Just keep swimming
Things are getting busy. Really busy. Between work (which is insanity in itself because of the heat), wedding planning (that, at least, is going well), bachelor/bachelorette party planning, and moving Rey into our new home while doing a slow pack and schlep for my own move... I'm exhausted. There is just so much to do and not a lot of time to do it. I know, when it's all said and done I will feel accomplished in all that I did and it will be a grand and wonderful affair *gag* So doesn't help right now.
It just feels like I'm not doing enough. I'm getting the "you should be doing more" vibe (AND COMMENTS. SERIOUSLY.) from a bunch of different angles (including people I know, I don't know, and myself). It isn't even about anything that is supposed to matter. For example, I had almost caused a bridezilla war on a forum because I asked how to print labels for wedding invitations. I had women trying to gouge my eyes out through the computer screen because I wasn't handwriting/hiring a calligrapher for the addresses. Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!
Also, I see my love working his ass off with his job, which in turn makes him too tired to do much else - including domestics, like moving. I am also the one that is about 4 miles away from home, so I am the one who has to do stuff like PG&E, go shopping for food, set up utilities, move stuff out of boxes into the living space, and I'm getting really tired. It feels like it's pretty much up to me to get this stuff done since he doesn't have the mental capacity after work. He acknowledges it, but he can't do anything about it. It feels like I'm in a group project - and we all know how much we love those.
I am looking forward to simply living in my new home. It would be so much easier if I didn't have to go back and forth between my mother's house and my home (because she's a pastor and traditional), but since that's not happening for another 36 days... thus is the way of the world. I suspect it will be easier for Rey to do more domestics once he's fully moved in too (which is also going in stages with a full stop Sept 18).
I am also still not talking to My friend who bailed on my wedding. My sister in law just found out the full story and is finally understanding why I'm not speaking to her. At least she no longer thinks I'm being a bridezilla towards my friend. I'm going to save that conversation with my friend until after I'm back from my honeymoon. I may lose a very old friend. But I have to protect me. I will still keep an eye on my two godchildren from her, but we may just have to be civil towards one another. I can live with that. That means I don't have to fight so hard to hold her accountable to her shite. Heh, but I'm not bitter or anything. Really...
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming...
It just feels like I'm not doing enough. I'm getting the "you should be doing more" vibe (AND COMMENTS. SERIOUSLY.) from a bunch of different angles (including people I know, I don't know, and myself). It isn't even about anything that is supposed to matter. For example, I had almost caused a bridezilla war on a forum because I asked how to print labels for wedding invitations. I had women trying to gouge my eyes out through the computer screen because I wasn't handwriting/hiring a calligrapher for the addresses. Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!
Also, I see my love working his ass off with his job, which in turn makes him too tired to do much else - including domestics, like moving. I am also the one that is about 4 miles away from home, so I am the one who has to do stuff like PG&E, go shopping for food, set up utilities, move stuff out of boxes into the living space, and I'm getting really tired. It feels like it's pretty much up to me to get this stuff done since he doesn't have the mental capacity after work. He acknowledges it, but he can't do anything about it. It feels like I'm in a group project - and we all know how much we love those.
I am looking forward to simply living in my new home. It would be so much easier if I didn't have to go back and forth between my mother's house and my home (because she's a pastor and traditional), but since that's not happening for another 36 days... thus is the way of the world. I suspect it will be easier for Rey to do more domestics once he's fully moved in too (which is also going in stages with a full stop Sept 18).
I am also still not talking to My friend who bailed on my wedding. My sister in law just found out the full story and is finally understanding why I'm not speaking to her. At least she no longer thinks I'm being a bridezilla towards my friend. I'm going to save that conversation with my friend until after I'm back from my honeymoon. I may lose a very old friend. But I have to protect me. I will still keep an eye on my two godchildren from her, but we may just have to be civil towards one another. I can live with that. That means I don't have to fight so hard to hold her accountable to her shite. Heh, but I'm not bitter or anything. Really...
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming...