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“Did you know”, Shou said, warm eyes huge and sparkling,“that elephants can die from loneliness?”
They were sitting in a cute little cafe on a cold morning somewhen in january. Thick layers of snow covered the sidewalks, the streets were icy and slippery and cold wind hauled against the windows.
Snorting, Tora placed a hand on Shou’s and looked up to meet the other’s innocent gaze.
“And how do you know that?”
Eyes suddenly becoming sad, Shou shrugged his shoulders and absentminededly poured sugar into his coffe.
“Read it somewhere I guess.”
Giving Shou’s hand a slight squeeze, Tora laughed silently and took a sip from his hot chocolate. He wasn’t much a coffe drinker, but Shou loved that stuff and so they always ended up in cheap cafes whenever they went outside.
“Sometimes you’re really strange you know.”
Shou looked up at him again with big puppy eyes.
“Why? I think it’s cute.”
“Oh yeah, never heard of anything cuter than dying”, Tora muttered into his drink which promptly earned him a smack on his head.
“Jerk! That’s not what I meant!”
Putting on his best pout, Shou glared at his coffe mug.
“Shou, you know that pout doesn’t work. And I also don’t think that mug deserves your death glare, it didn’t do anything wrong.”
That made Shou smile a little. God, he could be so childish at times.
“Besides, I know what you meant when you said it was cute”, Tora mumbled.
A mischivious grin spread out on Shou’s face before he sticked his tongue out and started giggling. Kid.
-
Tora laughed silently to himself when he thought of that memory. It was an old one already, taking place maybe almost a year after they had met. It was one of his favourites too, one of the rare that didn’t make the gaping wide hole in his heart hurt.
It was sweet and funny, almost care free and yet so meaningful.
Yes, it was probably the most meaningful he had, along with maybe one other.
Back then he hadn’t known how meaningful it was, hadn’t spent one thought too many on it, thinking it was just one of Shou’s weird antics.
Oh yes, Shou had been weird, downright strange even, but so utterly lovable and sweet you simply couldn’t hate him. At least Tora couldn’t. He knew a few who probably thought otherwise, but he couldn’t care less about them. Shou had been his, and his alone. Not in a possessive kind of way, but rather in a soulmate kind of way. They were bound by a connection, unbreakable even by death. Tora was sure of that.
He sighed as he rolled over in his bed, grasping onto the necklace in his hands.
It was one of those nights when everything came back to him, but he wouldn’t complain.
Most of his memories were as clear and crisp as broad daylight, making it seem as if he was living through it again.
People always said one shouldn’t live in the past, that it didn’t do you any good.
And Tora tried not to. Honestly tried, not to forget but rather to make the memories last, somewhere in the back of his mind, where only he could find them and press play occassionally. Just like a movie, but one that nobody else had access to.
It was nice somehow. It got him through the day and made him sleep at night, the insurance that Shou would always be there, right next to him and sing him to sleep. Even if it was only in his mind.
-
They first met when they were both nineteen, in the spring before their twentieth birthdays. It was slowly getting warmer and the days got longer, flowers bloomed again after an especially long and cold winter.
Spring had always felt like liberation to Tora. During the dark cold winter days he often suffered from a mild winter depression. It wasn’t uncommon, but it drove Tora nuts and made him feel sick. He never told anyone though, the only other person who knew it was his doctor, but he had retired the year before. So yeah, he was all alone with that.
And with spring, when the air finally smelled like cherryblossoms and the sun warmed the earth, he felt finally able to go outside again, take deep breath and start all over.
He had finally quit his old job as a waiter. He needed the money, yes, but he wouldn’t earn it there. It was a shithole, not well visited and the food there tasted like old socks. And at every end of the month when he saw his paycheck he thought it wasn’t worth it. So he quit.
Sometimes he regretted not having enrolled into university, but only sometimes. He doubted he would have survived there anyway. Things often only interested him a short amount of time, and then he would move on. He was sure he would’ve done the same with university.
He stopped when he saw a bench under one of the many cherry trees. Figuring he didn’t have anywhere to be, he sat down and sighed deeply. It was a nice day. The rays of sunlight were already strong enough to be able to go outside only wearing a sweater, so Tora wriggeled out of his jacket and leaned back, basking in the sunlight.
He was just about to let out a satisfied sigh when he heard a strange humming noise.
Slowly, he opened his eyes which he didn’t even remember having closed and looked to his left.
Someone sat next to him. Tora didn’t know whether he had not seen him when he had decided to sit down or if he had just come. But he looked quite comfortable there, reading a book and singing in a happy manner.
Realizing that was the sound he heard, Tora scratched his head. Why was he singing?
Silently moving closer to him, Tora studied him intently. He had dyed his hair a honey blond, his face had soft, almost girly features and pouty lips. He was also tall, almost as tall as Tora, and very slim, almost skinny. And he smelled of chocolate.
Tora wasn’t sure what to think of him. He probably wasn’t what most people would call the definition of beauty, but Tora found he had something special. Maybe it was his features or the airheaded aura surrounding him. Or maybe just the fact that he was singing. Tora didn’t know.
“What are you staring at?”
Oh well. Obviously his staring didn’t went by as unnoticed as he thought it would.
“N-nothing I...I mean”, Tora stummeld.
“I was just wondering what you were reading.” Well, that wasn’t fully a lie. He had been just about to peak into the book when that stranger caught him staring.
Raising an eyebrow, the stranger smiled at him before closing his book and reaching out his hand.
“You weren’t, but that’s okay, I’m used to stares. I’m Shou by the way.”
Hesitantly, Tora grabbed his hand and shook it.
“I’m Tora.”
And that was when Shou started to laugh uncontrollably.
-
Yes, Shou had laughed at him when he first heard he called himself Tora. Back then, Tora had been irriated. Very much so. What was so funny about that name?
But he had learned soon that Shou didn’t want to be mean. In fact, he had apologized, begged for forgiveness and litterally went on his knees and tried kissing his feet.
Tora smiled when he remembered that. Shou had been very hyper and dorky the first times they met, and honestly Tora hadn’t known whether to stick with him or just stop meeting him.
He forgot how their first meeting ended, one of the very rare memories that weren’t complete anymore, but he had a feeling it didn’t end too well. Something about rain and a thunderstorm.
Nevertheless, they ran into each other once more. Many times to be exact. Most of the meetings didn’t last very long, merely consisting of smiling at each other or saying hi. But sometimes they lasted longer, entire nights even, and Tora didn’t know what to think.
He had been very confused at that time. He hadn’t known what Shou wanted from him, why he was always talking nonsense and giggling like a highschool girl.
Sometimes he even thought of him as annoying. It even happened that he kicked him out of his apartment, telling him to bother someone else. But before the night was over, Tora already had his phone in his hands, calling Shou and trying to apologize. Shou always accepted. Always came back.
And sometimes, Shou had been eeriely quiet. Simply sat there, listened to Tora talking or read a book. He read a lot. Mostly novels, but when he was bored also magazines or just anything readable he could get his hands on.
His quiet moods were even more mysterious than his bounciness. Shou as a whole seemed to change at those times. He looked even skinnier, his skin as pale as chalk, eyes black instead of chocolate brown. How he moved changed, how he smiled changed, his entire body language changed.
For a long time Tora hadn’t known what caused that behaviour. He had been completely lost when it came to Shou, only kept meeting him because in some way, he was very lovable and affectionate. And it kept him busy.
Slowly, Tora lifted the necklace and eyed it carefully. He found it again about a week ago. He had thought he’d lost it, spent nights secretely crying, but now it was back. His only physical reminder.
They were sitting in a cute little cafe on a cold morning somewhen in january. Thick layers of snow covered the sidewalks, the streets were icy and slippery and cold wind hauled against the windows.
Snorting, Tora placed a hand on Shou’s and looked up to meet the other’s innocent gaze.
“And how do you know that?”
Eyes suddenly becoming sad, Shou shrugged his shoulders and absentminededly poured sugar into his coffe.
“Read it somewhere I guess.”
Giving Shou’s hand a slight squeeze, Tora laughed silently and took a sip from his hot chocolate. He wasn’t much a coffe drinker, but Shou loved that stuff and so they always ended up in cheap cafes whenever they went outside.
“Sometimes you’re really strange you know.”
Shou looked up at him again with big puppy eyes.
“Why? I think it’s cute.”
“Oh yeah, never heard of anything cuter than dying”, Tora muttered into his drink which promptly earned him a smack on his head.
“Jerk! That’s not what I meant!”
Putting on his best pout, Shou glared at his coffe mug.
“Shou, you know that pout doesn’t work. And I also don’t think that mug deserves your death glare, it didn’t do anything wrong.”
That made Shou smile a little. God, he could be so childish at times.
“Besides, I know what you meant when you said it was cute”, Tora mumbled.
A mischivious grin spread out on Shou’s face before he sticked his tongue out and started giggling. Kid.
-
Tora laughed silently to himself when he thought of that memory. It was an old one already, taking place maybe almost a year after they had met. It was one of his favourites too, one of the rare that didn’t make the gaping wide hole in his heart hurt.
It was sweet and funny, almost care free and yet so meaningful.
Yes, it was probably the most meaningful he had, along with maybe one other.
Back then he hadn’t known how meaningful it was, hadn’t spent one thought too many on it, thinking it was just one of Shou’s weird antics.
Oh yes, Shou had been weird, downright strange even, but so utterly lovable and sweet you simply couldn’t hate him. At least Tora couldn’t. He knew a few who probably thought otherwise, but he couldn’t care less about them. Shou had been his, and his alone. Not in a possessive kind of way, but rather in a soulmate kind of way. They were bound by a connection, unbreakable even by death. Tora was sure of that.
He sighed as he rolled over in his bed, grasping onto the necklace in his hands.
It was one of those nights when everything came back to him, but he wouldn’t complain.
Most of his memories were as clear and crisp as broad daylight, making it seem as if he was living through it again.
People always said one shouldn’t live in the past, that it didn’t do you any good.
And Tora tried not to. Honestly tried, not to forget but rather to make the memories last, somewhere in the back of his mind, where only he could find them and press play occassionally. Just like a movie, but one that nobody else had access to.
It was nice somehow. It got him through the day and made him sleep at night, the insurance that Shou would always be there, right next to him and sing him to sleep. Even if it was only in his mind.
-
They first met when they were both nineteen, in the spring before their twentieth birthdays. It was slowly getting warmer and the days got longer, flowers bloomed again after an especially long and cold winter.
Spring had always felt like liberation to Tora. During the dark cold winter days he often suffered from a mild winter depression. It wasn’t uncommon, but it drove Tora nuts and made him feel sick. He never told anyone though, the only other person who knew it was his doctor, but he had retired the year before. So yeah, he was all alone with that.
And with spring, when the air finally smelled like cherryblossoms and the sun warmed the earth, he felt finally able to go outside again, take deep breath and start all over.
He had finally quit his old job as a waiter. He needed the money, yes, but he wouldn’t earn it there. It was a shithole, not well visited and the food there tasted like old socks. And at every end of the month when he saw his paycheck he thought it wasn’t worth it. So he quit.
Sometimes he regretted not having enrolled into university, but only sometimes. He doubted he would have survived there anyway. Things often only interested him a short amount of time, and then he would move on. He was sure he would’ve done the same with university.
He stopped when he saw a bench under one of the many cherry trees. Figuring he didn’t have anywhere to be, he sat down and sighed deeply. It was a nice day. The rays of sunlight were already strong enough to be able to go outside only wearing a sweater, so Tora wriggeled out of his jacket and leaned back, basking in the sunlight.
He was just about to let out a satisfied sigh when he heard a strange humming noise.
Slowly, he opened his eyes which he didn’t even remember having closed and looked to his left.
Someone sat next to him. Tora didn’t know whether he had not seen him when he had decided to sit down or if he had just come. But he looked quite comfortable there, reading a book and singing in a happy manner.
Realizing that was the sound he heard, Tora scratched his head. Why was he singing?
Silently moving closer to him, Tora studied him intently. He had dyed his hair a honey blond, his face had soft, almost girly features and pouty lips. He was also tall, almost as tall as Tora, and very slim, almost skinny. And he smelled of chocolate.
Tora wasn’t sure what to think of him. He probably wasn’t what most people would call the definition of beauty, but Tora found he had something special. Maybe it was his features or the airheaded aura surrounding him. Or maybe just the fact that he was singing. Tora didn’t know.
“What are you staring at?”
Oh well. Obviously his staring didn’t went by as unnoticed as he thought it would.
“N-nothing I...I mean”, Tora stummeld.
“I was just wondering what you were reading.” Well, that wasn’t fully a lie. He had been just about to peak into the book when that stranger caught him staring.
Raising an eyebrow, the stranger smiled at him before closing his book and reaching out his hand.
“You weren’t, but that’s okay, I’m used to stares. I’m Shou by the way.”
Hesitantly, Tora grabbed his hand and shook it.
“I’m Tora.”
And that was when Shou started to laugh uncontrollably.
-
Yes, Shou had laughed at him when he first heard he called himself Tora. Back then, Tora had been irriated. Very much so. What was so funny about that name?
But he had learned soon that Shou didn’t want to be mean. In fact, he had apologized, begged for forgiveness and litterally went on his knees and tried kissing his feet.
Tora smiled when he remembered that. Shou had been very hyper and dorky the first times they met, and honestly Tora hadn’t known whether to stick with him or just stop meeting him.
He forgot how their first meeting ended, one of the very rare memories that weren’t complete anymore, but he had a feeling it didn’t end too well. Something about rain and a thunderstorm.
Nevertheless, they ran into each other once more. Many times to be exact. Most of the meetings didn’t last very long, merely consisting of smiling at each other or saying hi. But sometimes they lasted longer, entire nights even, and Tora didn’t know what to think.
He had been very confused at that time. He hadn’t known what Shou wanted from him, why he was always talking nonsense and giggling like a highschool girl.
Sometimes he even thought of him as annoying. It even happened that he kicked him out of his apartment, telling him to bother someone else. But before the night was over, Tora already had his phone in his hands, calling Shou and trying to apologize. Shou always accepted. Always came back.
And sometimes, Shou had been eeriely quiet. Simply sat there, listened to Tora talking or read a book. He read a lot. Mostly novels, but when he was bored also magazines or just anything readable he could get his hands on.
His quiet moods were even more mysterious than his bounciness. Shou as a whole seemed to change at those times. He looked even skinnier, his skin as pale as chalk, eyes black instead of chocolate brown. How he moved changed, how he smiled changed, his entire body language changed.
For a long time Tora hadn’t known what caused that behaviour. He had been completely lost when it came to Shou, only kept meeting him because in some way, he was very lovable and affectionate. And it kept him busy.
Slowly, Tora lifted the necklace and eyed it carefully. He found it again about a week ago. He had thought he’d lost it, spent nights secretely crying, but now it was back. His only physical reminder.