my only regrets
I've not even been out of school for a year and I already wish I could go back and redo my high school years. I would love to go back and get good grades and not be angry with my parents and not think that by not doing anything in school I'd be getting back at them. I wish I could go back and know what I wanted to be and know what shool I wanted to attend after I graduate. I wish I could go back and not be scared that if I tried 100% that I might fail at whatever it was.
I also wish that I wasn't so fucussed on trying to change myself to get the attention of someone that didn't deserve it. Someone who wouldn't really ever look at me as someone he could like. I wish I would have known that there was someone so much better out there for me and that I'd never get him. I wish I didn't start doing drugs and smoking and drinking because I thought at first that if I was more like him he might return the same feelings I felt for him and then after I realized that it was my innocence that attracted him to me at all I did all those things because in my mind I was getting back at him when in reality he didn't really care. I wish I could have seen how not good he was for me and had the strength to forget about him. I feel tainted with all the things I did to myself for something so stupid.
I also wish that I wasn't so fucussed on trying to change myself to get the attention of someone that didn't deserve it. Someone who wouldn't really ever look at me as someone he could like. I wish I would have known that there was someone so much better out there for me and that I'd never get him. I wish I didn't start doing drugs and smoking and drinking because I thought at first that if I was more like him he might return the same feelings I felt for him and then after I realized that it was my innocence that attracted him to me at all I did all those things because in my mind I was getting back at him when in reality he didn't really care. I wish I could have seen how not good he was for me and had the strength to forget about him. I feel tainted with all the things I did to myself for something so stupid.