Always Expect
You always expect the next day, or at least right when you wake up to be better. Last nite I was in a great, mood, even before I got drunk. I don't know why I was, everything is and was shit last nite, but I did something for someone that to me made me feel like I was actually worth something, that I was important, and someone would notice for once. Today I don't know what or how I feel, fear. I'm afraid... I can feel it in the pit of my stomache, in my heart, in my very bones. Soon everything will be decided, I've made my plays, taken my chances, I've tried so hard just to change one decision thats already made, and now I jsut wonder if I should have even fought it, or just given up, to let the person be. Maybe I shouldn't involve myself in others lives, sometimes I do some good, but most the time when I'm looking back, I realize how much bad I've done, and how much it outweighs the good. I'm not a bad person, just I fuck up... Oh well. I have nothing to say of value anymore, I've used it up, and can't even think.