(no subject)
Well, here it is... i decided to write a story and started writing about my surgery and never finished. it's been chillin in my documents since may, anyways, maybe i'll finish it one day.
From the dawn of time, there has always been stories that give the average joe a definition of what is truly remarkable. Tales such as those of Zeus, those of Genghis Khan, those of Alexander, and perhaps the greatest of them all… Huy. Yes folks, this is the folklore of yours truly. Masses thought it was a mere a legend but no, not at all. You see, legends are nothing but overexaggerated details of what people wish had happened. This is a retelling of actual events, legendary in itself. So sit back, drink a beer, do some meth, and go out driving down the 101 in reverse with your lights off, sit back and be prepared to be astonished by the story of a God, an Orlando 1.
I remember it like it was minutes ago, an event so vivid, so moving. It all started on a Thursday morning. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning because I had to study for a physiology practical later that day. I started off the day as usual, opened my eyes and told the 7 goddesses (that had been virgins merely 8 hours earlier) to get the fuck out of my lair. Little did I realize how out of the ordinary the day and the rest of eternity would turn out to be. Finally after washing up I was able to start getting my study on, learning about the digestive system and the reasons behind the miracle of women not pooping until they have babies. Suddenly, it was as if the King Arthur had stabbed the great sword of Excalibur through my left upper arm. Pains shot up and down my arm. I thought nothing of this. If that weren’t enough, I started having some shitty ass pains in my abdominal region. I tried to deal with it and decided to lay down on the couch, this event disagreed with me so I moved to the lazy boy recliner and sat in a hilarious position for the next 20 minutes in pain. It didn’t feel any better so I decided just to get up and study. As I was walking back to my kitchen table I couldn’t take the wrath of God anymore so I just laid down on the carpet in the middle of my living room floor. Tossing and turning and shaking the planet under me as I did so, I began to cry out in pain, much like Aro’s warrior cries when he breathes out lava after drinking the holy water, 151. It felt as if my appendix/stomach/spleen/heart, or all of the above were about to burst. Sir Marcus and Dr. Anthony were asleep still and there I was, lying on the floor in a position much like that of Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber after chasing after Mary Swanson in the airport, where he fell from the terminal thing, yeah like that.
Finally I get back to the table. The pain had not subsided and learning about the GI tract did not look pleasant so I returned to my bed and tried to sleep it off. I was in there for probably 2 hours and got 15 minutes of rest. 11:15 arrived and I was off to school. I walk out into the garage and getting into the car was hell. I took a deep breath and just dropped into the E-clit and off to hell I was. I get to school and getting into my car was heavenly compared to getting out. After 3 minutes of sitting in my car pondering, I mustered up the courage to get out. Warrior cries ensued, luckily I was all alone on the 4th floor, for the cries would have shattered souls within the vicinity. I make my way to class and have to take 3 breaks to sit and rest during the pilgrimage. I felt like an 80 year old on a respirator after swallowing a knife. Finally I arrive at class and take a seat in the hallway, awaiting the time of judgement. Harmon came and sat with me and I unraveled my scenario to him, suddenly I started feeling hella cold. Finally the door opens to let us in and I get up. Bad idea. Major head rush. I had to prop myself against the wall for a second. I go in and sit at my station, vision flashed over with white matter. Suddenly upon sitting I feel a heat flash and my face is now glistening with sweat. 1 hr later, the practical is over and I leave, before leaving I ask my TA about my condition and tell him my symptoms. He tells me that he thinks it’s a pinched nerve. I thought it may have been this before, maybe from sleeping awkwardly. Being a doctor, I acknowledged how crazy those nerves can be.
I finally arrive back at the crib and return to my lair and tried to sleep it off. Sir Marcus occasionally came in and kept asking if I wanted to go the hospital, I deny. I fucking hate the hospital. Dr. Anthony texts me saying that he told his mom and they think I should go to the hospital too. I am woken up around 6-7 by a phone call from my mother and I tell her what’s going on. As many of you know my mother, the goddess that reared me, you know she gets pretty crazy. She convinces me to go to the hospital and insists on coming down, I tell her I’ll go but she shouldn’t come down because it’s probably just a nerve. I get into my car and make my way to the hospital. It was quite comical, the whole way there, I had to position myself so awkwardly because pains would just build up in my body. The best way to describe it is like in a video game where you have to tap the x button rapidly for this meter to hit the max and do it repeatidly, the meter goes up and down, getting closer and closer to the destiny and then your finger would get to tired and you’d have to start all over. The pain was tapping like hell away and the only way to make it tired was to shift weight off of my left abdominal side where the pain was most severe at, I had to use leverage from pushing my left foot off of the dead pedal to keep weight off that side when the pain would just build up. However, there was no stopping it’s devastation, the only thing I could do was put it off. Whenever I got to a red light, I had to succumb to it and there I was, lying all the way back in my car with the car in park and just screaming in agony. Finally I get to the hospital and again I dreaded getting out. After a few minutes of wanting to die, I decided to get out, a process that did pronounce me deceased for a second. There was guy walking in the parking lot that probably thought I was delirious when I tried to get out of my car. I walk into the emergency room and put my name down and waited. I proceeded to wait for the next 5 hours. My parents came down during the first hour and kept me company. My mom gave me some advil for the pain and that seemed to put it out. After the wait of a lifetime, I said fuck that and left. My pain did subside and was barely there.
It was amazing, I get home and it’s basically gone and I sleep like normal and everything. I was like fuck yes, hallelujah.
I wake up the next morning for my 8 am class and feel normal. It was as if the goddess Athena had breathed life back into me. I decide not to go to class and instead I go to the courts to try and turn in stuff for my court case. I end up going to 2 of the wrong courts and then at the 2nd one, they tell me to go to the dmv. Off to the DMV I went. Not too long of a wait and guess what, they said that I had to go to the fucking city court to do it. Thanks you for making me run to every god damn department. The law hates me. Anyways, these mere event are only to display the normality of my health during the day. After a lot more running around, I go back to the pad and hang out with Marcus and Anthony. The goddess April came down later that day and we all went to lunch at a restaurant fit for kings: Coyote Pause. This is where and when the end of the world began.
From the dawn of time, there has always been stories that give the average joe a definition of what is truly remarkable. Tales such as those of Zeus, those of Genghis Khan, those of Alexander, and perhaps the greatest of them all… Huy. Yes folks, this is the folklore of yours truly. Masses thought it was a mere a legend but no, not at all. You see, legends are nothing but overexaggerated details of what people wish had happened. This is a retelling of actual events, legendary in itself. So sit back, drink a beer, do some meth, and go out driving down the 101 in reverse with your lights off, sit back and be prepared to be astonished by the story of a God, an Orlando 1.
I remember it like it was minutes ago, an event so vivid, so moving. It all started on a Thursday morning. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning because I had to study for a physiology practical later that day. I started off the day as usual, opened my eyes and told the 7 goddesses (that had been virgins merely 8 hours earlier) to get the fuck out of my lair. Little did I realize how out of the ordinary the day and the rest of eternity would turn out to be. Finally after washing up I was able to start getting my study on, learning about the digestive system and the reasons behind the miracle of women not pooping until they have babies. Suddenly, it was as if the King Arthur had stabbed the great sword of Excalibur through my left upper arm. Pains shot up and down my arm. I thought nothing of this. If that weren’t enough, I started having some shitty ass pains in my abdominal region. I tried to deal with it and decided to lay down on the couch, this event disagreed with me so I moved to the lazy boy recliner and sat in a hilarious position for the next 20 minutes in pain. It didn’t feel any better so I decided just to get up and study. As I was walking back to my kitchen table I couldn’t take the wrath of God anymore so I just laid down on the carpet in the middle of my living room floor. Tossing and turning and shaking the planet under me as I did so, I began to cry out in pain, much like Aro’s warrior cries when he breathes out lava after drinking the holy water, 151. It felt as if my appendix/stomach/spleen/heart, or all of the above were about to burst. Sir Marcus and Dr. Anthony were asleep still and there I was, lying on the floor in a position much like that of Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber after chasing after Mary Swanson in the airport, where he fell from the terminal thing, yeah like that.
Finally I get back to the table. The pain had not subsided and learning about the GI tract did not look pleasant so I returned to my bed and tried to sleep it off. I was in there for probably 2 hours and got 15 minutes of rest. 11:15 arrived and I was off to school. I walk out into the garage and getting into the car was hell. I took a deep breath and just dropped into the E-clit and off to hell I was. I get to school and getting into my car was heavenly compared to getting out. After 3 minutes of sitting in my car pondering, I mustered up the courage to get out. Warrior cries ensued, luckily I was all alone on the 4th floor, for the cries would have shattered souls within the vicinity. I make my way to class and have to take 3 breaks to sit and rest during the pilgrimage. I felt like an 80 year old on a respirator after swallowing a knife. Finally I arrive at class and take a seat in the hallway, awaiting the time of judgement. Harmon came and sat with me and I unraveled my scenario to him, suddenly I started feeling hella cold. Finally the door opens to let us in and I get up. Bad idea. Major head rush. I had to prop myself against the wall for a second. I go in and sit at my station, vision flashed over with white matter. Suddenly upon sitting I feel a heat flash and my face is now glistening with sweat. 1 hr later, the practical is over and I leave, before leaving I ask my TA about my condition and tell him my symptoms. He tells me that he thinks it’s a pinched nerve. I thought it may have been this before, maybe from sleeping awkwardly. Being a doctor, I acknowledged how crazy those nerves can be.
I finally arrive back at the crib and return to my lair and tried to sleep it off. Sir Marcus occasionally came in and kept asking if I wanted to go the hospital, I deny. I fucking hate the hospital. Dr. Anthony texts me saying that he told his mom and they think I should go to the hospital too. I am woken up around 6-7 by a phone call from my mother and I tell her what’s going on. As many of you know my mother, the goddess that reared me, you know she gets pretty crazy. She convinces me to go to the hospital and insists on coming down, I tell her I’ll go but she shouldn’t come down because it’s probably just a nerve. I get into my car and make my way to the hospital. It was quite comical, the whole way there, I had to position myself so awkwardly because pains would just build up in my body. The best way to describe it is like in a video game where you have to tap the x button rapidly for this meter to hit the max and do it repeatidly, the meter goes up and down, getting closer and closer to the destiny and then your finger would get to tired and you’d have to start all over. The pain was tapping like hell away and the only way to make it tired was to shift weight off of my left abdominal side where the pain was most severe at, I had to use leverage from pushing my left foot off of the dead pedal to keep weight off that side when the pain would just build up. However, there was no stopping it’s devastation, the only thing I could do was put it off. Whenever I got to a red light, I had to succumb to it and there I was, lying all the way back in my car with the car in park and just screaming in agony. Finally I get to the hospital and again I dreaded getting out. After a few minutes of wanting to die, I decided to get out, a process that did pronounce me deceased for a second. There was guy walking in the parking lot that probably thought I was delirious when I tried to get out of my car. I walk into the emergency room and put my name down and waited. I proceeded to wait for the next 5 hours. My parents came down during the first hour and kept me company. My mom gave me some advil for the pain and that seemed to put it out. After the wait of a lifetime, I said fuck that and left. My pain did subside and was barely there.
It was amazing, I get home and it’s basically gone and I sleep like normal and everything. I was like fuck yes, hallelujah.
I wake up the next morning for my 8 am class and feel normal. It was as if the goddess Athena had breathed life back into me. I decide not to go to class and instead I go to the courts to try and turn in stuff for my court case. I end up going to 2 of the wrong courts and then at the 2nd one, they tell me to go to the dmv. Off to the DMV I went. Not too long of a wait and guess what, they said that I had to go to the fucking city court to do it. Thanks you for making me run to every god damn department. The law hates me. Anyways, these mere event are only to display the normality of my health during the day. After a lot more running around, I go back to the pad and hang out with Marcus and Anthony. The goddess April came down later that day and we all went to lunch at a restaurant fit for kings: Coyote Pause. This is where and when the end of the world began.