Fic: Oh, Captain
Title: Oh, Captain
Series: Torchwood
Characters: Owen, Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Tosh
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Meat (TW 2.4)
Beta: firefly_124
Disclaimers: I do not own Torchwood or the characters therein, they belong to the BBC and RTD. Any original storylines, characters and places are my property.
Summary: Jack and Owen get some alone time in the Hub.
Author's Notes: This all started as an innocent Twitter conversation with facing_the_wind. I should know better than to let my mind wander the internet.
Oh, Captain
Owen Harper closed his mobile, looking up as Captain Jack Harkness swept into the Hub through the main cog door. Owen slid his leather jacket off, tossing it across the sofa. Jack looked around appraisingly. They were alone in the Hub.
“What do you want to do with the alien body?” Jack asked, stepping towards Owen. “I think we should dispose of it. Cremate it or something; make sure it’s gone for good.”
“I don’t think it’s going anywhere,” Owen said, turning to his desk. “It’s dead after all. It can stay in the boot of the SUV until I get a chance to autopsy it later.”
“Autopsy it? Why? Just get rid of it,” Jack said.
“We’ve never seen the species before. Tosh would be bloody pissed if we didn’t add it to the database.”
“Right. Tosh.” Jack took off his greatcoat and tossed it over Gwen’s desk. “Listen, why don’t you head home?”
Owen closed the program he had started running, inputting the coordinates from his and Jack’s excursion that night. He plastered a sinister smile on his face. Owen stood up slowly and moved towards Jack, reaching a hand out and tracing it up Jack’s arm.
“Everyone else is gone. They won’t be back until later tomorrow. We have the entire place to ourselves. I thought we would finally get some alone time. Why do you think I went with you into the field tonight?”
“Right. Alone time.” Jack wrapped his hands around Owen’s hips and pulled the doctor in to him. “What do you propose to do with this alone time?”
“I had a few things in mind,” Owen replied, grinning.
“And that would be?”
Owen pulled back and slapped Jack across the face, hard. Jack stumbled back in surprise and then rushed at Owen, grabbing Owen around the neck, pressing in with his fingers. Owen tried to not show fear nor choke himself.
“What the fuck do you think you are doi-“
“You like it rough,” Owen said. “Last time you had me leave you black and blue, but you came like nothing before that.”
Jack’s grip on his neck slowly loosened. “I did?”
“Yes, you did.” Owen put his hands over Jack’s and pulled them away from his neck. “If something’s wrong … if something’s different you can tell me.”
“Right. No, nothing’s wrong. You just took me by surprise.”
“I never take you by surprise.” “It’s been a long night. I think that creature took more out of me than I thought.”
“Then I think I know just the cure for that,” Owen said, holding Jack’s hands and leading him down into autopsy. Once down the stairs, Owen slid Jack’s braces off his shoulders and down his arms. One by one, Owen unbuckled Jack’s shirt. He ran his hands across Jack’s chest and under his t-shirt, pressing his fingers against Jack’s nipples.
“I don’t think you should be-“
Owen put a finger across Jack’s lips. “Nonsense, Jack. You know we both need this after the week we had. As if having Rhys killed wasn’t bad enough…” Owen let out a sigh and laid his head against Jack’s chest.
“Right. Killing Rhys was bad.”
“It put a big damper on the week, but it had to be done,” Owen said as he pulled Jack’s shirt and undershirt off. “Because of what Rhys was.”
“Right. Rhys was an alien. It had to be done.”
Owen leaned in, kissing Jack. His tongue pushed in, making Jack give in and open his mouth. As he continued to kiss Jack, Owen pushed the older man into the wall. Never breaking from the kiss, Owen opened a drawer and slipped two pairs of something silver into the pockets of his jeans.
Jack pulled away, breathless. “That was amazing.”
“It was okay.” Owen continued to kiss Jack, moving them around the room as he tasted every ounce of his Captain. Jack jerked away as they bumped into the stretcher in the middle of the room. Owen continued to kiss Jack, little nibbles down his throat, to his chest. Flicking his tongue out, Owen traced it along the outside of Jack’s left nipple.
Jack let out a moan, shutting his eyes as Owen closed his mouth around the nipple and sucked on it. Owen flicked his tongue up and down and while Jack seemed to slump against the stretcher, Owen pulled out the first pair of silver handcuffs from his pockets, slapping it closed against Jack’s wrist.
Jack’s eyes snapped open as Owen closed the other handcuff in the open hole at the top corner of the stretcher, around the metal frame. “What are you doing?” Jack jerked his hand around in the cuff.
Owen looked crestfallen. “But you like bondage so much; I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“Right. What I want.” Jack took a deep breath. “Where were we?”
“I was about to move over here,” Owen said as his lips pressed against Jack’s other nipple. Jack moaned again as he sat down on the stretcher. Owen crawled up Jack, straddling his boss’s lap, and pushed him down on the stretcher. Owen began to lick Jack’s chest, working his way back up to Jack’s neck. Nibbling on the neck, Owen slid the other pair of handcuffs out of his jeans and before Jack could breathe again, he bit down on Jack’s flesh and ratcheted the other cuffs on Jack’s spare wrist. Moving quickly he attached the other handcuff to the opposite frame of the stretcher, leaving Jack’s arms spread above his head.
“What are you doing?” Jack wrestled with the handcuffs.
“You look so bloody gorgeous like that,” Owen said, trailing his hand up and down Jack’s legs. His hand stopped at the fly of Jack’s trousers and Owen undid the button and zipper.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting you more comfortable.” With one move Owen yanked down Jack’s trousers and pants down to his ankles. Undoing the other man’s boots, Owen finally divested Jack of all his clothing, leaving him handcuffed to the stretcher in autopsy, naked as could be.
Jack continued to squirm and twist in the handcuffs. Owen slapped him hard on the stomach. Jack stilled as Owen wrapped his fingers around Jack’s cock. With measured jerks, Owen worked Jack up and down. As Jack grew harder, his other hand fondled and played with Jack’s balls. Lowering his head down, Owen moved his hands away and began to suck on Jack, bobbing his head up and down, tongue pressing against the vein on the underside of his cock. Jack moaned even more lewdly and then screamed as Owen bit down.
“What the fuck! Are you trying to kill me?”
“I would never try to kill you.” Owen looked at him astonished. “How could you think such a thing? I know you like it rough, the harder the better.”
“Right. Rough.” Jack looked down his body at Owen. “Just don’t get so rough you kill me. I don’t want to die.”
“Sure thing,” Owen said as his fingers began to play with Jack’s crotch. They lingered downwards and tickled along his bum. Owen’s mobile beeped and he stepped away. Pulling it out of his pocket. He typed away on the keypad and hit ‘send’ before turning his attention back to Jack.
“What was that?”
“Ianto checking in. I told him he could stay home tonight. I had everything covered.”
“Right. I don’t need Ianto.”
“Exactly, he doesn’t do anything important around here.” Owen stroked up and down Jack’s dick, playing with the tip. Once Jack was rock hard, Owen grabbed a length of rubber tubing and tied it around the base of Jack’s cock. He then began to slap Jack’s length with the flat of his hand, feeling himself get hard at Jack’s every grunt, moan and cry. Owen grabbed a pair of forceps and walked around Jack, stopping next to the man. His fingers began to caress Jack’s nipple and he could feel it turn into a hard pebble. Grabbing the nipple, he pulled it outwards, and clamped the forceps down under the base. Jack’s scream filled autopsy.
“Are you seriously trying to kill me?” Jack asked in between gasping breaths.
“You know you love it,” Owen said, kissing Jack on the lips and shutting him up.
“Right,” Jack said as Owen pulled away. Owen headed up the stairs towards the main area of the Hub. “Where are you going?”
“I’ll be right back,” Owen replied as he ducked into the work area and then into the small kitchenette. Opening the door to the refrigerator he looked around for anything interesting. Jack wasn’t allergic to any foods, so he couldn’t pain him that way. It was then that he spotted the leftovers from Tosh’s lunch. “This’ll work.”
Hurrying back down to autopsy, he pulled one of the metal carts over and dropped the take-away container onto it, grabbing a scalpel as well. He smiled at Jack, who looked at him almost in fear. Opening the container, he unwrapped the steamed artichoke heart. Taking the scalpel, Owen sliced off a small section of the tender part of the heart. He held it out to Jack who refused to open his mouth. Owen chuckled and ate it himself. He then sliced off another tender piece.
“Please? For me?”
Jack sighed and opened his mouth, letting Owen feed him. He grimaced at first, but swallowed. Owen ate another piece of the tender bit and then hunked off the spiny, deceptive, bottom of the artichoke heart. It looked tender, but was hell on the throat, spikes sticking out in every direction, not letting you swallow, making you want to gag. He held it to Jack’s mouth. Jack opened up and Owen shoved the whole thing between the Captain’s lips. Jack tried to chew it, but began to gag. Owen grabbed some surgical tape and ripped off a piece, putting it over Jack’s mouth.
Jack wrestled around on the stretcher, choking, gasping for air, wanting to projectile the vile thing stuck in his throat. Tears started streaming down his face as Owen grabbed him by the cock and squeezed, hard. Jack tried screaming through the gag.
“That’s enough.” Owen looked up to see Ianto standing above him by the railing to autopsy, a gun trained on them.
“Shit, and I was just starting to have fun,” Owen said, ripping the surgical tape off Jack’s face. He grabbed a pan and held it under Jack’s chin as he spit and coughed the vile green vegetable back up.
“He’s trying to kill me, shoot him,” Jack sputtered out.
“He can be a bit of a prick, but I don’t think he deserves to be killed,” Gwen said as she entered autopsy, gun in hand, trained on Jack and Owen.
Owen stepped back towards his desk, away from his teammates. “All I was doing was treating Jack like the man he is.”
“Kill him,” Jack rasped, nettles still in his throat.
“I wouldn’t listen to him,” Tosh said as she entered autopsy, the mangled corpse of the alien Jack and Owen had chased down that night on her arm. She trained her gun on Jack, and the other two did the same. “Tell us how to change things back.”
“I don’t know what you’re fucking talki-“
Jack stopped speaking as a bullet lodged in his chest. Ianto turned and stared at Owen in shock as the doctor put his gun back in the drawer of his desk. Before anyone could say a word, the alien body cried out in pain and fell, writhing, to the ground.
“What did you do?” Gwen cried out.
“I saved him,” Owen said. “And unless you want to be next, don’t touch it.” Owen grabbed a body bag and two pairs of gloves. As he ascended the stairs he handed a pair to Ianto. Slipping the other pair on himself he opened the body bag and laid it next to the alien body. Both men moved the mottled brown biped into the bag without making skin-to-skin contact and quickly closed up the bag. Carrying it down the steps, they dropped it onto the cement floor.
“But what about Jack?” Gwen questioned.
“If I’m right, which I often am, we’ll have Jack back in-“
There was a loud gasp from the stretcher, and a rattling of handcuffs as Jack tried to sit up to no avail. “Why am I handcuffed and naked? And who did that to my nipple? Ow.”
Ianto hurried and undid the forceps as Jack sucked in a lungful of air trying to not cry out from the sudden rush of blood to the area. Ianto then undid the rubber hose from Jack’s cock and held out his hand for the keys to the handcuffs. Owen rolled his eyes and pulled them from the drawer, handing the keys over. Undoing the handcuffs, Ianto stepped back, allowing Jack to sit up.
Rubbing his wrists, Jack looked around at his team, finally settling his eyes on Owen. “How did you know killing it would work?”
“I’m good at improvising, and it protested too much, worrying about me killing it. I know that wouldn’t have been a problem with you.”
“But what if it didn’t leave Jack’s body?” Tosh asked.
“Then we still had it tied up and vulnerable.”
“Just how did you get me in such a vulnerable position?” Jack asked, hopping down from the stretcher.
“Bloody… Fuck, I can’t tell you that. What if this happens again?” Owen headed back upstairs into the Hub. As he passed by Tosh, he whispered in her ear. “Please, for the bloody love of God, erase the CCTV for the last hour.” Tosh just smiled at him.
Owen slumped down into his chair, putting his feet up on the desk. The rest of the team tromped back in and took up positions by their respective desks. He glanced over, pleased to see Tosh working on the CCTV footage from inside the Hub. Ianto hurried over, shoving Jack’s clothes into his hands. Jack started to get dressed, pulling his pants on.
“How did you know it wasn’t Jack?” Gwen asked.
“I’m not a fucking idiot. There were signs,” Owen said, picking up a pen. He started twiddling with it between his fingers.
“What signs?” Gwen asked.
“It was too sane and normal to be our illustrious leader,” Owen snapped.
Suddenly Tosh made a choking noise by her computer. Everyone looked up and saw what had made her die - it was Owen deep-throating Jack in autopsy. Owen wished he could shapeshift and melt through the floor gratings.
“Alien or not, you still get vulnerable the same way, Sir,” Ianto quipped.
Series: Torchwood
Characters: Owen, Jack, Ianto, Gwen, Tosh
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Meat (TW 2.4)
Beta: firefly_124
Disclaimers: I do not own Torchwood or the characters therein, they belong to the BBC and RTD. Any original storylines, characters and places are my property.
Summary: Jack and Owen get some alone time in the Hub.
Author's Notes: This all started as an innocent Twitter conversation with facing_the_wind. I should know better than to let my mind wander the internet.
Oh, Captain
Owen Harper closed his mobile, looking up as Captain Jack Harkness swept into the Hub through the main cog door. Owen slid his leather jacket off, tossing it across the sofa. Jack looked around appraisingly. They were alone in the Hub.
“What do you want to do with the alien body?” Jack asked, stepping towards Owen. “I think we should dispose of it. Cremate it or something; make sure it’s gone for good.”
“I don’t think it’s going anywhere,” Owen said, turning to his desk. “It’s dead after all. It can stay in the boot of the SUV until I get a chance to autopsy it later.”
“Autopsy it? Why? Just get rid of it,” Jack said.
“We’ve never seen the species before. Tosh would be bloody pissed if we didn’t add it to the database.”
“Right. Tosh.” Jack took off his greatcoat and tossed it over Gwen’s desk. “Listen, why don’t you head home?”
Owen closed the program he had started running, inputting the coordinates from his and Jack’s excursion that night. He plastered a sinister smile on his face. Owen stood up slowly and moved towards Jack, reaching a hand out and tracing it up Jack’s arm.
“Everyone else is gone. They won’t be back until later tomorrow. We have the entire place to ourselves. I thought we would finally get some alone time. Why do you think I went with you into the field tonight?”
“Right. Alone time.” Jack wrapped his hands around Owen’s hips and pulled the doctor in to him. “What do you propose to do with this alone time?”
“I had a few things in mind,” Owen replied, grinning.
“And that would be?”
Owen pulled back and slapped Jack across the face, hard. Jack stumbled back in surprise and then rushed at Owen, grabbing Owen around the neck, pressing in with his fingers. Owen tried to not show fear nor choke himself.
“What the fuck do you think you are doi-“
“You like it rough,” Owen said. “Last time you had me leave you black and blue, but you came like nothing before that.”
Jack’s grip on his neck slowly loosened. “I did?”
“Yes, you did.” Owen put his hands over Jack’s and pulled them away from his neck. “If something’s wrong … if something’s different you can tell me.”
“Right. No, nothing’s wrong. You just took me by surprise.”
“I never take you by surprise.” “It’s been a long night. I think that creature took more out of me than I thought.”
“Then I think I know just the cure for that,” Owen said, holding Jack’s hands and leading him down into autopsy. Once down the stairs, Owen slid Jack’s braces off his shoulders and down his arms. One by one, Owen unbuckled Jack’s shirt. He ran his hands across Jack’s chest and under his t-shirt, pressing his fingers against Jack’s nipples.
“I don’t think you should be-“
Owen put a finger across Jack’s lips. “Nonsense, Jack. You know we both need this after the week we had. As if having Rhys killed wasn’t bad enough…” Owen let out a sigh and laid his head against Jack’s chest.
“Right. Killing Rhys was bad.”
“It put a big damper on the week, but it had to be done,” Owen said as he pulled Jack’s shirt and undershirt off. “Because of what Rhys was.”
“Right. Rhys was an alien. It had to be done.”
Owen leaned in, kissing Jack. His tongue pushed in, making Jack give in and open his mouth. As he continued to kiss Jack, Owen pushed the older man into the wall. Never breaking from the kiss, Owen opened a drawer and slipped two pairs of something silver into the pockets of his jeans.
Jack pulled away, breathless. “That was amazing.”
“It was okay.” Owen continued to kiss Jack, moving them around the room as he tasted every ounce of his Captain. Jack jerked away as they bumped into the stretcher in the middle of the room. Owen continued to kiss Jack, little nibbles down his throat, to his chest. Flicking his tongue out, Owen traced it along the outside of Jack’s left nipple.
Jack let out a moan, shutting his eyes as Owen closed his mouth around the nipple and sucked on it. Owen flicked his tongue up and down and while Jack seemed to slump against the stretcher, Owen pulled out the first pair of silver handcuffs from his pockets, slapping it closed against Jack’s wrist.
Jack’s eyes snapped open as Owen closed the other handcuff in the open hole at the top corner of the stretcher, around the metal frame. “What are you doing?” Jack jerked his hand around in the cuff.
Owen looked crestfallen. “But you like bondage so much; I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“Right. What I want.” Jack took a deep breath. “Where were we?”
“I was about to move over here,” Owen said as his lips pressed against Jack’s other nipple. Jack moaned again as he sat down on the stretcher. Owen crawled up Jack, straddling his boss’s lap, and pushed him down on the stretcher. Owen began to lick Jack’s chest, working his way back up to Jack’s neck. Nibbling on the neck, Owen slid the other pair of handcuffs out of his jeans and before Jack could breathe again, he bit down on Jack’s flesh and ratcheted the other cuffs on Jack’s spare wrist. Moving quickly he attached the other handcuff to the opposite frame of the stretcher, leaving Jack’s arms spread above his head.
“What are you doing?” Jack wrestled with the handcuffs.
“You look so bloody gorgeous like that,” Owen said, trailing his hand up and down Jack’s legs. His hand stopped at the fly of Jack’s trousers and Owen undid the button and zipper.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting you more comfortable.” With one move Owen yanked down Jack’s trousers and pants down to his ankles. Undoing the other man’s boots, Owen finally divested Jack of all his clothing, leaving him handcuffed to the stretcher in autopsy, naked as could be.
Jack continued to squirm and twist in the handcuffs. Owen slapped him hard on the stomach. Jack stilled as Owen wrapped his fingers around Jack’s cock. With measured jerks, Owen worked Jack up and down. As Jack grew harder, his other hand fondled and played with Jack’s balls. Lowering his head down, Owen moved his hands away and began to suck on Jack, bobbing his head up and down, tongue pressing against the vein on the underside of his cock. Jack moaned even more lewdly and then screamed as Owen bit down.
“What the fuck! Are you trying to kill me?”
“I would never try to kill you.” Owen looked at him astonished. “How could you think such a thing? I know you like it rough, the harder the better.”
“Right. Rough.” Jack looked down his body at Owen. “Just don’t get so rough you kill me. I don’t want to die.”
“Sure thing,” Owen said as his fingers began to play with Jack’s crotch. They lingered downwards and tickled along his bum. Owen’s mobile beeped and he stepped away. Pulling it out of his pocket. He typed away on the keypad and hit ‘send’ before turning his attention back to Jack.
“What was that?”
“Ianto checking in. I told him he could stay home tonight. I had everything covered.”
“Right. I don’t need Ianto.”
“Exactly, he doesn’t do anything important around here.” Owen stroked up and down Jack’s dick, playing with the tip. Once Jack was rock hard, Owen grabbed a length of rubber tubing and tied it around the base of Jack’s cock. He then began to slap Jack’s length with the flat of his hand, feeling himself get hard at Jack’s every grunt, moan and cry. Owen grabbed a pair of forceps and walked around Jack, stopping next to the man. His fingers began to caress Jack’s nipple and he could feel it turn into a hard pebble. Grabbing the nipple, he pulled it outwards, and clamped the forceps down under the base. Jack’s scream filled autopsy.
“Are you seriously trying to kill me?” Jack asked in between gasping breaths.
“You know you love it,” Owen said, kissing Jack on the lips and shutting him up.
“Right,” Jack said as Owen pulled away. Owen headed up the stairs towards the main area of the Hub. “Where are you going?”
“I’ll be right back,” Owen replied as he ducked into the work area and then into the small kitchenette. Opening the door to the refrigerator he looked around for anything interesting. Jack wasn’t allergic to any foods, so he couldn’t pain him that way. It was then that he spotted the leftovers from Tosh’s lunch. “This’ll work.”
Hurrying back down to autopsy, he pulled one of the metal carts over and dropped the take-away container onto it, grabbing a scalpel as well. He smiled at Jack, who looked at him almost in fear. Opening the container, he unwrapped the steamed artichoke heart. Taking the scalpel, Owen sliced off a small section of the tender part of the heart. He held it out to Jack who refused to open his mouth. Owen chuckled and ate it himself. He then sliced off another tender piece.
“Please? For me?”
Jack sighed and opened his mouth, letting Owen feed him. He grimaced at first, but swallowed. Owen ate another piece of the tender bit and then hunked off the spiny, deceptive, bottom of the artichoke heart. It looked tender, but was hell on the throat, spikes sticking out in every direction, not letting you swallow, making you want to gag. He held it to Jack’s mouth. Jack opened up and Owen shoved the whole thing between the Captain’s lips. Jack tried to chew it, but began to gag. Owen grabbed some surgical tape and ripped off a piece, putting it over Jack’s mouth.
Jack wrestled around on the stretcher, choking, gasping for air, wanting to projectile the vile thing stuck in his throat. Tears started streaming down his face as Owen grabbed him by the cock and squeezed, hard. Jack tried screaming through the gag.
“That’s enough.” Owen looked up to see Ianto standing above him by the railing to autopsy, a gun trained on them.
“Shit, and I was just starting to have fun,” Owen said, ripping the surgical tape off Jack’s face. He grabbed a pan and held it under Jack’s chin as he spit and coughed the vile green vegetable back up.
“He’s trying to kill me, shoot him,” Jack sputtered out.
“He can be a bit of a prick, but I don’t think he deserves to be killed,” Gwen said as she entered autopsy, gun in hand, trained on Jack and Owen.
Owen stepped back towards his desk, away from his teammates. “All I was doing was treating Jack like the man he is.”
“Kill him,” Jack rasped, nettles still in his throat.
“I wouldn’t listen to him,” Tosh said as she entered autopsy, the mangled corpse of the alien Jack and Owen had chased down that night on her arm. She trained her gun on Jack, and the other two did the same. “Tell us how to change things back.”
“I don’t know what you’re fucking talki-“
Jack stopped speaking as a bullet lodged in his chest. Ianto turned and stared at Owen in shock as the doctor put his gun back in the drawer of his desk. Before anyone could say a word, the alien body cried out in pain and fell, writhing, to the ground.
“What did you do?” Gwen cried out.
“I saved him,” Owen said. “And unless you want to be next, don’t touch it.” Owen grabbed a body bag and two pairs of gloves. As he ascended the stairs he handed a pair to Ianto. Slipping the other pair on himself he opened the body bag and laid it next to the alien body. Both men moved the mottled brown biped into the bag without making skin-to-skin contact and quickly closed up the bag. Carrying it down the steps, they dropped it onto the cement floor.
“But what about Jack?” Gwen questioned.
“If I’m right, which I often am, we’ll have Jack back in-“
There was a loud gasp from the stretcher, and a rattling of handcuffs as Jack tried to sit up to no avail. “Why am I handcuffed and naked? And who did that to my nipple? Ow.”
Ianto hurried and undid the forceps as Jack sucked in a lungful of air trying to not cry out from the sudden rush of blood to the area. Ianto then undid the rubber hose from Jack’s cock and held out his hand for the keys to the handcuffs. Owen rolled his eyes and pulled them from the drawer, handing the keys over. Undoing the handcuffs, Ianto stepped back, allowing Jack to sit up.
Rubbing his wrists, Jack looked around at his team, finally settling his eyes on Owen. “How did you know killing it would work?”
“I’m good at improvising, and it protested too much, worrying about me killing it. I know that wouldn’t have been a problem with you.”
“But what if it didn’t leave Jack’s body?” Tosh asked.
“Then we still had it tied up and vulnerable.”
“Just how did you get me in such a vulnerable position?” Jack asked, hopping down from the stretcher.
“Bloody… Fuck, I can’t tell you that. What if this happens again?” Owen headed back upstairs into the Hub. As he passed by Tosh, he whispered in her ear. “Please, for the bloody love of God, erase the CCTV for the last hour.” Tosh just smiled at him.
Owen slumped down into his chair, putting his feet up on the desk. The rest of the team tromped back in and took up positions by their respective desks. He glanced over, pleased to see Tosh working on the CCTV footage from inside the Hub. Ianto hurried over, shoving Jack’s clothes into his hands. Jack started to get dressed, pulling his pants on.
“How did you know it wasn’t Jack?” Gwen asked.
“I’m not a fucking idiot. There were signs,” Owen said, picking up a pen. He started twiddling with it between his fingers.
“What signs?” Gwen asked.
“It was too sane and normal to be our illustrious leader,” Owen snapped.
Suddenly Tosh made a choking noise by her computer. Everyone looked up and saw what had made her die - it was Owen deep-throating Jack in autopsy. Owen wished he could shapeshift and melt through the floor gratings.
“Alien or not, you still get vulnerable the same way, Sir,” Ianto quipped.