Limbo of Fear
Saturday morning I discovered a large lump on the side of my neck. As I was still recovering from a cold, I figured it was a related lymph node infection, but decided to call the doctor anyway on monday. Turns out it's my thyroid. This means the cause is unknown, so I had to have blood tests, and yesterday went for an ultrasound scan.
Blood tests showed that my body was fighting an infection (duh, I have a cold), and also that I need to take vitamin D (that's the one from sunlight, and I've been too tired to go outside for two weeks). But no sign of hyper or hypothyroidism, or lack of iodine.
So... cause still unknown. I now need to wait for the scan results.
The really annoying thing is that the doctor refused to discuss possible causes until we get scan results. And sure, I get that this is probably standard policy, to avoid having to deal with patients who complain that it's not what they said, or ones who latch onto worst case. But... aaargh, it's really frustrating! I deal with things by researching and planning, and I've been given nothing at all. I hate being left in an information vacuum. And obviously with no potential names given, my mind tends to obsess over the only one I know about off hand, which would be cancer. Thankfully some research tells me this is unlikely. But without anything else to look at, I'm resorting to googling things about thyroid nodules, and this is probably not the best quality info. Need More Data Dammit. Can't stop obsessing and worrying without data. I just need to research EVERYTHING. Hate not knowing. Surely it can't be as bad as the stuff I'm imagining.
When I think of the lump my brain keeps sending me a touch-memory of squishing one of those small cherry tomatoes, since it's about the same size and feels kinda rubbery. Thanks brain.
Anyway, doing what I can, which has been to make use of work's health insurance to get scans through quickly (it takes 10 days on NHS, my results should be there tomorrow), and to insist on booking a telephone consultation for friday. If it is serious, catching it quickly is probably the best mitigation strategy.
Blood tests showed that my body was fighting an infection (duh, I have a cold), and also that I need to take vitamin D (that's the one from sunlight, and I've been too tired to go outside for two weeks). But no sign of hyper or hypothyroidism, or lack of iodine.
So... cause still unknown. I now need to wait for the scan results.
The really annoying thing is that the doctor refused to discuss possible causes until we get scan results. And sure, I get that this is probably standard policy, to avoid having to deal with patients who complain that it's not what they said, or ones who latch onto worst case. But... aaargh, it's really frustrating! I deal with things by researching and planning, and I've been given nothing at all. I hate being left in an information vacuum. And obviously with no potential names given, my mind tends to obsess over the only one I know about off hand, which would be cancer. Thankfully some research tells me this is unlikely. But without anything else to look at, I'm resorting to googling things about thyroid nodules, and this is probably not the best quality info. Need More Data Dammit. Can't stop obsessing and worrying without data. I just need to research EVERYTHING. Hate not knowing. Surely it can't be as bad as the stuff I'm imagining.
When I think of the lump my brain keeps sending me a touch-memory of squishing one of those small cherry tomatoes, since it's about the same size and feels kinda rubbery. Thanks brain.
Anyway, doing what I can, which has been to make use of work's health insurance to get scans through quickly (it takes 10 days on NHS, my results should be there tomorrow), and to insist on booking a telephone consultation for friday. If it is serious, catching it quickly is probably the best mitigation strategy.