Stranger than fiction
I punched the microwave. The score is microwave one, me zero.
The ants are gone, but for how long?
To make my nights more interesting, I have joined a cult that involves aliens and clones. I find their creative rewrite of the bible more believable than the original by far. Strangely the Raelian message does not disagree at all with atheism, just common sense.
A very -VERY- large black woman at my work sent nine different photos of herself to my phone, two of which she was making kissy faces in and one that was labeled "Baby got back" and showed her whole body in a profile shot (she has a lot of back). I was at a loss. More awkward, all of my coworkers know she sent them to me and won't shut up about it.
I am considering not cleaning up after myself, since the maid should be here soon. I pay a maid... So I ought to make a mess for her to clean up, otherwise I am wasting money.
The other night I was thirty-eight minutes late for work because I overslept, a kitten climbed into the open passenger side window of my car, there was construction on the highway, I missed my turn, and there was an accident on the road.
My coworkers believe I am broke because I am paying off my ten thousand dollar laptop (it was 700 at Walmart, and I told them that....) and because I gave eighty dollars to a previously mentioned very large black woman (and I didn't). I am actually broke because my bills just come to about $15 more a month than I make.
I am going to clean up after myself and go to bed now. I would feel bad leaving a mess for the maid. Her job sucks.
The ants are gone, but for how long?
To make my nights more interesting, I have joined a cult that involves aliens and clones. I find their creative rewrite of the bible more believable than the original by far. Strangely the Raelian message does not disagree at all with atheism, just common sense.
A very -VERY- large black woman at my work sent nine different photos of herself to my phone, two of which she was making kissy faces in and one that was labeled "Baby got back" and showed her whole body in a profile shot (she has a lot of back). I was at a loss. More awkward, all of my coworkers know she sent them to me and won't shut up about it.
I am considering not cleaning up after myself, since the maid should be here soon. I pay a maid... So I ought to make a mess for her to clean up, otherwise I am wasting money.
The other night I was thirty-eight minutes late for work because I overslept, a kitten climbed into the open passenger side window of my car, there was construction on the highway, I missed my turn, and there was an accident on the road.
My coworkers believe I am broke because I am paying off my ten thousand dollar laptop (it was 700 at Walmart, and I told them that....) and because I gave eighty dollars to a previously mentioned very large black woman (and I didn't). I am actually broke because my bills just come to about $15 more a month than I make.
I am going to clean up after myself and go to bed now. I would feel bad leaving a mess for the maid. Her job sucks.