i want to get free
so i have been researching colleges lately and i have made some decisions... but i am not so sure if i should go to the ones i chose... so, my faithful fans, leave me mucho comments and tell me what i should do...
i picked out this one college as my favorite, the one i am going to try my hardest to be accepted to. The Pratt Institute of New York. For the first two years I would be writing and studying a whole lot five hours from NYC in Utica, NY. Then for my jr. and sr. years i would be studying at actual magazines/multimedia studios and working as an intern and being mentored and whatnot. I am freaking out because this sounds so wondrous. and they provide you with a career counselor so when you graduate they help you get a job. This sounds so amazing... i am wondering if its too good to be true...
then i thought... hmm, maybe i could go to the university of colorado at denver. that sounds lovely... but there is nothing for me to write for there. what the daily denver press or some shitty two-bit periodical. no i dont think so. i am a devoted broncos fan, but not that devoted. plus its too fucking cold.
my next thought was UCLA. that sounds cool. i could write for TV shows out in LA. sounds nice. whatever. but there are literally hundreds of thousands of people out there who are "going to make it." i would fall victim and six months later i would end up high and pushed up against some seedy brick wall in an alley getting assfucked by a huge black guy named bobo. so i am thinking, pratt is sounding really good.
i got something in the mail for Harding University. I was excited and open minded. when i found out the university was in arkansas, i was, to say, less than pleased. But the picture on the front of the brochure showed me an asian girl, a white guy and a black guy sitting really close and smilling perversly at each other. This says to me "Our University provides ample time for you to meet people of other cultures to arrange a multi-ethnic orgy." So the arkansas factor was forgiven at the thought of being sandwiched in between that black dude and some asian guy, even if he smelled like egg rolls and pinesol. but then i though, "that puts me right back at UCLA trying to "make it" with Bobo in the alley, so i figure why waste my sweet ass in white bread arkansas?" and then i turned the page and there was some nonsense about attending daily church services and i said fuck it and threw the packet away.
back we are to Pratt. upon my research of pratt, i became aware that it takes MONEY to go to college... and you know something?
I am really fucking poor.
so i think i am going to become a waitress at a truckstop diner after my car breaks down in phoenix and i will raise my illigitmate son with the high moral fibers of 1976 and my friends, aptly named vera and flo will show me how to live my life by example. and everyday, at least once a day, when someone fucks with me, i will yell, "Kiss my grits." and there will be much rejoicing.
i picked out this one college as my favorite, the one i am going to try my hardest to be accepted to. The Pratt Institute of New York. For the first two years I would be writing and studying a whole lot five hours from NYC in Utica, NY. Then for my jr. and sr. years i would be studying at actual magazines/multimedia studios and working as an intern and being mentored and whatnot. I am freaking out because this sounds so wondrous. and they provide you with a career counselor so when you graduate they help you get a job. This sounds so amazing... i am wondering if its too good to be true...
then i thought... hmm, maybe i could go to the university of colorado at denver. that sounds lovely... but there is nothing for me to write for there. what the daily denver press or some shitty two-bit periodical. no i dont think so. i am a devoted broncos fan, but not that devoted. plus its too fucking cold.
my next thought was UCLA. that sounds cool. i could write for TV shows out in LA. sounds nice. whatever. but there are literally hundreds of thousands of people out there who are "going to make it." i would fall victim and six months later i would end up high and pushed up against some seedy brick wall in an alley getting assfucked by a huge black guy named bobo. so i am thinking, pratt is sounding really good.
i got something in the mail for Harding University. I was excited and open minded. when i found out the university was in arkansas, i was, to say, less than pleased. But the picture on the front of the brochure showed me an asian girl, a white guy and a black guy sitting really close and smilling perversly at each other. This says to me "Our University provides ample time for you to meet people of other cultures to arrange a multi-ethnic orgy." So the arkansas factor was forgiven at the thought of being sandwiched in between that black dude and some asian guy, even if he smelled like egg rolls and pinesol. but then i though, "that puts me right back at UCLA trying to "make it" with Bobo in the alley, so i figure why waste my sweet ass in white bread arkansas?" and then i turned the page and there was some nonsense about attending daily church services and i said fuck it and threw the packet away.
back we are to Pratt. upon my research of pratt, i became aware that it takes MONEY to go to college... and you know something?
I am really fucking poor.
so i think i am going to become a waitress at a truckstop diner after my car breaks down in phoenix and i will raise my illigitmate son with the high moral fibers of 1976 and my friends, aptly named vera and flo will show me how to live my life by example. and everyday, at least once a day, when someone fucks with me, i will yell, "Kiss my grits." and there will be much rejoicing.