For elite_muses
"Tell us what you need right now"
Overall spoilers for most of season two, I'd hope that by now you'd know the drill
IIf Dean knew for certain then it’s guaranteed that he wouldn’t be feeling the way that he does. Wouldn’t be aching with the loss of his father and barely keeping his head above water.
When mom died, Dean knew one thing and that was he needed to be strong so he was strong, kept quiet and helped dad with Sam.
When dad decided that mom was killed by something evil, Dean knew that he shouldn’t question it and that his father wasn’t crazy and that his dad needed him.
When Sam left for college, Dean needed something other than the day in and day out same old bullshit because it wasn’t the same and he found what he needed in Cassie. He was pretty sure that she was it, the answer to every question he’d ever asked, but that’s a story for another time.
When dad disappeared, Dean needed direction but that was rapidly lost after looking everywhere and finding nothing. He found that in driving to Stanford and pretty much ripping Sam from a life so normal it could have been a poster child for regular.
The days, weeks, between looking for dad and finding dad were spent saving people, helping people and that above all else was what Dean needed. He needed to know that it could be done, that his life had a purpose to it and that people actually needed them because everything didn’t seem so big when he knew that there were people to help.
When Dean needed release, needed to work something out of his system, he had two methods. The first was to pretend like everything was a-okay and that pushing himself hard was normal, just part of the lifestyle. The second was to find a warm body, some random woman with a pretty mouth and eyes that held no promises.
These days it’s harder, his old coping mechanisms don’t work and he’s making do with what he has.
He falls back on the walls, puts them up between him and everyone else and says as little as he can get away with. There’s acid on his tongue, pain and anger in his eyes and everything’s suddenly a test, one he can’t pass so he doesn’t even try.
Dean doesn’t know what he needs, wishes he does but he doesn’t.
He’s going day to day, working through the motions and smiling for the entire world to see because maybe if he smiles hard enough it might actually be real and he’ll feel it.
Muse : Dean Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 420
Overall spoilers for most of season two, I'd hope that by now you'd know the drill
IIf Dean knew for certain then it’s guaranteed that he wouldn’t be feeling the way that he does. Wouldn’t be aching with the loss of his father and barely keeping his head above water.
When mom died, Dean knew one thing and that was he needed to be strong so he was strong, kept quiet and helped dad with Sam.
When dad decided that mom was killed by something evil, Dean knew that he shouldn’t question it and that his father wasn’t crazy and that his dad needed him.
When Sam left for college, Dean needed something other than the day in and day out same old bullshit because it wasn’t the same and he found what he needed in Cassie. He was pretty sure that she was it, the answer to every question he’d ever asked, but that’s a story for another time.
When dad disappeared, Dean needed direction but that was rapidly lost after looking everywhere and finding nothing. He found that in driving to Stanford and pretty much ripping Sam from a life so normal it could have been a poster child for regular.
The days, weeks, between looking for dad and finding dad were spent saving people, helping people and that above all else was what Dean needed. He needed to know that it could be done, that his life had a purpose to it and that people actually needed them because everything didn’t seem so big when he knew that there were people to help.
When Dean needed release, needed to work something out of his system, he had two methods. The first was to pretend like everything was a-okay and that pushing himself hard was normal, just part of the lifestyle. The second was to find a warm body, some random woman with a pretty mouth and eyes that held no promises.
These days it’s harder, his old coping mechanisms don’t work and he’s making do with what he has.
He falls back on the walls, puts them up between him and everyone else and says as little as he can get away with. There’s acid on his tongue, pain and anger in his eyes and everything’s suddenly a test, one he can’t pass so he doesn’t even try.
Dean doesn’t know what he needs, wishes he does but he doesn’t.
He’s going day to day, working through the motions and smiling for the entire world to see because maybe if he smiles hard enough it might actually be real and he’ll feel it.
Muse : Dean Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 420