Tuesday, 12:39 Q & A
Q: What's going on?
A: It's nearly 1 pm. I have a 1:30 appointment, I haven't eaten lunch, my cat is angry, and I'm not wearing pants. So, as should be the obvious action in this situation, I'm blogging.
Q: What's wrong with you?
A: Haven't I already addressed this in a previous Q&A?
Q: How do you know the cat's angry?
A: Because she's following me around the house scowling. Whenever I stop moving, she sits exactly out of arm's reach, and gives me The Backward Ears of Disapproval.
Q: Why's the cat angry?
A: Because the vet said to feed her as little as possible, and she finds this unacceptable. She has a hunger, and her hunger has a fierce.
Q: Why shouldn't the cat eat?
A: Because the x-ray shows a large blob of something in her colon that she needs to pass, and in some way that's clear to the vet but not to me, NOT feeding her is supposed to move her bowels. I mean, more than the enema and the barium shooters would do on their own. He did suggest giving her raw beef liver, which he claims has magic digestive advancement properties, but she would rather chew on her plate that smells like the food she ate yesterday, than eat raw beef liver. I back her 100% on this position.
Q: Barium shooters?
A: What?? It was the vet's idea! She's old enough. In cat years.
Q: And... why aren't you wearing pants?
A: I'm a free spirit?
Q: Let's rephrase that: Why aren't you wearing pants when you need to leave for an appointment in a few minutes?
A: Don't judge me!
Q: Oooooookay. How's your head cold?
A: Sucks. I would trade it to Chicago in a heartbeat.
Q: Did you just make some kind of sports-based joke?
A: Uh.... no.
Q: Any final words as we wrap this up?
A: Yes. The asshat who is using my bike basket for a trashcan better hope I never catch him, because if I do, I'm going to stuff his used snot rags and banana peels down the back of his underpants. And the rest of you should pray I don't get it in my head to post a picture of whatever it is the cat needs to get out of her colon.
A: It's nearly 1 pm. I have a 1:30 appointment, I haven't eaten lunch, my cat is angry, and I'm not wearing pants. So, as should be the obvious action in this situation, I'm blogging.
Q: What's wrong with you?
A: Haven't I already addressed this in a previous Q&A?
Q: How do you know the cat's angry?
A: Because she's following me around the house scowling. Whenever I stop moving, she sits exactly out of arm's reach, and gives me The Backward Ears of Disapproval.
Q: Why's the cat angry?
A: Because the vet said to feed her as little as possible, and she finds this unacceptable. She has a hunger, and her hunger has a fierce.
Q: Why shouldn't the cat eat?
A: Because the x-ray shows a large blob of something in her colon that she needs to pass, and in some way that's clear to the vet but not to me, NOT feeding her is supposed to move her bowels. I mean, more than the enema and the barium shooters would do on their own. He did suggest giving her raw beef liver, which he claims has magic digestive advancement properties, but she would rather chew on her plate that smells like the food she ate yesterday, than eat raw beef liver. I back her 100% on this position.
Q: Barium shooters?
A: What?? It was the vet's idea! She's old enough. In cat years.
Q: And... why aren't you wearing pants?
A: I'm a free spirit?
Q: Let's rephrase that: Why aren't you wearing pants when you need to leave for an appointment in a few minutes?
A: Don't judge me!
Q: Oooooookay. How's your head cold?
A: Sucks. I would trade it to Chicago in a heartbeat.
Q: Did you just make some kind of sports-based joke?
A: Uh.... no.
Q: Any final words as we wrap this up?
A: Yes. The asshat who is using my bike basket for a trashcan better hope I never catch him, because if I do, I'm going to stuff his used snot rags and banana peels down the back of his underpants. And the rest of you should pray I don't get it in my head to post a picture of whatever it is the cat needs to get out of her colon.