i guess its just not time to end this.
"Brandon means the world to me and when you affect him in any way, you're gone!" this is a quoat from Tracy's jounral on april 5, 2005. now i think i would get lucky to hear somthing like that only to the fact that there is someone affecting me. i hate to admit it but love hurts. it really does. idk i guess love is sitting up at 11:37 crying to yourself wondering when the love of your life is going to come home from another guys house. Moving up here is not all what i expected. i want to turn back the hands of time so i can be happy once again. nothave to cry any more. i normaly dont cry but when it comes to the fact of how tracy and i are doing all i can do is ball my eyes out. i love her so much and i dont think she even knows its. even worst i think she doesnt love me anymore. i cant even talk about her without crying. i asked her if she had feelings for him the other night and she said no which was a huge relief but i still wonder. i cant lose her. she means the world to me and i want a chance to make everything right. This is the hardest thing i have ever gone thru and now i know what i put her thru. i hate myself for it too. i love the days when i could hold her til we fell asleep knowing she would love me til the end.i dont feel that anymore and i really want to. i hate all this crying and i have no one to talk to anymore. since i moved up here i dont talk to my friends. shes the only one i have to turn to and now im getting a taste of my own medicine. how could i hurt someone like her. shes a goddess. we used to share a dream of growing old together and having a family. well today when i was waiting for her to return from work i was fliping thru channels and seen the show cheaters was on and i couldnt help but wonder. i have been hurt so many time in the past and i have a feeling im going to be hurt again. i'll never find another person like her. she means so much to me. if i dont have her i dotn want to be alive. i mean it. not a minute goes by that i dont stop thinking about her. someone please help me out here. i cant even talk to her anymore. i need some help please.