(no subject)
I am so angry that my super long post didn't go through. This update will not be so long now.
1. I got a job. That interview from months ago went as well as I thought and I was offered the job that afternoon. I am teaching 7th grade Language Arts at Matthew Gilbert. Stupid me didn't realize this was far worse than any "ghetto" I had ever experienced. I now know what the 'hood is. I live in hell on a daily basis. On the brighter side, though, I can yell, curse, and throw things and no one says anything about it because our students are thugs... one kid has an ankle bracelet and a parole officer that attends class with him. Nice.
2. So far this year I have been cursed at more times than I can count; had some kid that I don't know threated to shoot me; one overgrown 7th grade bastard try to attack me (16 in the 7th grade for the 3rd time); a kid jack off in the classroom.... there are too many things to remember. this was all the fun stuff from the last 2 weeks.
3. I have a stalker. He smells my hair everytime he is by me in the line. He insists on touching my arms. Oh, and he told me he likes "thick girls."
4. One student, not my stalker, professes his love for me every day. Another boy in the class tells me that I should be on the cover of ELLE. I tell them to lay off the crack before they come to school. In the same class, this smart-ass girl told me she was going to Stanton for highschool. I have no self-control... I started to laugh. Outloud. I am evil.
5. I've told several kids that they need "special medicine." Probably not something we are supposed to say.
6. One student tried to tell me that I hit him. I replied, "Boy, if I had hit you, you would know it because I would have knocked your ass out." Definately NOT something you should say. Since that, he's my number one fan.
7. A boy in 4th period tells me that I am his wife. A little disturbing. On my birthday, he and his friend (who is such a ladies man) sang me a song that I'm pretty sure is banned from the radio due to content. They would not leave me alone. They kept following me around the room. The girls in 7th grade are jealous of me because of the attention. Disturbing.
The greatest thing about the job, though, is not the students. They are awful. I enjoy the other teachers. My good friend from UNF teaches right next door to me. Ms. Jones is a riot (she tells the kids they are stupid as f*** all of the time). Last week she spit a chewed up Almond Joy on a kid's shirt because he threw a pencil at her 'fro. I about fell down the stairs. Mr. Garman told a girl that her mom should have swallowed. (Hilarious)
There are so many funny things that go on. Ms. Skylark--my buddy-- has introduced me to 3 dollar pitchers of L.I. Icetea on Fridays at Lighthouse Grill. I feel another trip out there coming on, too.
... and the newest addition to the chaos that is my job happened during homeroom today. As I walked into my closet my trashcan started to move. I, being the girl that I am, jumped back and said, "Oh shit, there is something in my trashcan." My special-ed kids jumped up and flooded my closet in their efforts to see what was in the trashcan. When the RAT jumped at a girl, she knocked the can over which set the rodent loose. The rat then proceeded to CHASE a boy around the room. All of the kids either jumped on their desks or ran out the room. It was pure chaos. I laughed so hard I was in tears. I tried to tell them it was like being at Disney World with Mickey, but they didn't buy it. Ms. Jones said, "I don't know why y'all are acting like you've never seen a rat before. It probably came from one of your bags." I laughed even harder.
1. I got a job. That interview from months ago went as well as I thought and I was offered the job that afternoon. I am teaching 7th grade Language Arts at Matthew Gilbert. Stupid me didn't realize this was far worse than any "ghetto" I had ever experienced. I now know what the 'hood is. I live in hell on a daily basis. On the brighter side, though, I can yell, curse, and throw things and no one says anything about it because our students are thugs... one kid has an ankle bracelet and a parole officer that attends class with him. Nice.
2. So far this year I have been cursed at more times than I can count; had some kid that I don't know threated to shoot me; one overgrown 7th grade bastard try to attack me (16 in the 7th grade for the 3rd time); a kid jack off in the classroom.... there are too many things to remember. this was all the fun stuff from the last 2 weeks.
3. I have a stalker. He smells my hair everytime he is by me in the line. He insists on touching my arms. Oh, and he told me he likes "thick girls."
4. One student, not my stalker, professes his love for me every day. Another boy in the class tells me that I should be on the cover of ELLE. I tell them to lay off the crack before they come to school. In the same class, this smart-ass girl told me she was going to Stanton for highschool. I have no self-control... I started to laugh. Outloud. I am evil.
5. I've told several kids that they need "special medicine." Probably not something we are supposed to say.
6. One student tried to tell me that I hit him. I replied, "Boy, if I had hit you, you would know it because I would have knocked your ass out." Definately NOT something you should say. Since that, he's my number one fan.
7. A boy in 4th period tells me that I am his wife. A little disturbing. On my birthday, he and his friend (who is such a ladies man) sang me a song that I'm pretty sure is banned from the radio due to content. They would not leave me alone. They kept following me around the room. The girls in 7th grade are jealous of me because of the attention. Disturbing.
The greatest thing about the job, though, is not the students. They are awful. I enjoy the other teachers. My good friend from UNF teaches right next door to me. Ms. Jones is a riot (she tells the kids they are stupid as f*** all of the time). Last week she spit a chewed up Almond Joy on a kid's shirt because he threw a pencil at her 'fro. I about fell down the stairs. Mr. Garman told a girl that her mom should have swallowed. (Hilarious)
There are so many funny things that go on. Ms. Skylark--my buddy-- has introduced me to 3 dollar pitchers of L.I. Icetea on Fridays at Lighthouse Grill. I feel another trip out there coming on, too.
... and the newest addition to the chaos that is my job happened during homeroom today. As I walked into my closet my trashcan started to move. I, being the girl that I am, jumped back and said, "Oh shit, there is something in my trashcan." My special-ed kids jumped up and flooded my closet in their efforts to see what was in the trashcan. When the RAT jumped at a girl, she knocked the can over which set the rodent loose. The rat then proceeded to CHASE a boy around the room. All of the kids either jumped on their desks or ran out the room. It was pure chaos. I laughed so hard I was in tears. I tried to tell them it was like being at Disney World with Mickey, but they didn't buy it. Ms. Jones said, "I don't know why y'all are acting like you've never seen a rat before. It probably came from one of your bags." I laughed even harder.