Why?
Title: Why?
Author: hunters_retreat
Series: Story's End
Pairing:Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It was far more than Sam had ever expected to hear from his brother without being forced to talk about it but Sam didn’t give his brother time to run away.
Author's Note: So I finally got around to doing a little writing and I wanted to address what happened here.... but they won't let me :( I am trying to wrap up some of my verses but these boys still have a story to tell... We'll see where they lead us. But here it is. Sorry it isn't longer, but this is the story they wanted.
Just like any good hunter, Sam knew how to block and evade a hit. He knew when to go in for the strike and he knew when to hold back. He knew how to hustle and how to play the long game. He knew when to smile and play innocent and when to let his anger take control.
This wasn’t hunting.
This was nothing he knew how to handle.
Sam stared down at his notebook and listened to Dean banging around the house behind him. It had been two weeks since what Sam referred to in his head as hell come true. He’d fallen asleep in his brother’s bed and woken up hard as nails and with Dean, still asleep, enacting his fantasies on his brother. Dean couldn’t say it wasn’t Sam he’d been dreaming about; he’d said Sam’s name too many times to be anything else, but Dean refused to talk about it.
That night, after avoiding each other all day, Sam had found the courage to seek his brother’s bed again. He didn’t want to talk about his inappropriate feelings, but if Dean had them too, why couldn’t they be okay with that? They didn’t have a normal relationship, what else was new? It was a new level of fucked up, even for them, but after growing up as hunters and then taking care of each other after their Dad died, who could tell them what was appropriate and what wasn’t? Who had that right?
It hadn’t worked like he’d planned though. Dean had let Sam back into his bed, but as soon as Sam had tried to relax into Dean, to let Dean know that he still wanted something more, Dean had left the room without a word, and slept on the couch.
Two weeks, and Dean still hadn’t spoken about it. When Sam tried, Dean ran. There was no subtlety to it either. He just walked out of the room, or closed a door between them. He’d never felt further away from his brother than he did now.
“See ya later, Sammy,” Dean said as he nearly ran past Sam on his way out the door.
He’d gone out every night since, sometimes for drinks in town, sometimes to the city to do god knew what. Sam had a vivid enough imagination to guess. It hurt to watch him running out once again and Sam didn’t bother to hide his anger.
“Have fun finding my replacement,” he called out.
Dean stopped at the door, his hand on the knob, but he didn’t look back before he pushed forward and kept going. Sam glared at the door for a few minutes, then decided he might as well put on something to deaden his brain for a few hours.
It wasn’t the jingle of keys that woke Sam from where he’d fallen asleep on the couch. It was the car driving away. Sam looked out the window quickly to see a taxi pulling away. Fuck. He didn’t want to deal with Dean’s drunken bravado tonight.
He heard his brother’s keys rattling in the door and a moment later Dean stumbled in. He wasn’t fall down drunk, which was nice, but there was definitely a stumble over the doorway and Dean’s usually steady hands barely got his keys in the basket by the door.
“Hey Sammy, you didn’t have to wait up,” Dean said with a smile on his face.
As much as Sam wanted to ignore his brother, he missed hanging out with him these last two weeks. Having his attention, for even a few moments, was worth whatever else happened.
“Fell asleep watching… I don’t even know. Some superhero flick. Have a good time?”
Dean kicked his shoes off by the door and dropped onto the couch beside Sam. “Yeah. Drank too much. Need to pick up the Impala tomorrow. Mind giving me a ride in the morning?”
Sam wondered if he’d want that ride in the morning, but neither of them had anywhere to be the next day and at least it was a chance to talk to Dean when he couldn’t run away.
“Yeah, sure. I’d say don’t wake me up too early, but I doubt you’ll be up early tomorrow anyway.”
Dean closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the couch. “Not that bad, I just didn’t want to drive my Baby into a ditch.”
“Uh hu.” As much as Sam wanted to press the issue and talk to Dean, Sam knew it wasn’t the right time or place. “Get to bed Dean.”
Dean looked over at him, his eyes suddenly wide. “Yeah… I should just…”
He got up and started to leave the room and Sam tried not to watch him go. Dean stopped at the doorway to the hallway and looked back at Sam.
“Whatever that was, Sam. It can’t happen again. You know that. Right?”
It was far more than Sam had ever expected to hear from his brother without being forced to talk about it but Sam didn’t give his brother time to run away.
“Why?”
“What?” Dean turned to look at Sam.
“Why can’t it happen again?”
“You can’t seriously be asking me that, Sam. I’m your brother.”
“I noticed that. I noticed that it doesn’t mean a damn thing. You and I aren’t normal people, Dean. We didn’t grow up like most people. I’m okay with who we are. Why can’t you be?”
Dean’s eyes closed as he let out a deep breath. He just shook his head. “Good night Sam.”
Sam didn’t follow. He didn’t say anything else. He simply watched his brother walk down the hall back to his bed. He shut the door behind him and Sam let out a deep breath as he let his head drop to the back of the couch and try to figure out what to do next.
On to Just A Fact
Author: hunters_retreat
Series: Story's End
Pairing:Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It was far more than Sam had ever expected to hear from his brother without being forced to talk about it but Sam didn’t give his brother time to run away.
Author's Note: So I finally got around to doing a little writing and I wanted to address what happened here.... but they won't let me :( I am trying to wrap up some of my verses but these boys still have a story to tell... We'll see where they lead us. But here it is. Sorry it isn't longer, but this is the story they wanted.
Just like any good hunter, Sam knew how to block and evade a hit. He knew when to go in for the strike and he knew when to hold back. He knew how to hustle and how to play the long game. He knew when to smile and play innocent and when to let his anger take control.
This wasn’t hunting.
This was nothing he knew how to handle.
Sam stared down at his notebook and listened to Dean banging around the house behind him. It had been two weeks since what Sam referred to in his head as hell come true. He’d fallen asleep in his brother’s bed and woken up hard as nails and with Dean, still asleep, enacting his fantasies on his brother. Dean couldn’t say it wasn’t Sam he’d been dreaming about; he’d said Sam’s name too many times to be anything else, but Dean refused to talk about it.
That night, after avoiding each other all day, Sam had found the courage to seek his brother’s bed again. He didn’t want to talk about his inappropriate feelings, but if Dean had them too, why couldn’t they be okay with that? They didn’t have a normal relationship, what else was new? It was a new level of fucked up, even for them, but after growing up as hunters and then taking care of each other after their Dad died, who could tell them what was appropriate and what wasn’t? Who had that right?
It hadn’t worked like he’d planned though. Dean had let Sam back into his bed, but as soon as Sam had tried to relax into Dean, to let Dean know that he still wanted something more, Dean had left the room without a word, and slept on the couch.
Two weeks, and Dean still hadn’t spoken about it. When Sam tried, Dean ran. There was no subtlety to it either. He just walked out of the room, or closed a door between them. He’d never felt further away from his brother than he did now.
“See ya later, Sammy,” Dean said as he nearly ran past Sam on his way out the door.
He’d gone out every night since, sometimes for drinks in town, sometimes to the city to do god knew what. Sam had a vivid enough imagination to guess. It hurt to watch him running out once again and Sam didn’t bother to hide his anger.
“Have fun finding my replacement,” he called out.
Dean stopped at the door, his hand on the knob, but he didn’t look back before he pushed forward and kept going. Sam glared at the door for a few minutes, then decided he might as well put on something to deaden his brain for a few hours.
It wasn’t the jingle of keys that woke Sam from where he’d fallen asleep on the couch. It was the car driving away. Sam looked out the window quickly to see a taxi pulling away. Fuck. He didn’t want to deal with Dean’s drunken bravado tonight.
He heard his brother’s keys rattling in the door and a moment later Dean stumbled in. He wasn’t fall down drunk, which was nice, but there was definitely a stumble over the doorway and Dean’s usually steady hands barely got his keys in the basket by the door.
“Hey Sammy, you didn’t have to wait up,” Dean said with a smile on his face.
As much as Sam wanted to ignore his brother, he missed hanging out with him these last two weeks. Having his attention, for even a few moments, was worth whatever else happened.
“Fell asleep watching… I don’t even know. Some superhero flick. Have a good time?”
Dean kicked his shoes off by the door and dropped onto the couch beside Sam. “Yeah. Drank too much. Need to pick up the Impala tomorrow. Mind giving me a ride in the morning?”
Sam wondered if he’d want that ride in the morning, but neither of them had anywhere to be the next day and at least it was a chance to talk to Dean when he couldn’t run away.
“Yeah, sure. I’d say don’t wake me up too early, but I doubt you’ll be up early tomorrow anyway.”
Dean closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the couch. “Not that bad, I just didn’t want to drive my Baby into a ditch.”
“Uh hu.” As much as Sam wanted to press the issue and talk to Dean, Sam knew it wasn’t the right time or place. “Get to bed Dean.”
Dean looked over at him, his eyes suddenly wide. “Yeah… I should just…”
He got up and started to leave the room and Sam tried not to watch him go. Dean stopped at the doorway to the hallway and looked back at Sam.
“Whatever that was, Sam. It can’t happen again. You know that. Right?”
It was far more than Sam had ever expected to hear from his brother without being forced to talk about it but Sam didn’t give his brother time to run away.
“Why?”
“What?” Dean turned to look at Sam.
“Why can’t it happen again?”
“You can’t seriously be asking me that, Sam. I’m your brother.”
“I noticed that. I noticed that it doesn’t mean a damn thing. You and I aren’t normal people, Dean. We didn’t grow up like most people. I’m okay with who we are. Why can’t you be?”
Dean’s eyes closed as he let out a deep breath. He just shook his head. “Good night Sam.”
Sam didn’t follow. He didn’t say anything else. He simply watched his brother walk down the hall back to his bed. He shut the door behind him and Sam let out a deep breath as he let his head drop to the back of the couch and try to figure out what to do next.
On to Just A Fact