[FIC] {JaeHo} Peppermint::Chapter 6
Title: Peppermint
Author: tempo
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeHo <3
Author’s Notes: It takes place around April-May 2004. (^-^) I suppose you could call it fluff... :3 What I did with the fic was kinda incorporate real-life events, but tweaked them to fit the story. (^-^) Constructive criticism always welcome~ :D
{Chapter 1::}
{Chapter 2::}
{Chapter 3::}
{Chapter 4::}
{Chapter 5::}
Chapter 6::
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Jaejoong stood alone in that small well-lit room, abandoned, still facing the open doorway where Yunho once stood. He was hoping he would hear his friend’s footsteps making their way back again. He eagerly anticipated his return, but was only given the comfort of the deafening silence that now surrounded him. He tightly shut his eyes, as he heard its sharp, piercing voice scolding him of the bitter consequences he now had to face because of his selfish actions.
He didn’t want to hear it. He wasn’t doing anything wrong; all he wanted was for everything to be okay again. That was all that he had ever wanted, all he had ever needed. Relentlessly, he heard their sharp, shrill voices screaming at him, cursing him, filling his head and feeding on his subtle insecurities that persistently held him back. Having not the strength to fight it anymore, he meekly surrendered to the silence, releasing his eyes from their taut captivity. His gaze still remained fixed on the door, watching it as if in a trance. He heard the voices of silence become softer, and softer still, until he heard them quietly fade away, leaving him with nothing more but himself.
He frowned as his scattered thoughts turned once again to Yunho. Why did he leave? What was he about to say? Jaejoong’s mind darted from one reason to another, struggling with every possible answer he threw at himself. Could it have been that Yunho was upset with him? He had left all too quickly, and maybe perhaps out of frustration. Jaejoong nervously bit his lip, furrowing his eyebrows. He didn’t mean to make Yunho so upset with him-that wasn’t his intention at all, not in the least. He was just…
But what if it was too late? Jaejoong had successfully succeeded in putting a rift in their friendship; Yunho thought that Jaejoong hated him. The older boy smirked bitterly to himself, hearing Yunho’s voice in his head, as he recollected the moments of before. Suddenly, he gasped slightly, eyes widening, as his mind began to fill itself with morbid thoughts and reasons, his eyes darkening over with doubt. What if Yunho had given up? He had been patient all this time, but what if he had become overwhelmed with such frustration that it caused him to give up on them, completely? Jaejoong felt his insides begin to tie themselves in countless, painful knots, as he felt his mind become clouded over with worry. He couldn’t bare losing Yunho; he was his best friend. He had always been there for Jaejoong, and Jaejoong had always been there for him. The reality that he may have truly lost his best friend hit him hard, causing his whole body to weaken, as he slightly stumbled back, finding strength in the wall behind him. He pressed his back into the wall with the little strength he had left, completely disillusioned, as he felt his eyes become glazed over with freshly, salted tears.
What had he done?
Why didn’t he just tell Yunho what was going on to begin with? He grit his teeth and mentally kicked himself for waiting till it got to this. Regardless of what could’ve happened, Jaejoong should’ve told him sooner. But what if Yunho hated him, too? It would’ve been all his fault. He couldn’t live with that. Sighing, he clumsily wiped away the impatient tears about to streak his face. He had to tell Yunho. There was simply no way around it anymore. It was either now or never-he had to tell him. Determined, but still under the careful watch of doubt, he released himself from the wall and made his way towards the door.
“Yunho… ?”
Junsu frowned as he watched Yunho slowly trudging his way down the hall towards him. Junsu had just locked the door to his hotel room, and was happily making his way down the brightly lit hall towards the elevator. He stopped abruptly in his tracks when he spotted Yunho trudging, almost dazedly, down the hall. He was slightly hunched over, and seemed as if he couldn’t see where he was going. This was very unlike Yunho, who would always walk proudly with the utmost air of confidence. At first, Junsu thought that he might’ve been drunk, considering the way that he was carrying himself. He tilted his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity, as he watched Yunho slowly approaching in his direction.
Junsu’s eyes widened as Yunho drew closer and closer still, completely oblivious to Junsu’s presence. In alarm, Junsu brought his arms out in front of him to stop Yunho from walking into him and to get his attention. “Whoa! Hey… ” Yunho had been lost and completely engulfed in his own thoughts, so much, that he didn’t even notice Junsu in front of him.
“Huh?” Yunho snapped back into reality upon hearing Junsu’s voice. He stopped and looked at the frantic blond-haired boy that was holding him back. “Oh!” He smiled weakly in apology. “Sorry, Junsu.”
Junsu, however, did not return the smile. Instead, he stared into the face of his friend, a look of genuine concern written across his childlike features. “You okay?” He finally asked him.
As simple a question as it was, Yunho didn’t really know how to answer him. He physically seemed okay, but his mind was a complete mess. He felt confused and uncertain. Everything seemed jumbled and unfamiliar to him. Nothing really seemed to make sense anymore. Was he okay? He really didn’t know. Somewhat unsure, he spoke, “… Y-yeah, why?”
“You look like you’re gonna throw up, or something.” Junsu told him, frowning slightly. His face then took on a concerned look of worry as he looked into the face of his friend. “Are you sick?”
Yunho, not wanting to trouble the younger boy, quickly laughed and smiled the whole thing off. “Oh, no, I’m fine. I just… need to lie down for a bit.”
“Oh…” Somewhat satisfied with that answer, Junsu slowly let go of Yunho. However, an air of worry still left lingering faintly across his features. “O-okay.” He gave Yunho an encouraging smile, and then continued on his way past the older boy. Yunho, too, continued on his way towards his hotel room, however, a little more composed this time. Suddenly, Junsu stopped, having remembered something, and spun around on his heel to face the older boy again. “But don’t be too long, Yunho! We gotta leave in about an hour.”
“Where we goin’?” Yunho asked, confused, as he turned his head over to look at Junsu down the hall.
“Inki Gayo.” The younger boy answered, cheerfully. “We’re performing ‘My Little Princess,’ remember?”
“Oh! Right, right…” Yunho said, remembering the group’s plans for the evening. They were only residing at this hotel for a few days and tonight was their last night here. They would be leaving the following morning. “Don’t worry, I won’t forget.”
“Good, you better not!” Junsu laughed, jokingly. “Hope you feel better!” He waved Yunho goodbye, as he left.
Yunho smiled at the younger boy’s cheerfulness, as he watched him disappear with the “ding” of the elevator. Usually, all five of the boys would share a hotel room, depending on where they were staying. This one hotel that their manager picked for them was “the best of the best.” It was large on a grand scale, and was known for its world-class hospitality, and of course, the incredible artistry. Each drop of lush paint on the wall, each fibre of the rich carpets, each tile on the lustrous marble floors, even each chandelier on the ceiling breathed with the vivid intensity of life. The hotel itself almost seemed like a fine art gallery, its artistic inhabitants guarding careful watch of the priceless artefacts that decorated each floor.
In this hotel, and rare ones of its stature, each Tong Vfang Xien Qi member would receive their own hotel room. It was a nice change for the boys, because as much as they loved each other, they needed a break from one another every now and then. For Yunho, now was one of those times. He needed some time on his own to sort his head out and think.
He fished around in his pockets, until he found his room key and brought it out, fastening it in the intricate lock. He turned the key and opened his room door, spilling the light from the hallway into the dark crevices of his large, spacious hotel room. His curtains were shut closed.
Not bothering to hit the light-switch, he shut the door behind him and made his way over to sit on the edge of the large, four-poster canopy bed. It was early evening and the sun was getting ready to bid its farewell. The orange rays tried their hardest to filter through the layers of navy-colored sheer curtain, but to no avail. Yunho released a heavy sigh, as he ran his fingers through his tousled, dark brown hair. He needed some time on his own to think. And here, in the darkness of his room, he supposed he could get some thinking done. Again, about the other:
Jaejoong.
Yunho had almost told him that he loved him. What scared Yunho even more was that he had almost said it. But what he didn’t understand was why he was about to say it in the first place. Did he really love Jaejoong? Could it be possible that it was love that Yunho was feeling all these years for the other boy? He knew that he deeply cared for Jaejoong, but he never thought that it could have ever been love. It wasn’t that he couldn’t love the older boy, but he never knew that he actually could love him.
Yunho smiled to himself. But how could he have not loved Jaejoong? He was one of the most caring of people that Yunho had ever known. He had a warm, welcoming heart that took in anything and anyone that felt even just a little bit alone. Not to mention, his witty, and almost childlike sense of humour. No matter what he did, he always somehow managed to bring a smile to Yunho’s face. And Jaejoong’s smile. That was one of the things that Yunho loved the most. When he smiled or laughed, his whole being would seem to light up and come alive with such spirit. Yunho loved it even more when he, himself, was the one to bring that smile to his face. It filled him with such happiness, such joy, to see the one he cared so much about so happy. Jaejoong was one of the most amazing people he had ever been privileged to know. And also…
… a guy.
Yunho never really thought of himself to be a homosexual. Up until now, he was one hundred percent certain that he was only attracted to girls.
Well, physically, at least.
But, the more he thought about it, maybe he could be attracted to guys, as well? He felt some sort of attraction to Jaejoong, but it was a different sort of attraction than he had experienced before. With his previous girlfriends, he had only really been drawn to them for their looks at first, then personality and all that good stuff afterwards. But maybe with Jaejoong, it was different? Did it go backwards with him, and he was attracted to his personality at first? Or maybe Yunho was bisexual. But if that was the case, why would he only be attracted to Jaejoong, and no one else?
As each thought flew by, Yunho became more and more confused. He cursed himself for thinking about Jaejoong in this way. What was Jaejoong doing to him? He looked over at his night table on the left side of the large bed, and spotted his mp3 player. He leaned over and picked it up, placing his earphones deftly in his ears. He lay down on the bed, pressed the play button and closed his eyes. He decided to drown out his thoughts in some loud music, hopefully to get his mind off of the other.
Jaejoong’s nerves slowly began eating away at him, as the elevator took him higher and higher up in the hotel. He exhaled deeply, trying to somewhat calm himself down, as he rubbed the back of his neck with his fingers. He heard the dreaded “ding” of the elevator, signalling the arrival of his destination. He groaned as the door opened, and reluctantly dragged himself out of the elevator. He sighed. It was either now or never. He looked towards their wing of the floor, the vibrant light spilling over into the hall. He gulped. He felt himself being moved down the hall, and saw the distance between himself and the elevator slowly increasing behind him. His feet subconsciously guided him down the hall, however his mind was still stuck in that same time frame of moments ago. With each footstep, he felt himself become weighed down heavier and heavier with the overwhelming feeling of fear.
He didn’t know how long he was walking through that hall, but it seemed as if an eternity had passed by when he had reached the door of Yunho’s room. He stared at the doorknob as if it may burn him to touch it. He hesitantly reached out for the knob, and placed his hand around it, holding it firmly. If he was lucky, Yunho wouldn’t be in there, and the door would be locked. Mustering up all the courage he could, he slowly began to turn the doorknob and to his surprise-it was unlocked.
“Fuck.” He cursed under his breath.
He slowly began to push the door open, and peeked in slowly through the crack in the door. From what he could see, Yunho looked like he was asleep. After going through all the self-torture just to get here, Jaejoong felt bad about having to wake him up. But he really needed to talk to him. Jaejoong opened the door wider, allowing himself to step inside the darkened room. He quietly closed the door behind him without a sound, and turned to face Yunho.
He was lying peacefully on the bed with his eyes closed, but Jaejoong noticed that he was not asleep. He walked closer to him and could clearly hear music emanating from his earphones. Jaejoong frowned. He thought he told him to get new earphones-those were crap. He walked closer to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, beside Yunho. He looked longingly at the other boy’s face, as he smiled to himself. His face looked so mild and so peaceful as he lay there seemingly without a care in the world. He turned his eyes away from Yunho, and looked over to his right. He saw the ivory dresser by the far wall, atop of it, a bowl of peppermint candies, care of the hotel. He frowned. How come he didn’t get any candy? Before he could give it a second thought, he felt Yunho’s body beside him begin to stir. Jaejoong inwardly braced himself; it was too late to run away.
Jaejoong turned slowly to face Yunho, who was now sitting up on the bed with him. A surprised look animated the younger boy’s features as he stared in disbelief at the raven-haired boy beside him.
“Jaejoong-?”
“-Yunho...” Jaejoong began. “We need to talk.”
Yunho, not yet ready to speak, nodded and let Jaejoong continue.
Jaejoong let out a broken sigh, and looked at Yunho with sincerity reflected in his eyes. “Look… I'm sorry. It's just...” He trailed off. “You're right. I haven't been myself lately. I didn't really know what got into me. I mean, I knew, but... at the same time I didn't... but I knew the whole time.” He stopped, trying to gather up his thoughts. “... Does that make sense?”
Yunho shook his head.
Jaejoong smiled slightly, scratching his head. “I thought so.” He looked away from Yunho, placing both his hands on his lap, before starting to twiddle his thumbs. He nervously looked down at his hands and bit his lip. “The thing is, I...” He trailed off, not really sure of what he should say. “Well...” He started again, and then stopped. He paused for a while, as he tried to find the right words. “I really don't know how to say this without freaking you out first...”
Upon hearing that, Yunho immediately feared the worst. “Jaejoong, what’s wrong?” He asked him, his voice laced with genuine concern.
“Yunho,” Jaejoong began, looking up at the boy in front of him. “If you were to tell someone something, and once you said it, you'd know that they'd never look at you the same way again... would you tell them?”
“Jae-“
“-But let's say… you want them to look at you differently... but in the way that you look at them.” Jaejoong explained. “But you knew that there was no way that could possibly happen.” He looked at Yunho with a look of hope fighting in his eyes. “… Would you still tell them?”
Yunho, not really sure of what it was Jaejoong was talking about, thought nothing much but to simply shrug.
“Would you?” He pleaded to him, his voice filled with desperation.
“Um...” Yunho thought about it to himself for a while. Somewhat unsure, he answered, “I guess if they're involved, then yeah, they should know.”
The look of fighting desperation in Jaejoong’s eyes began to fade, as Yunho saw them become filled with a subtle fear. “But what if you're afraid…” He began after a while. “… that they might be so horrified from what you tell them, that you might lose them? And that everything you've built up together would just fall?”
“Well, I-“
“-But you don't wanna lose that, ‘cause it means so much to you.” Jaejoong continued. “But by not telling them, it just ends up hurting you even more. The both of you.”
Upon that statement, Yunho began to listen in closer and more carefully into what Jaejoong was telling him. He thought for a few moments, trying to give Jaejoong the best advice he possibly could. “... I think if they've always stood by you no matter what, then it shouldn't matter... ‘cause they'll always be there for you.”
Silence joined them for a few moments. It made its way between both boys, for it seemed neither of them were ready to speak just yet. It sat patiently between both Jaejoong and Yunho, waiting for the right moment for it to fade away. But now was not the time, at the moment. And so it sat there, surrounding both boys, making them both feel somewhat nervous, for there was this unknown presence in the room with them. It was somewhat unwelcome, but neither of them had the heart to tell it to leave. And so they sat there, waiting for the right time to bid it on its way.
Silence began to sense that its time here would soon be over. It felt the presence of a voice that may slowly come into existence. It smiled at them, and quietly faded away, allowing Jaejoong to speak.
“… What if you were in love with your best friend?” He asked, looking up at Yunho, his voice barely above a whisper.
At that, Yunho was extremely taken aback. He stared, completely dumbfounded at the other boy. “… Jaejoong-“
“-But you were afraid.” He continued. “You were scared of what might happen ... or what was happening.” He looked down, slightly. “You were confused.” He looked up at Yunho, with desperation fighting in his eyes. “I mean, you didn't know what was wrong with you! Like... you thought, or at least, assumed you liked girls, yet...” He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “… every time you were around your best friend...” He began. “… you'd... feel something. Something that no one's ever made you feel before; guy or girl.” He explained to Yunho.
“And that's why you got scared.” He continued. “You were like, ‘Stop thinking like that! This is your best friend. You're not s'posed to be feeling like this with your best friend.’ And so those feelings you felt towards them... they wouldn't go away, no matter how hard you tried to block them out, mentally... so you tried to do it physically.” He explained. “You thought if maybe you just kept yourself as far away from them as you could, those feelings would fade away. But instead, it just made it worse.” He looked away from Yunho, reminiscing in his own thoughts.
He looked back up at him again. “... You missed them.” His voice was tenderly laced with affection. “You hated not talking to them, you hated them not being there. But you wanted them there the whole time!” He pleaded to the other boy. “At one point, you even thought, you know, ‘Why don't I just tell them?’ ... But it wasn't that easy. You knew that once you told them, your friendship would never be the same again.” He looked down, slightly. “... They'd look at you differently ... treat you differently ... maybe even avoid you.” He shrugged. “I mean, yeah, it's one thing to have feelings for them... but it's another thing for them to actually return them back. I guess you could probably handle rejection, but what if they were disgusted by you? What if people found out? What would they think? You were scared of not being accepted--and ultimately losing your job, ‘cause your manager's just... crazy like that, but that's not the point.”
Yunho laughed slightly at the other boy’s remark. They all had to agree: their manager was insane.
Jaejoong smiled, too, along with him. But his happiness was short-lived, for he had to continue. He paused again, before he spoke. “And so you just kept thinking about them... ‘cause that's all you could do. And so you thought about them. You thought about them every minute of every fucking day, constantly.” He looked at Yunho, with a sincere look of pain in his eyes. “And it hurt, ‘cause you knew you couldn't have them.” He paused, looking down into his lap, before continuing. He smiled, slightly. “... You'd never felt this way about anyone, like the way you feel with them. ... You didn't know what it was before... but you know now... that you love them.”
This time, Yunho willingly allowed silence to once again come and join them. He needed its company to allow him to put his own thoughts together, as well. After listening to Jaejoong’s story, and remembering all of the moments of before, it all made sense now. Perfect sense. The constant distance Jaejoong kept putting between them, the avoiding, and the sudden shyness-Jaejoong liked him. No. He loved him. But why? Yunho had never once seriously thought that Jaejoong was interested in guys. The thought may have crossed his mind a couple of times, because of Jaejoong’s touchiness amongst the group. But Yunho had always assumed he was just playing around; that’s how Jaejoong was. He allowed silence to stay just a bit longer, as he let his mind travel back to that GIA photo shoot a bit over a week ago. He remembered that look of forlornness written across Jaejoong’s face, during their “false marriage.” Could he have been…
“… How long have you felt this way about me?” Yunho asked Jaejoong, abruptly dismissing the silence.
Jaejoong looked up at him, a little scared. “… Honestly?” He asked him.
Yunho nodded.
Jaejoong thought for a moment, then shrugged. “… Since I first met you.” He smiled, slightly.
Yunho frowned.
The older boy smiled again, upon seeing Yunho’s confused expression. “... I always liked spending time with you. I dunno, I was just... drawn to you... I guess. To be honest, though, I spend the most time with you more than anyone else in our whole group.” He brought his hand up to his mouth, as he laughed, slightly. “... I liked being there with you. And I guess over the years that... ‘liking’ kinda grew into something more.”
“Into what it is now?” Yunho asked him.
Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah.” He smiled sheepishly, then looked away from Yunho, slightly nervous.
Yunho was completely overwhelmed; Jaejoong had just confessed to him that he loved him. And he knew that he, too, felt something for Jaejoong, as well. But what it was exactly, he wasn’t sure. Could it be possible that it was love that Yunho felt for Jaejoong, too? He looked at the raven-haired boy slightly fidgeting in front of him; his nerves were eating away at him again. Yunho smiled slightly, to himself, almost in pity of the other boy. Was it love? Yunho had to physically prove it to himself somehow…
Jaejoong was beginning to worry. Why wasn’t Yunho saying anything? His long, stretched-out period of silence was beginning to make him even more nervous than he already was. The dark cloud of doubt that had been carefully watching over him, started to loom low, and become heavier. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Jaejoong regretted ever telling him anything. He shouldn’t have told him. What if Yunho probably hated him now? He sat uncomfortably, almost squirming, in his spot on the bed beside the other boy.
After seemingly endless moments of nervousness, Yunho finally broke the awkward silence. “… Jaejoong-“
“-I know, I know. You hate me.”
“Jaej-“
“-You’re completely grossed out.”
“Jae-“
“-I should've never said anything in the first place.”
“Jaejoo-“
“-I’ll understand if you never wanna speak to me ever again.”
“Jaejoong!” Yunho leaned in closer to the older boy, grabbing him by the shoulders to get his attention.
“What?” He asked, worriedly. He looked into Yunho’s eyes, not knowing what to expect.
Yunho looked into Jaejoong’s face, and almost seemed as if he was looking at him for the first time. In spite of the darkened room, he couldn’t help but notice just how beautiful Jaejoong really was. He allowed himself to freely see the boy in a different light, without inhibition, despite the darkness. His eyes began to carefully search Jaejoong’s features. As silly as it seemed, although he knew Jaejoong was there, he wanted to feel him being there. He had always kept Jaejoong in his mind and in his heart, but this was something that he felt he needed to do: he had to know it was real. He had to prove both Jaejoong, and his love for him to himself by physically feeling them. He needed to know it was real.
Yunho reached his hand up towards Jaejoong’s face, gingerly at first. The older boy looked back at him, slightly confused. Yunho brought his hand over to Jaejoong’s forehead, and gently brushed his bangs away from his eyes, feeling the silken raven strands slip delicately through his fingers. He loved how they fell back into place so perfectly. He traced the shape of his doe-like brown eyes, taking careful note of their beauty. His fingers then moved down his face, stopping to caress his rosy-flushed cheek, feeling the warmth of Jaejoong’s blush underneath his fingertips. Yunho gently smiled at him. He lightly grazed his fingers down Jaejoong’s cheek towards his lips; full, and kissed with hues of light, soft pinks. Yunho lightly brushed them over with his thumb, feeling their supple softness. He then looked into Jaejoong’s eyes, and Jaejoong looked back into his, his face blushing fiercer by the second. Yunho slowly leaned in closer to Jaejoong’s face, until they were merely inches apart. He could almost feel the heat radiating off of the other boy’s cheeks. Hand still cupped gently against the his face, Yunho finally closed the distance between them, as he softly pressed his lips against Jaejoong’s, feeling their velvety suppleness against his own.
It felt right. Nothing else seemed to matter to him anymore. As soon as he felt the reassuring softness of Jaejoong’s lips touch his own, all the doubt was completely erased from his mind. It was real. It was genuine: Jaejoong, Yunho’s love for him-everything. All of it, it was real. He loved Jaejoong. He knew now… that he loved him.
Jaejoong was surprised, at first, at the boldness of the other boy’s actions. But he allowed his eyelids to flutter closed, his soft lips lingering for a moment, before he leaned into the kiss further. He kissed Yunho back, his lips softly grazing the other boy’s, laced with passion. He parted his lips slightly, deepening the kiss, desperately wanting to taste the other boy and feel him as his own. But something told him to stop. He reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, and looked away almost guiltily.
Yunho was confused. Did he do something wrong?
“We shouldn't.” Jaejoong told him. “I mean, you don't have to do this if you don't want to...”
The other boy smiled gently at him. “Too late now.”
Jaejoong looked up at Yunho, a look of “huh?” sprawled across his face.
Yunho looked longingly into Jaejoong’s eyes. They were so beautiful, yet so mysterious. He gently smiled at the other boy, while lightly caressing his cheek. Softly, he whispered to him, “I love you, too.”
Jaejoong looked back into Yunho’s eyes, pleasant disbelief reflecting in his own, brimming with happiness in the form of fresh tears. The younger boy leaned in closer to place a soft, tender kiss upon Jaejoong’s forehead.
Jaejoong closed his eyes, drinking in the moment, quenching his weary affection-parched thirst. As soon as he felt Yunho’s kiss, the first salted tear left the safety of his eyes, rolling down the smooth of his cheek and losing itself in Yunho’s shirt. He smiled, weakly, as he began to softly cry tears of happiness.
Yunho looked down at Jaejoong's face, and tenderly wiped away a tear. Jaejoong’s gentle crying had been reduced to nothing but mere sniffles. “How could I ever be disgusted by you?” Yunho asked him, gently. The other boy looked up at him. Yunho smiled, softly. “You're too damn cute.”
Jaejoong let out his infamous girlish giggle; sincere, sweet and shy.
Yunho leaned closer to Jaejoong, and kissed away another tear still rolling down the side of his cheek. He then softly placed another kiss upon his lips, this time, more ardent and passionate. It was almost as if he was saying, ‘It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.’
Jaejoong moved his mouth eagerly against the other boy's, tasting the forgotten traces of peppermint still lingering on his lips.
***
“’kay, we have, like, fifteen minutes till we’re on-we’re lucky the station’s just, like, right there-where the hell are they?!” Tong Vfang Xien Qi were getting ready to leave the hotel and head off to Inki Gayo for an appearance. This evening was one of the few times the usually deserted grand foyer would be full and bustling with activity and life; the make-up artists, wardrobe coordinators, hairstylists, the group’s entourage and the occasional reporter here and there scrambling about from one corner to the next. Everyone was getting ready to head on out into the vans-except for two. Micky was starting to get worried and a little frantic, for two of their members, Jaejoong and Yunho were missing. Changmin and Junsu stood by their friend, also wondering where the other two might be.
“Junsu, you told them we had to leave for Inki Gayo, right?” Micky turned to ask the blond-haired boy, somewhat panicking.
“I told Yunho…” Junsu answered him, his voice laced with worry.
“So then where the hell is Jaejoong?!” Micky screamed, looking about the foyer apprehensively.
“He’s not with the entourage?” Changmin piped up.
“No-“
“-I swore he was with the entourage…” Changmin thought to himself, aloud, furrowing his brow in concern.
“He was not with the entourage, Changmin.” Micky sighed.
Silence.
“kay, someone go find them.” Micky suggested.
“Please do!” A panicking make-up artist ran over to them, upon hearing their conversation. “You have less than fifteen minutes to get there, get ready, and get onstage!” She babbled on in one breath. “Do you boys know how long it takes for me to get the make-up on just right?!” She growled at them, her voice shrill and in a frenzied panic. “It is an art! You cannot rush art!!” She then continued to babble on something else in her high-pitched, shrill voice, but it was completely incomprehensible to the boy’s ears. They all stared at the woman, merely half their height, with wide eyes. Junsu thought she would start foaming at the mouth any second.
Finally, after a few more seconds of shriek-like babbling, she left the boys, and went screaming on her way to join the rest of the screaming and panicking inhabitants of the foyer. It was silent among the three for a few moments.
“Dammit.” Micky cursed. “SooMan’s gonna kill us. We’re done. Dongbang’s finished. It’s all over.”
“Oh yeah!” Junsu chimed in, a light bulb having gone off in his head. He turned to the boys to tell them of his idea. “Yunho said he wasn’t feeling all that great, so he had to lie down.” He explained to them. “Should we try his hotel room? Maybe he’s still there!”
Changmin shrugged. “Might as well.”
The three boys then made their way through the panicking foyer, dodging various people as they went on their way to the elevator. They frantically pushed the elevator buttons, in hopes that it would make it arrive faster. “Come on, let’s go…” Micky continually pressed the buttons.
3…
2…
G.
Ding.
Junsu, Changmin, and Micky hurriedly ran into the elevator, almost tripping over themselves, as they all packed in. Changmin pushed the number to their floor, and waited as the elevator took them up.
“The bastard probably fell asleep.” Micky grumbled.
“But I told him we had to leave soon.” Junsu reminded them. “He said he wouldn’t forget…”
“Oh well.” Changmin said, easily the most carefree of the three of them. Ding. The door opened up, and the boys quickly ran out, heading towards their wing of the floor. “Let’s just get him and get outta here.”
They hurried down the hall, stopping in front of Yunho’s door. Micky sighed. “Yunho, we know you’re in there!” He yelled, as he reached for the doorknob. They knew Yunho never left his door locked while he was inside, so Micky freely turned the doorknob, hoping it would be unlocked. “C’mon, we gotta-what the fuck?!”
The instant they heard Micky’s outburst, Junsu and Changmin pushed the door open wider-and stared in complete shock at what they saw before them. They found Yunho and Jaejoong in bed together under Yunho’s now tousled sheets, engaged in a heatedly passionate kiss. Their clothes remained tossed haphazardly across the floor. Both boys immediately broke apart and stared, and stared with wide eyes at their fellow band members at the door. Junsu, Changmin and Micky stared back with equally dumbfounded expressions.
Finding now the most appropriate time, silence once again came to join them, cheekily floating around the room. It smirked at the sight of the two boys caught in the act, and giggled at the expressions of the three boys at the door. It wasn’t ready to leave just yet, for it was having far too much fun witnessing this embarrassing situation. It happily floated from the two boys at the bed, to the three boys at the door. But it knew it couldn’t stay forever, despite the fun it was having. Pouting, it reluctantly disappeared, allowing Yunho’s, now meek voice, to be heard:
“… I forgot, didn’t I?”
::END::
***
Notes//You can take “peppermint” either one of two ways: Yunho had some peppermint candy beforehand and love, it’s sweet, omg, yay! (^o^) Or, the actual meaning of the peppermint flower is “warmth of feelings.” Also, if you’ve dreamed of serving peppermint, it means you are likely to have a legacy from-or an unexpected benefit through-a very distant relation.
Thanks so very much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it~ :D
Author: tempo
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeHo <3
Author’s Notes: It takes place around April-May 2004. (^-^) I suppose you could call it fluff... :3 What I did with the fic was kinda incorporate real-life events, but tweaked them to fit the story. (^-^) Constructive criticism always welcome~ :D
{Chapter 1::}
{Chapter 2::}
{Chapter 3::}
{Chapter 4::}
{Chapter 5::}
Chapter 6::
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Jaejoong stood alone in that small well-lit room, abandoned, still facing the open doorway where Yunho once stood. He was hoping he would hear his friend’s footsteps making their way back again. He eagerly anticipated his return, but was only given the comfort of the deafening silence that now surrounded him. He tightly shut his eyes, as he heard its sharp, piercing voice scolding him of the bitter consequences he now had to face because of his selfish actions.
He didn’t want to hear it. He wasn’t doing anything wrong; all he wanted was for everything to be okay again. That was all that he had ever wanted, all he had ever needed. Relentlessly, he heard their sharp, shrill voices screaming at him, cursing him, filling his head and feeding on his subtle insecurities that persistently held him back. Having not the strength to fight it anymore, he meekly surrendered to the silence, releasing his eyes from their taut captivity. His gaze still remained fixed on the door, watching it as if in a trance. He heard the voices of silence become softer, and softer still, until he heard them quietly fade away, leaving him with nothing more but himself.
He frowned as his scattered thoughts turned once again to Yunho. Why did he leave? What was he about to say? Jaejoong’s mind darted from one reason to another, struggling with every possible answer he threw at himself. Could it have been that Yunho was upset with him? He had left all too quickly, and maybe perhaps out of frustration. Jaejoong nervously bit his lip, furrowing his eyebrows. He didn’t mean to make Yunho so upset with him-that wasn’t his intention at all, not in the least. He was just…
But what if it was too late? Jaejoong had successfully succeeded in putting a rift in their friendship; Yunho thought that Jaejoong hated him. The older boy smirked bitterly to himself, hearing Yunho’s voice in his head, as he recollected the moments of before. Suddenly, he gasped slightly, eyes widening, as his mind began to fill itself with morbid thoughts and reasons, his eyes darkening over with doubt. What if Yunho had given up? He had been patient all this time, but what if he had become overwhelmed with such frustration that it caused him to give up on them, completely? Jaejoong felt his insides begin to tie themselves in countless, painful knots, as he felt his mind become clouded over with worry. He couldn’t bare losing Yunho; he was his best friend. He had always been there for Jaejoong, and Jaejoong had always been there for him. The reality that he may have truly lost his best friend hit him hard, causing his whole body to weaken, as he slightly stumbled back, finding strength in the wall behind him. He pressed his back into the wall with the little strength he had left, completely disillusioned, as he felt his eyes become glazed over with freshly, salted tears.
What had he done?
Why didn’t he just tell Yunho what was going on to begin with? He grit his teeth and mentally kicked himself for waiting till it got to this. Regardless of what could’ve happened, Jaejoong should’ve told him sooner. But what if Yunho hated him, too? It would’ve been all his fault. He couldn’t live with that. Sighing, he clumsily wiped away the impatient tears about to streak his face. He had to tell Yunho. There was simply no way around it anymore. It was either now or never-he had to tell him. Determined, but still under the careful watch of doubt, he released himself from the wall and made his way towards the door.
“Yunho… ?”
Junsu frowned as he watched Yunho slowly trudging his way down the hall towards him. Junsu had just locked the door to his hotel room, and was happily making his way down the brightly lit hall towards the elevator. He stopped abruptly in his tracks when he spotted Yunho trudging, almost dazedly, down the hall. He was slightly hunched over, and seemed as if he couldn’t see where he was going. This was very unlike Yunho, who would always walk proudly with the utmost air of confidence. At first, Junsu thought that he might’ve been drunk, considering the way that he was carrying himself. He tilted his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity, as he watched Yunho slowly approaching in his direction.
Junsu’s eyes widened as Yunho drew closer and closer still, completely oblivious to Junsu’s presence. In alarm, Junsu brought his arms out in front of him to stop Yunho from walking into him and to get his attention. “Whoa! Hey… ” Yunho had been lost and completely engulfed in his own thoughts, so much, that he didn’t even notice Junsu in front of him.
“Huh?” Yunho snapped back into reality upon hearing Junsu’s voice. He stopped and looked at the frantic blond-haired boy that was holding him back. “Oh!” He smiled weakly in apology. “Sorry, Junsu.”
Junsu, however, did not return the smile. Instead, he stared into the face of his friend, a look of genuine concern written across his childlike features. “You okay?” He finally asked him.
As simple a question as it was, Yunho didn’t really know how to answer him. He physically seemed okay, but his mind was a complete mess. He felt confused and uncertain. Everything seemed jumbled and unfamiliar to him. Nothing really seemed to make sense anymore. Was he okay? He really didn’t know. Somewhat unsure, he spoke, “… Y-yeah, why?”
“You look like you’re gonna throw up, or something.” Junsu told him, frowning slightly. His face then took on a concerned look of worry as he looked into the face of his friend. “Are you sick?”
Yunho, not wanting to trouble the younger boy, quickly laughed and smiled the whole thing off. “Oh, no, I’m fine. I just… need to lie down for a bit.”
“Oh…” Somewhat satisfied with that answer, Junsu slowly let go of Yunho. However, an air of worry still left lingering faintly across his features. “O-okay.” He gave Yunho an encouraging smile, and then continued on his way past the older boy. Yunho, too, continued on his way towards his hotel room, however, a little more composed this time. Suddenly, Junsu stopped, having remembered something, and spun around on his heel to face the older boy again. “But don’t be too long, Yunho! We gotta leave in about an hour.”
“Where we goin’?” Yunho asked, confused, as he turned his head over to look at Junsu down the hall.
“Inki Gayo.” The younger boy answered, cheerfully. “We’re performing ‘My Little Princess,’ remember?”
“Oh! Right, right…” Yunho said, remembering the group’s plans for the evening. They were only residing at this hotel for a few days and tonight was their last night here. They would be leaving the following morning. “Don’t worry, I won’t forget.”
“Good, you better not!” Junsu laughed, jokingly. “Hope you feel better!” He waved Yunho goodbye, as he left.
Yunho smiled at the younger boy’s cheerfulness, as he watched him disappear with the “ding” of the elevator. Usually, all five of the boys would share a hotel room, depending on where they were staying. This one hotel that their manager picked for them was “the best of the best.” It was large on a grand scale, and was known for its world-class hospitality, and of course, the incredible artistry. Each drop of lush paint on the wall, each fibre of the rich carpets, each tile on the lustrous marble floors, even each chandelier on the ceiling breathed with the vivid intensity of life. The hotel itself almost seemed like a fine art gallery, its artistic inhabitants guarding careful watch of the priceless artefacts that decorated each floor.
In this hotel, and rare ones of its stature, each Tong Vfang Xien Qi member would receive their own hotel room. It was a nice change for the boys, because as much as they loved each other, they needed a break from one another every now and then. For Yunho, now was one of those times. He needed some time on his own to sort his head out and think.
He fished around in his pockets, until he found his room key and brought it out, fastening it in the intricate lock. He turned the key and opened his room door, spilling the light from the hallway into the dark crevices of his large, spacious hotel room. His curtains were shut closed.
Not bothering to hit the light-switch, he shut the door behind him and made his way over to sit on the edge of the large, four-poster canopy bed. It was early evening and the sun was getting ready to bid its farewell. The orange rays tried their hardest to filter through the layers of navy-colored sheer curtain, but to no avail. Yunho released a heavy sigh, as he ran his fingers through his tousled, dark brown hair. He needed some time on his own to think. And here, in the darkness of his room, he supposed he could get some thinking done. Again, about the other:
Jaejoong.
Yunho had almost told him that he loved him. What scared Yunho even more was that he had almost said it. But what he didn’t understand was why he was about to say it in the first place. Did he really love Jaejoong? Could it be possible that it was love that Yunho was feeling all these years for the other boy? He knew that he deeply cared for Jaejoong, but he never thought that it could have ever been love. It wasn’t that he couldn’t love the older boy, but he never knew that he actually could love him.
Yunho smiled to himself. But how could he have not loved Jaejoong? He was one of the most caring of people that Yunho had ever known. He had a warm, welcoming heart that took in anything and anyone that felt even just a little bit alone. Not to mention, his witty, and almost childlike sense of humour. No matter what he did, he always somehow managed to bring a smile to Yunho’s face. And Jaejoong’s smile. That was one of the things that Yunho loved the most. When he smiled or laughed, his whole being would seem to light up and come alive with such spirit. Yunho loved it even more when he, himself, was the one to bring that smile to his face. It filled him with such happiness, such joy, to see the one he cared so much about so happy. Jaejoong was one of the most amazing people he had ever been privileged to know. And also…
… a guy.
Yunho never really thought of himself to be a homosexual. Up until now, he was one hundred percent certain that he was only attracted to girls.
Well, physically, at least.
But, the more he thought about it, maybe he could be attracted to guys, as well? He felt some sort of attraction to Jaejoong, but it was a different sort of attraction than he had experienced before. With his previous girlfriends, he had only really been drawn to them for their looks at first, then personality and all that good stuff afterwards. But maybe with Jaejoong, it was different? Did it go backwards with him, and he was attracted to his personality at first? Or maybe Yunho was bisexual. But if that was the case, why would he only be attracted to Jaejoong, and no one else?
As each thought flew by, Yunho became more and more confused. He cursed himself for thinking about Jaejoong in this way. What was Jaejoong doing to him? He looked over at his night table on the left side of the large bed, and spotted his mp3 player. He leaned over and picked it up, placing his earphones deftly in his ears. He lay down on the bed, pressed the play button and closed his eyes. He decided to drown out his thoughts in some loud music, hopefully to get his mind off of the other.
Jaejoong’s nerves slowly began eating away at him, as the elevator took him higher and higher up in the hotel. He exhaled deeply, trying to somewhat calm himself down, as he rubbed the back of his neck with his fingers. He heard the dreaded “ding” of the elevator, signalling the arrival of his destination. He groaned as the door opened, and reluctantly dragged himself out of the elevator. He sighed. It was either now or never. He looked towards their wing of the floor, the vibrant light spilling over into the hall. He gulped. He felt himself being moved down the hall, and saw the distance between himself and the elevator slowly increasing behind him. His feet subconsciously guided him down the hall, however his mind was still stuck in that same time frame of moments ago. With each footstep, he felt himself become weighed down heavier and heavier with the overwhelming feeling of fear.
He didn’t know how long he was walking through that hall, but it seemed as if an eternity had passed by when he had reached the door of Yunho’s room. He stared at the doorknob as if it may burn him to touch it. He hesitantly reached out for the knob, and placed his hand around it, holding it firmly. If he was lucky, Yunho wouldn’t be in there, and the door would be locked. Mustering up all the courage he could, he slowly began to turn the doorknob and to his surprise-it was unlocked.
“Fuck.” He cursed under his breath.
He slowly began to push the door open, and peeked in slowly through the crack in the door. From what he could see, Yunho looked like he was asleep. After going through all the self-torture just to get here, Jaejoong felt bad about having to wake him up. But he really needed to talk to him. Jaejoong opened the door wider, allowing himself to step inside the darkened room. He quietly closed the door behind him without a sound, and turned to face Yunho.
He was lying peacefully on the bed with his eyes closed, but Jaejoong noticed that he was not asleep. He walked closer to him and could clearly hear music emanating from his earphones. Jaejoong frowned. He thought he told him to get new earphones-those were crap. He walked closer to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, beside Yunho. He looked longingly at the other boy’s face, as he smiled to himself. His face looked so mild and so peaceful as he lay there seemingly without a care in the world. He turned his eyes away from Yunho, and looked over to his right. He saw the ivory dresser by the far wall, atop of it, a bowl of peppermint candies, care of the hotel. He frowned. How come he didn’t get any candy? Before he could give it a second thought, he felt Yunho’s body beside him begin to stir. Jaejoong inwardly braced himself; it was too late to run away.
Jaejoong turned slowly to face Yunho, who was now sitting up on the bed with him. A surprised look animated the younger boy’s features as he stared in disbelief at the raven-haired boy beside him.
“Jaejoong-?”
“-Yunho...” Jaejoong began. “We need to talk.”
Yunho, not yet ready to speak, nodded and let Jaejoong continue.
Jaejoong let out a broken sigh, and looked at Yunho with sincerity reflected in his eyes. “Look… I'm sorry. It's just...” He trailed off. “You're right. I haven't been myself lately. I didn't really know what got into me. I mean, I knew, but... at the same time I didn't... but I knew the whole time.” He stopped, trying to gather up his thoughts. “... Does that make sense?”
Yunho shook his head.
Jaejoong smiled slightly, scratching his head. “I thought so.” He looked away from Yunho, placing both his hands on his lap, before starting to twiddle his thumbs. He nervously looked down at his hands and bit his lip. “The thing is, I...” He trailed off, not really sure of what he should say. “Well...” He started again, and then stopped. He paused for a while, as he tried to find the right words. “I really don't know how to say this without freaking you out first...”
Upon hearing that, Yunho immediately feared the worst. “Jaejoong, what’s wrong?” He asked him, his voice laced with genuine concern.
“Yunho,” Jaejoong began, looking up at the boy in front of him. “If you were to tell someone something, and once you said it, you'd know that they'd never look at you the same way again... would you tell them?”
“Jae-“
“-But let's say… you want them to look at you differently... but in the way that you look at them.” Jaejoong explained. “But you knew that there was no way that could possibly happen.” He looked at Yunho with a look of hope fighting in his eyes. “… Would you still tell them?”
Yunho, not really sure of what it was Jaejoong was talking about, thought nothing much but to simply shrug.
“Would you?” He pleaded to him, his voice filled with desperation.
“Um...” Yunho thought about it to himself for a while. Somewhat unsure, he answered, “I guess if they're involved, then yeah, they should know.”
The look of fighting desperation in Jaejoong’s eyes began to fade, as Yunho saw them become filled with a subtle fear. “But what if you're afraid…” He began after a while. “… that they might be so horrified from what you tell them, that you might lose them? And that everything you've built up together would just fall?”
“Well, I-“
“-But you don't wanna lose that, ‘cause it means so much to you.” Jaejoong continued. “But by not telling them, it just ends up hurting you even more. The both of you.”
Upon that statement, Yunho began to listen in closer and more carefully into what Jaejoong was telling him. He thought for a few moments, trying to give Jaejoong the best advice he possibly could. “... I think if they've always stood by you no matter what, then it shouldn't matter... ‘cause they'll always be there for you.”
Silence joined them for a few moments. It made its way between both boys, for it seemed neither of them were ready to speak just yet. It sat patiently between both Jaejoong and Yunho, waiting for the right moment for it to fade away. But now was not the time, at the moment. And so it sat there, surrounding both boys, making them both feel somewhat nervous, for there was this unknown presence in the room with them. It was somewhat unwelcome, but neither of them had the heart to tell it to leave. And so they sat there, waiting for the right time to bid it on its way.
Silence began to sense that its time here would soon be over. It felt the presence of a voice that may slowly come into existence. It smiled at them, and quietly faded away, allowing Jaejoong to speak.
“… What if you were in love with your best friend?” He asked, looking up at Yunho, his voice barely above a whisper.
At that, Yunho was extremely taken aback. He stared, completely dumbfounded at the other boy. “… Jaejoong-“
“-But you were afraid.” He continued. “You were scared of what might happen ... or what was happening.” He looked down, slightly. “You were confused.” He looked up at Yunho, with desperation fighting in his eyes. “I mean, you didn't know what was wrong with you! Like... you thought, or at least, assumed you liked girls, yet...” He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “… every time you were around your best friend...” He began. “… you'd... feel something. Something that no one's ever made you feel before; guy or girl.” He explained to Yunho.
“And that's why you got scared.” He continued. “You were like, ‘Stop thinking like that! This is your best friend. You're not s'posed to be feeling like this with your best friend.’ And so those feelings you felt towards them... they wouldn't go away, no matter how hard you tried to block them out, mentally... so you tried to do it physically.” He explained. “You thought if maybe you just kept yourself as far away from them as you could, those feelings would fade away. But instead, it just made it worse.” He looked away from Yunho, reminiscing in his own thoughts.
He looked back up at him again. “... You missed them.” His voice was tenderly laced with affection. “You hated not talking to them, you hated them not being there. But you wanted them there the whole time!” He pleaded to the other boy. “At one point, you even thought, you know, ‘Why don't I just tell them?’ ... But it wasn't that easy. You knew that once you told them, your friendship would never be the same again.” He looked down, slightly. “... They'd look at you differently ... treat you differently ... maybe even avoid you.” He shrugged. “I mean, yeah, it's one thing to have feelings for them... but it's another thing for them to actually return them back. I guess you could probably handle rejection, but what if they were disgusted by you? What if people found out? What would they think? You were scared of not being accepted--and ultimately losing your job, ‘cause your manager's just... crazy like that, but that's not the point.”
Yunho laughed slightly at the other boy’s remark. They all had to agree: their manager was insane.
Jaejoong smiled, too, along with him. But his happiness was short-lived, for he had to continue. He paused again, before he spoke. “And so you just kept thinking about them... ‘cause that's all you could do. And so you thought about them. You thought about them every minute of every fucking day, constantly.” He looked at Yunho, with a sincere look of pain in his eyes. “And it hurt, ‘cause you knew you couldn't have them.” He paused, looking down into his lap, before continuing. He smiled, slightly. “... You'd never felt this way about anyone, like the way you feel with them. ... You didn't know what it was before... but you know now... that you love them.”
This time, Yunho willingly allowed silence to once again come and join them. He needed its company to allow him to put his own thoughts together, as well. After listening to Jaejoong’s story, and remembering all of the moments of before, it all made sense now. Perfect sense. The constant distance Jaejoong kept putting between them, the avoiding, and the sudden shyness-Jaejoong liked him. No. He loved him. But why? Yunho had never once seriously thought that Jaejoong was interested in guys. The thought may have crossed his mind a couple of times, because of Jaejoong’s touchiness amongst the group. But Yunho had always assumed he was just playing around; that’s how Jaejoong was. He allowed silence to stay just a bit longer, as he let his mind travel back to that GIA photo shoot a bit over a week ago. He remembered that look of forlornness written across Jaejoong’s face, during their “false marriage.” Could he have been…
“… How long have you felt this way about me?” Yunho asked Jaejoong, abruptly dismissing the silence.
Jaejoong looked up at him, a little scared. “… Honestly?” He asked him.
Yunho nodded.
Jaejoong thought for a moment, then shrugged. “… Since I first met you.” He smiled, slightly.
Yunho frowned.
The older boy smiled again, upon seeing Yunho’s confused expression. “... I always liked spending time with you. I dunno, I was just... drawn to you... I guess. To be honest, though, I spend the most time with you more than anyone else in our whole group.” He brought his hand up to his mouth, as he laughed, slightly. “... I liked being there with you. And I guess over the years that... ‘liking’ kinda grew into something more.”
“Into what it is now?” Yunho asked him.
Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah.” He smiled sheepishly, then looked away from Yunho, slightly nervous.
Yunho was completely overwhelmed; Jaejoong had just confessed to him that he loved him. And he knew that he, too, felt something for Jaejoong, as well. But what it was exactly, he wasn’t sure. Could it be possible that it was love that Yunho felt for Jaejoong, too? He looked at the raven-haired boy slightly fidgeting in front of him; his nerves were eating away at him again. Yunho smiled slightly, to himself, almost in pity of the other boy. Was it love? Yunho had to physically prove it to himself somehow…
Jaejoong was beginning to worry. Why wasn’t Yunho saying anything? His long, stretched-out period of silence was beginning to make him even more nervous than he already was. The dark cloud of doubt that had been carefully watching over him, started to loom low, and become heavier. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Jaejoong regretted ever telling him anything. He shouldn’t have told him. What if Yunho probably hated him now? He sat uncomfortably, almost squirming, in his spot on the bed beside the other boy.
After seemingly endless moments of nervousness, Yunho finally broke the awkward silence. “… Jaejoong-“
“-I know, I know. You hate me.”
“Jaej-“
“-You’re completely grossed out.”
“Jae-“
“-I should've never said anything in the first place.”
“Jaejoo-“
“-I’ll understand if you never wanna speak to me ever again.”
“Jaejoong!” Yunho leaned in closer to the older boy, grabbing him by the shoulders to get his attention.
“What?” He asked, worriedly. He looked into Yunho’s eyes, not knowing what to expect.
Yunho looked into Jaejoong’s face, and almost seemed as if he was looking at him for the first time. In spite of the darkened room, he couldn’t help but notice just how beautiful Jaejoong really was. He allowed himself to freely see the boy in a different light, without inhibition, despite the darkness. His eyes began to carefully search Jaejoong’s features. As silly as it seemed, although he knew Jaejoong was there, he wanted to feel him being there. He had always kept Jaejoong in his mind and in his heart, but this was something that he felt he needed to do: he had to know it was real. He had to prove both Jaejoong, and his love for him to himself by physically feeling them. He needed to know it was real.
Yunho reached his hand up towards Jaejoong’s face, gingerly at first. The older boy looked back at him, slightly confused. Yunho brought his hand over to Jaejoong’s forehead, and gently brushed his bangs away from his eyes, feeling the silken raven strands slip delicately through his fingers. He loved how they fell back into place so perfectly. He traced the shape of his doe-like brown eyes, taking careful note of their beauty. His fingers then moved down his face, stopping to caress his rosy-flushed cheek, feeling the warmth of Jaejoong’s blush underneath his fingertips. Yunho gently smiled at him. He lightly grazed his fingers down Jaejoong’s cheek towards his lips; full, and kissed with hues of light, soft pinks. Yunho lightly brushed them over with his thumb, feeling their supple softness. He then looked into Jaejoong’s eyes, and Jaejoong looked back into his, his face blushing fiercer by the second. Yunho slowly leaned in closer to Jaejoong’s face, until they were merely inches apart. He could almost feel the heat radiating off of the other boy’s cheeks. Hand still cupped gently against the his face, Yunho finally closed the distance between them, as he softly pressed his lips against Jaejoong’s, feeling their velvety suppleness against his own.
It felt right. Nothing else seemed to matter to him anymore. As soon as he felt the reassuring softness of Jaejoong’s lips touch his own, all the doubt was completely erased from his mind. It was real. It was genuine: Jaejoong, Yunho’s love for him-everything. All of it, it was real. He loved Jaejoong. He knew now… that he loved him.
Jaejoong was surprised, at first, at the boldness of the other boy’s actions. But he allowed his eyelids to flutter closed, his soft lips lingering for a moment, before he leaned into the kiss further. He kissed Yunho back, his lips softly grazing the other boy’s, laced with passion. He parted his lips slightly, deepening the kiss, desperately wanting to taste the other boy and feel him as his own. But something told him to stop. He reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, and looked away almost guiltily.
Yunho was confused. Did he do something wrong?
“We shouldn't.” Jaejoong told him. “I mean, you don't have to do this if you don't want to...”
The other boy smiled gently at him. “Too late now.”
Jaejoong looked up at Yunho, a look of “huh?” sprawled across his face.
Yunho looked longingly into Jaejoong’s eyes. They were so beautiful, yet so mysterious. He gently smiled at the other boy, while lightly caressing his cheek. Softly, he whispered to him, “I love you, too.”
Jaejoong looked back into Yunho’s eyes, pleasant disbelief reflecting in his own, brimming with happiness in the form of fresh tears. The younger boy leaned in closer to place a soft, tender kiss upon Jaejoong’s forehead.
Jaejoong closed his eyes, drinking in the moment, quenching his weary affection-parched thirst. As soon as he felt Yunho’s kiss, the first salted tear left the safety of his eyes, rolling down the smooth of his cheek and losing itself in Yunho’s shirt. He smiled, weakly, as he began to softly cry tears of happiness.
Yunho looked down at Jaejoong's face, and tenderly wiped away a tear. Jaejoong’s gentle crying had been reduced to nothing but mere sniffles. “How could I ever be disgusted by you?” Yunho asked him, gently. The other boy looked up at him. Yunho smiled, softly. “You're too damn cute.”
Jaejoong let out his infamous girlish giggle; sincere, sweet and shy.
Yunho leaned closer to Jaejoong, and kissed away another tear still rolling down the side of his cheek. He then softly placed another kiss upon his lips, this time, more ardent and passionate. It was almost as if he was saying, ‘It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.’
Jaejoong moved his mouth eagerly against the other boy's, tasting the forgotten traces of peppermint still lingering on his lips.
***
“’kay, we have, like, fifteen minutes till we’re on-we’re lucky the station’s just, like, right there-where the hell are they?!” Tong Vfang Xien Qi were getting ready to leave the hotel and head off to Inki Gayo for an appearance. This evening was one of the few times the usually deserted grand foyer would be full and bustling with activity and life; the make-up artists, wardrobe coordinators, hairstylists, the group’s entourage and the occasional reporter here and there scrambling about from one corner to the next. Everyone was getting ready to head on out into the vans-except for two. Micky was starting to get worried and a little frantic, for two of their members, Jaejoong and Yunho were missing. Changmin and Junsu stood by their friend, also wondering where the other two might be.
“Junsu, you told them we had to leave for Inki Gayo, right?” Micky turned to ask the blond-haired boy, somewhat panicking.
“I told Yunho…” Junsu answered him, his voice laced with worry.
“So then where the hell is Jaejoong?!” Micky screamed, looking about the foyer apprehensively.
“He’s not with the entourage?” Changmin piped up.
“No-“
“-I swore he was with the entourage…” Changmin thought to himself, aloud, furrowing his brow in concern.
“He was not with the entourage, Changmin.” Micky sighed.
Silence.
“kay, someone go find them.” Micky suggested.
“Please do!” A panicking make-up artist ran over to them, upon hearing their conversation. “You have less than fifteen minutes to get there, get ready, and get onstage!” She babbled on in one breath. “Do you boys know how long it takes for me to get the make-up on just right?!” She growled at them, her voice shrill and in a frenzied panic. “It is an art! You cannot rush art!!” She then continued to babble on something else in her high-pitched, shrill voice, but it was completely incomprehensible to the boy’s ears. They all stared at the woman, merely half their height, with wide eyes. Junsu thought she would start foaming at the mouth any second.
Finally, after a few more seconds of shriek-like babbling, she left the boys, and went screaming on her way to join the rest of the screaming and panicking inhabitants of the foyer. It was silent among the three for a few moments.
“Dammit.” Micky cursed. “SooMan’s gonna kill us. We’re done. Dongbang’s finished. It’s all over.”
“Oh yeah!” Junsu chimed in, a light bulb having gone off in his head. He turned to the boys to tell them of his idea. “Yunho said he wasn’t feeling all that great, so he had to lie down.” He explained to them. “Should we try his hotel room? Maybe he’s still there!”
Changmin shrugged. “Might as well.”
The three boys then made their way through the panicking foyer, dodging various people as they went on their way to the elevator. They frantically pushed the elevator buttons, in hopes that it would make it arrive faster. “Come on, let’s go…” Micky continually pressed the buttons.
3…
2…
G.
Ding.
Junsu, Changmin, and Micky hurriedly ran into the elevator, almost tripping over themselves, as they all packed in. Changmin pushed the number to their floor, and waited as the elevator took them up.
“The bastard probably fell asleep.” Micky grumbled.
“But I told him we had to leave soon.” Junsu reminded them. “He said he wouldn’t forget…”
“Oh well.” Changmin said, easily the most carefree of the three of them. Ding. The door opened up, and the boys quickly ran out, heading towards their wing of the floor. “Let’s just get him and get outta here.”
They hurried down the hall, stopping in front of Yunho’s door. Micky sighed. “Yunho, we know you’re in there!” He yelled, as he reached for the doorknob. They knew Yunho never left his door locked while he was inside, so Micky freely turned the doorknob, hoping it would be unlocked. “C’mon, we gotta-what the fuck?!”
The instant they heard Micky’s outburst, Junsu and Changmin pushed the door open wider-and stared in complete shock at what they saw before them. They found Yunho and Jaejoong in bed together under Yunho’s now tousled sheets, engaged in a heatedly passionate kiss. Their clothes remained tossed haphazardly across the floor. Both boys immediately broke apart and stared, and stared with wide eyes at their fellow band members at the door. Junsu, Changmin and Micky stared back with equally dumbfounded expressions.
Finding now the most appropriate time, silence once again came to join them, cheekily floating around the room. It smirked at the sight of the two boys caught in the act, and giggled at the expressions of the three boys at the door. It wasn’t ready to leave just yet, for it was having far too much fun witnessing this embarrassing situation. It happily floated from the two boys at the bed, to the three boys at the door. But it knew it couldn’t stay forever, despite the fun it was having. Pouting, it reluctantly disappeared, allowing Yunho’s, now meek voice, to be heard:
“… I forgot, didn’t I?”
::END::
***
Notes//You can take “peppermint” either one of two ways: Yunho had some peppermint candy beforehand and love, it’s sweet, omg, yay! (^o^) Or, the actual meaning of the peppermint flower is “warmth of feelings.” Also, if you’ve dreamed of serving peppermint, it means you are likely to have a legacy from-or an unexpected benefit through-a very distant relation.
Thanks so very much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it~ :D