The only thieves I like are those associated with Robin Hood, Firefly, and Danny Ocean, okay?
My theory: Someone is taking easy food when they're high because, well, they're high.
What happened: Basically, twenty minutes ago, I go to fill my water bottles up and find the lid of my takeout container on top of the stove. That's weird, I say, because IT IS and lo and behold, my chicken parmesan and linguine (sans chicken parm, which I think the culprit devoured) is in the trash. And not to be gross, but it was on top, so I salvaged what I could and packed it away.
As it's almost 5 am and no one's up, save the thieves, I'm going to take this to the RA in the morning, and I've enlisted my cousin to help me secure a minifridge, but again, it's 5 am, so no one's up.
Oh, and they stole an egg. How do I know this? There are fucking spaghetti sauce stains from MY CHICKEN PARMESAN on MY EGG CARTON. I don't even understand! And it's super conspicuous like an egg in the middle missing.
I don't know what I expect to happen but I've taken some weird proactive measures. I took a picture of the lid on the stove as some kind of evidence? I vaguely thought about dusting things with flour when I realized that a) even if I was smart enough to pull fingerprints off of them, there's clearly nothing to compare them to. I just watch too many procedurals and I just want to do something proactive.
By which I mean, if I ever find out who did this, I want to mash durian into fish sauce, let it ferment and smother it into their carpet.
Guys, I'm so angry, my face is actually doing an unironic twitchy thing of rage of its own accord.
What happened: Basically, twenty minutes ago, I go to fill my water bottles up and find the lid of my takeout container on top of the stove. That's weird, I say, because IT IS and lo and behold, my chicken parmesan and linguine (sans chicken parm, which I think the culprit devoured) is in the trash. And not to be gross, but it was on top, so I salvaged what I could and packed it away.
As it's almost 5 am and no one's up, save the thieves, I'm going to take this to the RA in the morning, and I've enlisted my cousin to help me secure a minifridge, but again, it's 5 am, so no one's up.
Oh, and they stole an egg. How do I know this? There are fucking spaghetti sauce stains from MY CHICKEN PARMESAN on MY EGG CARTON. I don't even understand! And it's super conspicuous like an egg in the middle missing.
I don't know what I expect to happen but I've taken some weird proactive measures. I took a picture of the lid on the stove as some kind of evidence? I vaguely thought about dusting things with flour when I realized that a) even if I was smart enough to pull fingerprints off of them, there's clearly nothing to compare them to. I just watch too many procedurals and I just want to do something proactive.
By which I mean, if I ever find out who did this, I want to mash durian into fish sauce, let it ferment and smother it into their carpet.
Guys, I'm so angry, my face is actually doing an unironic twitchy thing of rage of its own accord.