(no subject)
my away message:
here i go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you, you are my only one...i let go, and there's no one, no one like you. you are my only, my only one...my only, my only one............"Only One" by Yellowcard <-- that goes out to the guy who broke my heart, picked up the pieces and threw them into my empty soul.
Okay, so I guess I'm a little depressed. Just a little bit. I don't know what to think anymore. I wish that I lived down in Southern Cali again...part of me wants to leave here so bad, seriously. :( Sometimes it's just so bad and I can't stand it. I can't stand school. It feels like I can't be myself. I feel like there's something wrong, like I'm not "good enough" to be there. I feel like none of my friends really see me as I really am. It's almost like I have to be someone else in order to hang out with them. I don't want anyone to think that I'm ungrateful, because I'm not. It's just how everyone makes me feel. I feel like every day I wake up, from that exact moment until I come back home I am being watched. Watched by a group of hawks...If I put one toe out of line, they'd probably kill me.
Okay...now I feel better about it. But I really do miss Southern Cali. I miss Ventura so much and I miss my old friends. Even though I only spent my childhood there, it feels like I had been there so much longer. I never talk to Kendra anymore, I don't even know if she still lives there or not. Ari and I talk online once in a great while. I want to go down and see her this Christmas! :) That'd be so freakin' awesome!
Omgosh, Kerri wants me to go with her to Mexico during Spring Break...!!!! eeekk!! =D That would be so cool!!!!!!!! She already asked her mom if it was okay if I came with them, and her mom said yes! Omgosh, they have a condo down there and stuff, so it sounds like we'd have so much effin fun...I can just imagine it now, lol! I have to convince my rents that it's a good idea that I go with Kerri. We're trying to think of ways to convice my rents, and we thought that maybe we could get together sometime like during winter break and that way they could meet each other and talk about it and stuff. Even though Kerri and I haven't seen each other in like 5 years, we still talk on the phone all the time, and online too and it's like we really trust each other. I can totally trust her with anything. I mean, seriously, she's awesum, and we don't even go to the same school or anything like that. I totally understand her though, and she understands me too and that's really cool...
I'm talking to Virginia on the cell phone and she's recording me saying stuff...HA HA HA! I forgot what I was gonna say!! Omgosh, I don't think that I sound like that on the phone....lol. Now I'm listening to what she recorded me saying. wow...do I really sound like that? omgosh, that's really weird, I sound like a blonde. lmao and i have black hair!!!
Alrite, well i've gotta go!! xoxox
* Lyssa *
here i go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you, you are my only one...i let go, and there's no one, no one like you. you are my only, my only one...my only, my only one............"Only One" by Yellowcard <-- that goes out to the guy who broke my heart, picked up the pieces and threw them into my empty soul.
Okay, so I guess I'm a little depressed. Just a little bit. I don't know what to think anymore. I wish that I lived down in Southern Cali again...part of me wants to leave here so bad, seriously. :( Sometimes it's just so bad and I can't stand it. I can't stand school. It feels like I can't be myself. I feel like there's something wrong, like I'm not "good enough" to be there. I feel like none of my friends really see me as I really am. It's almost like I have to be someone else in order to hang out with them. I don't want anyone to think that I'm ungrateful, because I'm not. It's just how everyone makes me feel. I feel like every day I wake up, from that exact moment until I come back home I am being watched. Watched by a group of hawks...If I put one toe out of line, they'd probably kill me.
Okay...now I feel better about it. But I really do miss Southern Cali. I miss Ventura so much and I miss my old friends. Even though I only spent my childhood there, it feels like I had been there so much longer. I never talk to Kendra anymore, I don't even know if she still lives there or not. Ari and I talk online once in a great while. I want to go down and see her this Christmas! :) That'd be so freakin' awesome!
Omgosh, Kerri wants me to go with her to Mexico during Spring Break...!!!! eeekk!! =D That would be so cool!!!!!!!! She already asked her mom if it was okay if I came with them, and her mom said yes! Omgosh, they have a condo down there and stuff, so it sounds like we'd have so much effin fun...I can just imagine it now, lol! I have to convince my rents that it's a good idea that I go with Kerri. We're trying to think of ways to convice my rents, and we thought that maybe we could get together sometime like during winter break and that way they could meet each other and talk about it and stuff. Even though Kerri and I haven't seen each other in like 5 years, we still talk on the phone all the time, and online too and it's like we really trust each other. I can totally trust her with anything. I mean, seriously, she's awesum, and we don't even go to the same school or anything like that. I totally understand her though, and she understands me too and that's really cool...
I'm talking to Virginia on the cell phone and she's recording me saying stuff...HA HA HA! I forgot what I was gonna say!! Omgosh, I don't think that I sound like that on the phone....lol. Now I'm listening to what she recorded me saying. wow...do I really sound like that? omgosh, that's really weird, I sound like a blonde. lmao and i have black hair!!!
Alrite, well i've gotta go!! xoxox
* Lyssa *