(no subject)
Bit of an update;
A while ago I asked myself this question:
Q: Why do I want a significant other?
I earlier established that there are two kinds of love, sensual and non-sensual, and that it's only the sensual part that's hurting me, so this question only applies to the sensual part of my love, non-sensual love doesn't hurt, since it's simply wanting the other person to be happy, no matter what.
There are actually a whole bunch of reasons/answers, this is only one of them, but I deem it to be important.
Answer:
One of the reasons for wanting a significant other is because I love being in love.
More specifically, because I love the feeling of being in love.
Or, you could say, the chemicals in my brain that get released when I'm in love.
This is actually a form of *self* love. You love a sensation within yourself, that the other person causes.
It's not bad to love a feeling inside of yourself, but you have to remember you're only loving the chemicals inside your own brain, that's a whoolllleeee different ball game from actually loving the other person.
This utterly matches what science has been telling me for years but what I never quite understood; That "love" only lasts 2-3 years, and after that the brain simply can't produce the amount of neurochemicals demanded, and it breaks down.
They were only talking about sensual love, about which they're perfectly right.
Love is like... it starts with attraction and sensual love, and through sensual love you spend a lot of time with eachother, during which non-sensual love can grow.
The same applies to sex and people cheating. They don't cheat because they want to hurt the other person, or cause they love someone else. They cheat because they love a feeling within themselves, produced by sex or sensual love.
I don't know if any of you actually get this, it took me a while, heh.
I was actually told all this aaageesss ago, but I simply didn't understand it, till now.
Ohyeah, and I decided that I don't care much for neurochemicals within my brain ;p
This solves the problem of me feeling hurt when people cheat, among other things :)
I also understand now why that one zen guru once hid advanced zen texts till students were ready for them. There's no point telling people the truth when they don't understand it.
Maybe it's a bit like koans. I don't understand koans *at all* (yet) :p
A while ago I asked myself this question:
Q: Why do I want a significant other?
I earlier established that there are two kinds of love, sensual and non-sensual, and that it's only the sensual part that's hurting me, so this question only applies to the sensual part of my love, non-sensual love doesn't hurt, since it's simply wanting the other person to be happy, no matter what.
There are actually a whole bunch of reasons/answers, this is only one of them, but I deem it to be important.
Answer:
One of the reasons for wanting a significant other is because I love being in love.
More specifically, because I love the feeling of being in love.
Or, you could say, the chemicals in my brain that get released when I'm in love.
This is actually a form of *self* love. You love a sensation within yourself, that the other person causes.
It's not bad to love a feeling inside of yourself, but you have to remember you're only loving the chemicals inside your own brain, that's a whoolllleeee different ball game from actually loving the other person.
This utterly matches what science has been telling me for years but what I never quite understood; That "love" only lasts 2-3 years, and after that the brain simply can't produce the amount of neurochemicals demanded, and it breaks down.
They were only talking about sensual love, about which they're perfectly right.
Love is like... it starts with attraction and sensual love, and through sensual love you spend a lot of time with eachother, during which non-sensual love can grow.
The same applies to sex and people cheating. They don't cheat because they want to hurt the other person, or cause they love someone else. They cheat because they love a feeling within themselves, produced by sex or sensual love.
I don't know if any of you actually get this, it took me a while, heh.
I was actually told all this aaageesss ago, but I simply didn't understand it, till now.
Ohyeah, and I decided that I don't care much for neurochemicals within my brain ;p
This solves the problem of me feeling hurt when people cheat, among other things :)
I also understand now why that one zen guru once hid advanced zen texts till students were ready for them. There's no point telling people the truth when they don't understand it.
Maybe it's a bit like koans. I don't understand koans *at all* (yet) :p