in a daze. I was upset, i paced up and down blocks not knowing what to do. Did i overreact? i thought. Was i wrong to storm out of class? I'm not Mexican, should i be this upset?
We are all the same, Mexican, Cuban, Dominican, Ticos, Argentinians, Nicaraguans, etc. We all come from the same source. We may not look the same, we may not have the same history but we share a bond that can not be denied. We may draw lines in the sand and play childish games about who is more Latino but in the end we are all the same.
I stopped at Times square to try to remind myself why i came to New York, Why i left my friends and family, To why i left Puerto Rico. I couldn't find it, no matter at what giant billboards or neon signs i saw. I couldn't find the reason, then i saw midtown comics.
Frustrated and depressed i entered there i found myself staring at Tom's latest issue. I can barely make rent but i picked up his book. I would have to skip lunch tomorrow but as i read the book on the train home. I started to cry.
I wanted just for one second to be in Aldente again, because then i knew i would never have to deal with this again. I missed my island. I missed my blissful ignorance and safety that i had given up to follow my dream, most of all i missed your wisdom. Because i desperately needed it at that very moment.
But now I'm in my small apartment, with my feet on my chair. The day is over and the weekend is near, i can finally rest and try to move on. I have my dreams, they keep me moving, they keep me focused. Maybe things will be different on Monday, but even if they aren't i will just have to suck it up and move on.
Miss you terribly.
David
I still cant tell if i was being melodramatic but i was truely disgusted today. Mostly toward my spineless teacher who does not want to be the bad guy. I know racism is real and still goes on today and i have experienced it (in small doses). But I honestly shocked whenever i see it. Whats even worse is that the people who said it were black! of all people who should know not to act in such a disgusting manner, they did it. And without a care in the world.
Grace (my landlord) said something that made me feel better "David, what they said was stupid because we are all imigrants". Did we ever have our innocence? When did hate become so acceptable? I may have walked out of a class but i feel it was more than that, i feel like i made a statement that i will not tolerate hate. Maybe on monday some people will understand or maybe they wont, but it will be an interesting monday.
My Dearest Lily,
I have been meaning to write you for a very long time, but work, school and my girlfriend have kept me busy. I want to tell you about all the wonderful things that have been happening to me but i want to focus on an experience that has made me think.
Today i encountered racism and ignorance for the first time. It all began in my English class, this class has become the bane of my existence. Every class is filled with a new frustration, my classmates are too slow and stupid, they disrupt the class, my teacher is too lenient, etc. This has slowly lead to a build up that would lead to the encounter i had today.
In the beginning of the class my teacher began to read us 3 short poems about what America means. If everyone is welcome, all with the backdrop of the statue of liberty on the electronic screen. Then we were separated in 3 groups in order to work on a narrative essay. She then showed us two gruesome pictures one of a Spanish soldier being shot and in the process of dying during world war one and the other of a man dying of wounds in Iraq.
Everyone was made uncomfortable with these pictures. Allot of people spoke out that they did want to view these pictures, then somehow the conversation started to turn to who should serve in Iraq. My first response was of course "Rich people" , people yelled out bush, senators, then young black man yelled out "Mexicans".
Everyone groaned, i heard some snickers, i felt anger build up in me and i shouted "Fuck you!" to which he ignored and then said "I think Mexicans should be the ones serving in Iraq not us" to which i sarcastically replied "Who's going to wash your dishes? clean your house? scrub your toilets? you right?".
Everyone around me noticed how upset i was, and one person even tried to distract me from what was going on. But i was too upset, then a woman in class said "I think Mexicans should go to Iraq, since they want to get into the country so bad they should make them serve in Iraq then if they survive they can go to Iraq".
The teacher did nothing. She merely continued with the class as if these things had never been uttered. I sat looking at these pictures and i thought to myself "I got up today at 6:30am dead tired, i went to work and did over time all so i could come to a class that tolerates ignorant bigots".
"You know what? Fuck this" i said to myself and i got up, walked to where i left my book bag and jacket and left. The class was silent, i heard people comment about how upset i was, the racist woman said "What? is he Mexican?".
I walked around New York in a daze. I was upset, i paced up and down blocks not knowing what to do. Did i overreact? i thought. Was i wrong to storm out of class? I'm not Mexican, should i be this upset?
We are all the same, Mexican, Cuban, Dominican, Ticos, Argentinians, Nicaraguans, etc. We all come from the same source. We may not look the same, we may not have the same history but we share a bond that can not be denied. We may draw lines in the sand and play childish games about who is more Latino but in the end we are all the same.
I stopped at Times square to try to remind myself why i came to New York, Why i left my friends and family, To why i left Puerto Rico. I couldn't find it, no matter at what giant billboards or neon signs i saw. I couldn't find the reason, then i saw midtown comics.
Frustrated and depressed i entered there i found myself staring at Tom's latest issue. I can barely make rent but i picked up his book. I would have to skip lunch tomorrow but as i read the book on the train home. I started to cry.
I wanted just for one second to be in Aldente again, because then i knew i would never have to deal with this again. I missed my island. I missed my blissful ignorance and safety that i had given up to follow my dream, most of all i missed your wisdom. Because i desperately needed it at that very moment.
But now I'm in my small apartment, with my feet on my chair. The day is over and the weekend is near, i can finally rest and try to move on. I have my dreams, they keep me moving, they keep me focused. Maybe things will be different on Monday, but even if they aren't i will just have to suck it up and move on.
Miss you terribly.
David
I still cant tell if i was being melodramatic but i was truely disgusted today. Mostly toward my spineless teacher who does not want to be the bad guy. I know racism is real and still goes on today and i have experienced it (in small doses). But I honestly shocked whenever i see it. Whats even worse is that the people who said it were black! of all people who should know not to act in such a disgusting manner, they did it. And without a care in the world.
Grace (my landlord) said something that made me feel better "David, what they said was stupid because we are all imigrants". Did we ever have our innocence? When did hate become so acceptable? I may have walked out of a class but i feel it was more than that, i feel like i made a statement that i will not tolerate hate. Maybe on monday some people will understand or maybe they wont, but it will be an interesting monday.