Choices (Part Four)

Feb 12, 2016 22:42

Title: Choices
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17 for violence and overall themes.
Word Count: 25K+
Warning: Slavery, mentions of past rape, past non-con/dub-con, torture,
Summary: Jensen Ackles was a man on the run.  Sure, his name was revered by the Sentient Android Rights Movement, but he was just another face in a sea of J-N_S56s.  He had won his freedom in a court of law, but his previous Mistress and Master cared little for the law.  Jensen had been on the run for almost ten years and he'd stayed free because he was smart and kept to himself.

When Jensen met Jared, he tossed him out the door as soon as he could.  Jared wasn't pushed away so easily though.  Jared came back but unfortunately, so did Jensen's former mistress.  On the run with Jared at his side, Jensen struggles with his emotions, and the fear that his programming might be taking over.  Jared is far more tempting than anything Jensen has ever faced.  How can he keep them both safe when he's fighting with himself while on the run from the people who want to put him back in a gilded cage?

**

Jared returned when the sky turned dark.  He hadn’t gone far, Jensen knew that.  After a call like that, Jensen would have followed at least close enough to be able to hear him.  Jared seemed to want to keep him close as well.  He kept to himself but he never went out of earshot.

Jensen finished the book he’d picked up and watched as Jared paced around the living room.  He needed to break the silence that had started to grown between them since the diner.    There was nothing he could say that would change the truth of what had happened, but maybe he didn’t need to do that.  Maybe, Jared just needed to know that they were still okay.

Jensen left the book on the kitchen table and walked to the other end of the trailer.  He walked up the three stairs to the other room and smiled at Jared.  “So, we gonna watch something or what?”

Jared just watched him for a minute before he turned to the television and turned it on.  Jensen turned the lights off and sat on the couch in front of the movie.  He could have scooted over a little more and given Jared some space but Jensen didn’t want that tonight.  He wanted to sit so close their knees brushed and their shoulders bumped.

When Jared sat next to him, he looked over and gave Jensen a small smile.  “Ready to start?”

“You bet.”

They were ten minutes into the classic Star Wars movie before the tension in Jared’s body finally faded away as he got involved in the plot.  Jensen was more interested in Jared but he tried to keep his eyes on the screen.  Jensen felt more at peace with himself than he ever had been with Jared beside him.  The way Jared’s shoulder brushed against his or how their knees knocked together from time to time, it all felt like home to Jensen.  It wasn’t something he’d felt before and he didn’t know what to do with it now.  He needed to let this go because Jared could still get away from all this and have a normal life.  All Jensen could offer him was a life on the run.

As he watched Jared though, Jensen realized Jared had been on the run from something else for a long time.  Whatever it was that Jim had hinted at, it was something dark and buried deep in who Jared was.  Without thought, Jensen reached over and cupped his hand around Jared’s chin and tilted his head to look at him.

Jared didn’t pull away and Jensen could see the desire in his eyes.  How he’d kept it hidden from Jensen for so long, he didn’t know, but he’d seen it now and it was all he needed.  He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Jared’s.

He didn’t expect Jared to open to him the way he did, nor did he expect Jared to wrap his arms around Jensen and pull him into his lap, but Jensen wanted everything Jared would give him.  It had been so long since he’d felt anything like desire for another person, since he’d even let himself touch someone else, and he craved it now.

Jared pulled back slightly and Jensen tried to chase his lips but Jared brought his hands up to Jensen’s shoulders and stopped him.
“Jensen, I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have-“

“Jared,” his voice was dark with lust but Jensen couldn’t hide it.  He didn’t want to hide what he felt for Jared anymore.  After a taste of his lips, Jensen wasn’t sure he could even manage damage control.

“I just … I need to know this is you, Jensen,” Jared looked him in the eyes as he spoke.  “I need to know you want this and this isn’t just programming.  I can … I want you.  I’ve tried not to because I don’t want you to think that I helped you or I ran with you because I expected something.  I want you, Jensen, not the S56.  If you don’t want me, I can handle that, but I can’t let this happen if this is just your programming and not what you really want.”

“The first time I saw you, my programming told me all the things you could do to me Jared, all the things I could do to you.  I won’t lie about that.  You’re incredibly attractive and you have an amazing body and the processes in my head told me how to seduce you, how to tempt you, because that’s what I’m programmed to do.  But I didn’t.  I kicked you out because the last thing I wanted to do was follow my programming.  I still don’t.  This isn’t about making you feel good, Jared.  It’s about something I want.  Something for me.  For the first time, I get to choose, and I choose you.  If you want me.”

Jared’s eyes were wide as Jensen spoke but his hands had crept down from his shoulders to rest on Jensen’s hips.  Jared didn’t answer with words, but his arms pulled Jensen close and he kissed him softly, like he was something precious.  Jensen had been kissed plenty of times before, but nothing compared to feel of Jared, to the knowledge that Jared saw him for who he was and wanted him anyway.

Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared’s shoulders and settled more firmly into Jared’s lap.  Jared moaned into the kiss and Jensen felt dizzy with the desire that ran between them.  He had no idea how long they kissed but his lips tingled with sensation when Jared pulled back again.  This time he rested his forehead against Jensen’s.

“Didn’t we come up here to watch a movie?” he asked.

Jensen knew what Jared was doing.  Jared wanted to take this slow, didn’t want to rush into anything because he wanted to be sure this was what Jensen wanted.  If it was just about that, Jensen would have protested and pushed Jared back to the bedroom, but there was more at stake.

Jensen was on the run and he couldn’t trap Jared in that life.  So he let Jared break the moment, even though they were both hard and wanting.  He took a deep breath and smiled at Jared who looked amazingly disheveled and a half breath from kissing Jensen again.

“I came up here to make sure we were alright,” he said.  “After the phone call, I wasn’t sure.”

Jensen brought it up on purpose.  Whatever Jim had commented on, it had blackened Jared’s mood for a long time before he’d come back in the trailer.  It had the same effect now.  He gently moved Jensen out of his lap and dropped his head to the back of the couch.

“We’re alright,” Jared said as he let out a deep breath.  He looked at Jensen and smiled, but it wasn’t as carefree as it had been earlier.  “More than,” he assured Jensen.  He reached over and kissed Jensen again, this time something chaste, but when Jared pulled back there was a fond smile on his face.

Jensen matched it.  He leaned back on the couch and as much as he planned to let Jared go once this was done, he couldn’t deny himself what little comfort he could take from the situation.  When Jared put his arm up over the top of the couch, Jensen moved closer until he could lean against Jared.  He dropped his head to rest on the other man’s shoulder and closed his eyes when he felt Jared’s arm around him.

He didn’t know how to describe what he felt in that moment.  It wasn’t about love or lust or need.  Being in Jared’s arms in such an innocent way, the lights darkened, and a movie in front of them, with no intention of anything deeper no matter how much he knew they both wanted, it was as close to his vision of home as he’d ever had.   Someone who loved him for who he was.  Someone who understood his dark days and helped him find ways to see past it.  Someone who could want him even with what they’d made him to be, but who saw him instead of the wrapping he’d been put in.

He felt a lump rise in his throat but he swallowed it down.  He couldn’t do this now.  He couldn’t have this.  Jensen had stayed free as long as he had because he’d been practical about his attachments.  He knew he didn’t have the distance from Jared that he needed, but in the end he’d do right by him and let him go.  It was a good thing his Mistress had wanted a masochist though, because Jensen was made to enjoy pain and letting himself have these small moments with Jared was the sweetest torture he’d ever endured.

When the movie ended, Jared got up and turned it off.  He reached a hand out for Jensen and he took it.  Neither said a word as Jared led them back to the bedroom.  Jared turned his back and stripped out of his clothes and Jensen did the same.  When he slid between the sheets of the bed they shared, but had never been in together, Jared reached for him.

They shared languid kisses until Jared pulled Jensen in against him, Jensen’s head on Jared’s shoulder.  “Good night, Jensen,” he said quietly.

Jensen wasn’t sure he was strong enough for this, to know what it felt like to fall asleep with Jared, to wake with him, but he couldn’t find it in himself to move away.  Instead, he curled his body in towards Jared even more.  “Good night, Jared.”

As much as Jensen hated his programming, sometimes, he wondered what it would have been like to remain nothing more than an android.  He would have bedded Jared already and wouldn’t have missed a night’s sleep over it.  He wouldn’t have his heart pound away in his chest at the thought of what might happen to him.  He’d never have been tormented with the thought of what they could be like together, if they had a future.

Jensen wanted it all.  But most of all, he wanted Jared safe.  That was how he knew it wasn’t just programming that had brought him here all along.  It was love, and love fucked everything up.

**

Jensen woke when Jared shifted gently.  He felt the press of lips to his own and he opened without hesitation.  Jared’s hand gripped his hip and pulled their bodies closer together.  Jensen moaned into it and he felt Jared’s smile against his lips.

“Morning,” Jared said quietly.

Jensen opened his eyes and looked up at the other man.  He wanted to sleep in but there was something almost decadent in the thought of lazy morning kisses and a day spent in bed.  He brought his leg up over Jared’s hip and thrust his hips up lightly.  Jared moaned as their bodies rubbed together in all the right places.  Jensen laughed softly as he kissed Jared’s neck.  “Good morning.”

“Jensen,” Jared leaned over him and pushed his back down onto the mattress as he hovered over him.  Jensen shivered with desire and Jared kissed him softly while one hand roamed up and down Jensen’s side.  Jensen wanted more, he wanted everything, but he needed to stop this from going any further.

He was saved from the choice when Jared’s phone rang.  Jared looked up at Jensen, startled, but he grabbed his phone from the bedside table and dropped his feet to the side of the bed.  His back was to Jensen but Jensen moved in closer until his chest was pressed to Jared’s naked back.

“Jim?”

“Get out, Jared.”

Jensen moved quickly then, grabbed his clothes and dressed as he threw Jared’s clothes up on the bed.  He listened to the rest of the conversation but he had already started the mental list of things they needed to get away.

“I don’t know what happened but we just intercepted a message that said they’d found him.  Get out now,” Jim said on the phone.
Jared looked at Jensen and saw his own pile of clothes and began to dress as he spoke.

“Any idea where they are, or how many?”

“None.  I thought you boys were keeping low?”

“We are!” Jared protested.

“Someone saw you at a diner.  Took pictures and sent them to the right people.  Tell me where you are and I’ll send law enforcement.”

“We’re on the move,” Jared said.  “Just keep me updated if you hear anything else.”

Jensen didn’t know why he didn’t involve the police but Jensen was grateful.  They would just slow him down.  If they got there in time and made an arrest, it would be the wrong people anyway.  It was Morgan and Harris that were behind it all and they were too smart to be caught.

“Jared, be careful.”

“Thanks, Jim.  I’ll talk to you when we’re safe.”

Jared slipped the phone into his pocket and looked at Jensen.  “Will it take more time to pack, or to unhook the RV from the site?”

Jensen grabbed three bags from the floor of the closet.  “Already packed.  Let’s go.”

There was something in Jared’s eyes that Jensen didn’t like, but he couldn’t think about it just yet.  Jensen had always known they’d be found.  It took a couple close calls before he was able to get away from the people his Mistress sent after him.  He just hoped Jared didn’t hate him before this was all over.  Jensen had grown used to the fear of capture, but this wasn’t Jared’s life.  He could only hope Jared understood that he wanted to protect him.  That in the end, he’d remember Jensen had tried to send him away in the beginning.

The truck wasn’t attached to the RV so Jensen threw the bags in and Jared jumped into the passenger seat.  They were on the road in less than fifteen minutes from the call but every minute made Jensen’s heart beat faster.

“Where are we going to go Jensen?” Jared asked as they pulled out of the forest and onto a main street.  He took it away from the town they’d visited.

“I don’t know.  Away.  Once we get a few hours between us and this place, we’ll figure it out.”

Jensen stopped at a stop sign and closed his eyes for a minute.  He knew of places that he could hide, but most of them he had been hidden in plain sight.  He couldn’t take Jared to one of those places.  Being one in a group of S56’s made him invisible.  Jared would make him stand out because Jared would never treat him like just an android.

Jensen had never gone to the east coast so he decided that would be the best route.  He didn’t know where to go for help there, but it meant no one could track him by past experiences either.  He looked at Jared and gave him a small smile.  Jared set his hand on Jensen’s knee and squeezed softly.  He didn’t take his hand away and Jensen took strength from that.

He pulled the truck away from the stop and headed out of town.  He was five minutes gone when another truck ran a stop sign and rammed into them.

The car twisted and the frame bent as the truck hit.  Jensen’s sensors shut off for a moment when it became too much to process but he when they came back online, the truck was still.

“Jared?”

Jensen had to break the seat belt to get out of it but Jared hadn’t moved and he didn’t answer Jensen’s call.  He moved across the seat and saw a head wound that could have caused Jared to be unconscious.  Jensen could hear his heartbeat and it was steady, if not as strong as normal.  “Jared, come on man,” he said as he tried to wake Jared up.

The door behind Jensen swung open and he barely had time to realize his mistake as the other drive pulled a Taser out and pointed it at him.  Jensen had been tasered before.  His Mistress liked the idea that she controlled the electrical currents that ran through his body.  This wasn’t a normal Taser though.  He’d seen this kind before but he’d never experienced it himself.  It was built to shut an android down.

He didn’t have time to wonder if it would hurt before the drive pulled the trigger.  Jensen tried to move away but there was no place to go.  The Taser connected and Jensen went black.

On to Part Five

setting: futuristic, challenge: big bang, genre: slash, warning: dub-con/non-con, story: choices, fanfic: rps

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