I'm turning a new leaf.....and I hope this one lasts for a real long while.
Even though it's really difficult. I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS WORTH IT! It's tought trying to always be positive but I did it last week. My whole mantra was positive POSITIVE! And believe me it paid back. I got most of my work done (for my boss Chrisitine), I worked out twice. I lost a pound and a half and finalize my goal for the next year. I even went out! I've been moppy and depressed lately. I think I still have a little residue but am certain will make the best, even though my body aches. This week I'm working NONE stop! My last day off was last Monday and my next day off is not till FRIDAY!!! At least I'm off during fourth of July. Somehow something in my brain switched, I GOT CONFIDENCE by being positive. As you can see from my profile picture, which by the way I think is so HOT! While looking at it I feel like I could be a model....Alas if only I had the body and the hieght! But damn do I have the face. I think one thing that also switched is I want to be remembered not as the always stressed out individual and dull or boring person. I want to be remembered as the positive fun loving and adventurous FILLED WITH LIFE and compassion individual. I'm free to live my life now with no restraints (I feel no pressure what so ever). The world to me is a blank canvass that I can fill with so much color and shapes! SO I'm turning a leaf! I've already seeked out some possible advertising firms I'm going to strive to work for within then next year. Here's my newly updated goals!
1) By January 2008 loose weight down to 175 (if I start now and loose 2 lbs a week which is totally do-able) I CAN MAKE THIS GOAL!
2) CREAT AN AWESOME PORTFOLIO by summers 2009 ends to present to the San Fran people.
3) BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT!
4) GET OUT OF RENO and TO SAN FRANCISCO by AUGUST 2009!----This is a hard one but if I put my mind to it and really want it hard enough I know I can make things happen. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS BELIEVE.....Believe my creativity, my resourceful-ness, my energy AND ENOUGH OF NEGATIVE AND FEARFUL thoughts. And so what if I fail.....AT LEAST I TRIED! It can't be as hard as college.
I mean come on I've done amazing STUFF with merely my ideas....EXAMPLE?
---I had to fight GRACIE (the president) and including myself about the whole CKI induction ceremony at VIRGINIA CITY. I MADE THAT ALL POSSIBLE....BY MYSELF from scratch! And 34 people were impressed.
---CKI talent during DCON 2007 NEVER THOUGHT in a million year to get UNR in CKI talent show but we did it.
---JTSU FREE HUGZ THING....SUCCESS!
---CKI 3rd place AMAZING CLAY VIDEO!
---Impressive internship at the NSM
---Henry Albert Service award
---GRADUATING
---Paying off my car
---GOING TO HAWAII for 2 weeks! WHO DOES THAT? Gone from Reno for 3 weeks with NO PAY!
And so many other things!
Anyway this week is going to be tough. I hope I won't burn out too quickly, get sick or just get side-tracked. I hope the positive energy keeps coming.
I know this is bad (as I'm supposed to be in a relationship with Thinh) but someone at Circus Circus seemed interested in me today or this past weekend I must say. He's a security officer. I don't know his name but he's been looking my way and today we almost talked if only I didn't talk to Cindy (my boss). But then again I have a boyfriend (who clearly doesn't know how to be a BF or anything of that sort). Is this cheating? According to Anna I should just dump Thinh. It's only going to hurt me or him in a long run. I feel like he doesn't like me the way a guy should really like a woman. Who knows this other guy might be the "one"...HA!...JK.....No I like Thinh....... The question is does he like me and would this be strong enough for the future?.......For right now I have my doubts. We haven't talked on the phone in almost 2 weeks! Merely text twice and he finally myspace messaged me back today. I don't feel like I'm in a relationship. But then again I might be overly expecting....Putting too much emphasis on the wrong thing and pressuring another persons personal choice and or freedom of choice. I just imagined that if a guy truly liked the person he is with he'd move heaven and earth to be with the individual which means endless of wanting to hug, kiss, hear thier voice or just be close to. Not distance and could careless. Why am I settling with Thinh anyway? What do I really like about him (besides his companionship?). We'll see if he'd follow thru with what he said in regards to "changing". I have a definate feeling this is NOT going to last long. I think this confidence might even turn into EGO. I don't know we'll see. However I'm excited at the prospect I could turn heads again. I guess it's truly all about outlook and personality. I can make it in this world. I have the power I have to just use it instead of myself waiting for it to use me ( as if that would never happen).
As some seeds of wisdom states:
"
AND MY MOST FAVORITE SAYING:
I don't know all I know is NO MAN (or WOMAN...AKA: MOM) is going to stop me from attaining my dream! I'm the only one hindering myself currently. BUT I AM FIXING THAT. I WON"T loose this dream again. I won't let myself beleive I can't get there. I have it.....I just have to learn how to enhance and fully know how to control and use it.
If only life wasn't so complicated and lonely. BUT I AM A SURVIVOR, I AM STRONG and I WILL BEAT THE ODDS because this is WHAT I AM GOING TO BELIEVE! I JUST HAVE TOO because if I don't believe then who else will?
I hope God concors and gives me his grace and blessings. He's the one who implanted this dream and vision in me. I hope it works. Till some other time!
MUCH LOVE, HOPE AND eventually happiness.
1) By January 2008 loose weight down to 175 (if I start now and loose 2 lbs a week which is totally do-able) I CAN MAKE THIS GOAL!
2) CREAT AN AWESOME PORTFOLIO by summers 2009 ends to present to the San Fran people.
3) BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT!
4) GET OUT OF RENO and TO SAN FRANCISCO by AUGUST 2009!----This is a hard one but if I put my mind to it and really want it hard enough I know I can make things happen. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS BELIEVE.....Believe my creativity, my resourceful-ness, my energy AND ENOUGH OF NEGATIVE AND FEARFUL thoughts. And so what if I fail.....AT LEAST I TRIED! It can't be as hard as college.
I mean come on I've done amazing STUFF with merely my ideas....EXAMPLE?
---I had to fight GRACIE (the president) and including myself about the whole CKI induction ceremony at VIRGINIA CITY. I MADE THAT ALL POSSIBLE....BY MYSELF from scratch! And 34 people were impressed.
---CKI talent during DCON 2007 NEVER THOUGHT in a million year to get UNR in CKI talent show but we did it.
---JTSU FREE HUGZ THING....SUCCESS!
---CKI 3rd place AMAZING CLAY VIDEO!
---Impressive internship at the NSM
---Henry Albert Service award
---GRADUATING
---Paying off my car
---GOING TO HAWAII for 2 weeks! WHO DOES THAT? Gone from Reno for 3 weeks with NO PAY!
And so many other things!
Anyway this week is going to be tough. I hope I won't burn out too quickly, get sick or just get side-tracked. I hope the positive energy keeps coming.
I know this is bad (as I'm supposed to be in a relationship with Thinh) but someone at Circus Circus seemed interested in me today or this past weekend I must say. He's a security officer. I don't know his name but he's been looking my way and today we almost talked if only I didn't talk to Cindy (my boss). But then again I have a boyfriend (who clearly doesn't know how to be a BF or anything of that sort). Is this cheating? According to Anna I should just dump Thinh. It's only going to hurt me or him in a long run. I feel like he doesn't like me the way a guy should really like a woman. Who knows this other guy might be the "one"...HA!...JK.....No I like Thinh....... The question is does he like me and would this be strong enough for the future?.......For right now I have my doubts. We haven't talked on the phone in almost 2 weeks! Merely text twice and he finally myspace messaged me back today. I don't feel like I'm in a relationship. But then again I might be overly expecting....Putting too much emphasis on the wrong thing and pressuring another persons personal choice and or freedom of choice. I just imagined that if a guy truly liked the person he is with he'd move heaven and earth to be with the individual which means endless of wanting to hug, kiss, hear thier voice or just be close to. Not distance and could careless. Why am I settling with Thinh anyway? What do I really like about him (besides his companionship?). We'll see if he'd follow thru with what he said in regards to "changing". I have a definate feeling this is NOT going to last long. I think this confidence might even turn into EGO. I don't know we'll see. However I'm excited at the prospect I could turn heads again. I guess it's truly all about outlook and personality. I can make it in this world. I have the power I have to just use it instead of myself waiting for it to use me ( as if that would never happen).
As some seeds of wisdom states:
"
AND MY MOST FAVORITE SAYING:
I don't know all I know is NO MAN (or WOMAN...AKA: MOM) is going to stop me from attaining my dream! I'm the only one hindering myself currently. BUT I AM FIXING THAT. I WON"T loose this dream again. I won't let myself beleive I can't get there. I have it.....I just have to learn how to enhance and fully know how to control and use it.
If only life wasn't so complicated and lonely. BUT I AM A SURVIVOR, I AM STRONG and I WILL BEAT THE ODDS because this is WHAT I AM GOING TO BELIEVE! I JUST HAVE TOO because if I don't believe then who else will?
I hope God concors and gives me his grace and blessings. He's the one who implanted this dream and vision in me. I hope it works. Till some other time!
MUCH LOVE, HOPE AND eventually happiness.