I sit and watch as tears go by... 2 years later
I'm numb... I don't think i have ever felt such numbness over a House fiasco before... And there have been plenty of mindfucks with those mindfuckers that we got involved with...
I was traveling today... I crossed half my country and in the meantime i went through sunshine, snow, wind, rain and then back to sunshine... I spent many hours in that bus. But for the first time in my life, i didn't realize how the time passed... I haven't eaten all day and i was on the verge of vomiting at least 3 times, not because of a crappy road, but because i just felt sick only thinking about what i witnessed last night... That totally and completely unfair murder. Because, for me, yes, that was a murder.
Can someone give me a good reason as to why this happened??? It's a simple, one word question:WHY? Why did they have to break them up? Why did House have to go back to Vicodin? And for the effin love of God, WHY DO THEY NEED TO NEGATE EVERYTHING??????? Why, why and again WHY???
I feel betrayed by everyone involved with House. Everyone. I feel betrayed by Hugh, who didn't ever come out for once in these few months the dream lasted to fucking give a joint interview with his on-screen girlfriend. I feel betrayed by the only actress i admired the most as a human being and as an artist in my whole life: Lisa. She was always the Queen of Huddy (i still hate the word "Huddy" but, wtf, i don't even care anymore) and her opinion was the only one i trusted blindly. She was the one who first spoke of the beauty that "Joy" was, and it indeed exceeded all of my expectations. She was the one who cunningly warned us about the hallucination we would face in "Both Sides Now", so i was mentally prepared before the episode aired... She was the one who spoke of her "favourite Huddy scene" being in "Help Me", thus giving me hope back in s6, when i had lost almost all of it, and she was true. And when i saw her being so enthousiastic about "Bombshells" i decided to trust her again, with all my heart, and put aside whatever reasons i had to feel worried sick about it. But after that ending, i feel like she cheated on me... On all of us...
Help Me... God, seriously, help me. When i first saw that final scene last May, the first whole sentence i articulated was "This is the final episode of the show for me. I wish House just ended this way, this beautiful, sweet and happy way. I don't need to see anything else, because if i do, this beauty will someday fall apart." I can't believe that I was so damn right. Why the fucking fuck did i have to be right??? WHY? The only thing after that finale that i REALLY wanted to see, was the unaired s7 premiere "Thunder Roadtrip". All those photos and spoilers of awesomeness made me think it would be a great movielike episode to end the series in that happy tone and leave me with good memories of it... but nooooooooo.... Of course not...
I feel betrayed by the man that felt like an idol to me: Greg Yaitanes. The Greek director who worked with the people i always admired. The person who lives my dream. The person who once was polite, but then got davidshoritis and mindfuckitis and turned into a bitch towards his fans and the fans of his show. The person who has given life to the most beautiful stories and to the worst ones too... I know that what happened last night is not his fault, but i just can't help but wonder, how is it that a fellow so-called Huddy fan turns into such an SOB at times?? Why would he say "RIP Huddy" when he knows how much we are hurting?
And of course, i feel once again betrayed by Sara Hess, Liz Friedman, Katie Jacobs and the Lord of the Evil, David Shore. I just don't get it. 5 years and half a season with Stacy, 2 years of stupid crashes with Cameron, 3 years of a successful Chameron, 1 year of that awful Luddy,2 freaking years of idiotic gayish jokes with House and Wilson, but when it comes to the most important relationship in the history of the show, in the history of the show's hero, in his life and in his heart, his relationship with the woman he loved and needed the most, we only fucking get 15 episodes?? 15 episodes with no real kisses, with obstacles thrown here and there out of nowhere, just to create silly dramas, because otherwise the dynamic of the show "would be ruined" (seriously??? SERIOUSLY???) ??? And as if that was not enough, they threw in the trush one and a half year of House trying to stay clean, fighting for happiness, away from pills, away from misery, just making efforts to be a human being like all others, a human who wants love and someone on his side.. I just can't take it!!!
I was never really excited with Hess and Friedman's episodes after what happened in "Joy To The World". When they made Cuddy adopt Rachel, they weakened her. They changed her. The woman that ditched her boyfriend last night was not the Cuddy we all know, the Cuddy we were watching in the entire episode, the fighter. How could she give up on him?
"I know you're screwed up. I know you are always gonna be screwed up. But you are the most incredible man i know. You are always gonna be the most incredible man i have ever known." And knowing all that, I love you. And "it's gonna be great". THAT's what she said. How can she be so weak and leave him because he was so scared SHE would die, that he took vicodin ONCE????
ANd how about him?? WHY OH GOD WHY DID HE HAVE TO TAKE VICODIN FOR FUCK'S SAKES?????? How can he throw away all of his efforts like that??? "If I had to choose... I would choose you. I would choose being happy with you." Just a week earlier, he said those words. Where is their meaning now?? Thrown in the trush along with that freaking toothbrush? (don't even let me go there, seriously.) But when i can get his fear of pain and maybe, just MAYBE the reason why he took vicodin again in the first place, i can't understand how SHE could ditch him like that, when she knew who he was and fucking everything about what made him who he is, his weaknesses and his all?? HOW COULD SHE??
WHY HESS AND FRIENDMAN AND SHORE, WHY, FUCKING WHY??????????
When "Both Sides Now" aired, i was devastated. I cried for days, I didn't go to the university for one week and i forgot to eat. But when i rewatched it, i was able to see its brilliance and the message that it carried: House was so desperate to be happy and to earn Cuddy's heart, that when he thought he wouldn't, he cheated his own mind, his intellect, the one thing about himself he cared about the most, in order to create a reality where all those things happened. He gave up his freedom and the high of vicodin willingly so that he could fight for the life he wanted. That alone, was so huge and so filled with hope for the future, that kept me going even when during the whole of s6, hope was so far away from me that i couldn't even recognize its light.
But now... Now all hope is lost. They ripped out my heart and i can't even put it inside a chest, like Davy Jones. David Shore says it's definitely over and never meant to last anyway. His writers say that it even lasted longer than expected. Are you telling me that when in the beginning of the season they came out and said that they would give this relationship a REAL chance, they meant 15 episodes? And such a breakup that would just kill off every remaining fan of the show? How am i supposed to keep watching when they destroyed everything I loved? When they destroyed all hope for him to be happy, when they destroy him as a person again (because this relapse, means his death certainly), when they weaken out the woman that is supposed to be the impersonation of a rock when it comes to strength? I can't deal with this... I can't.
I have nothing more to hope for. I lost my inspiration to create vids and fanart, I lost everything. It was ok (not even nice) while it lasted, but i can't keep doing this to myself anymore. I was way too invested to this couple and i ate shit. I feel betrayed by everyone. Enough is enough.
I just want to cry myself to oblivion... Why did i ever start watching this show? Why did i ever fucking hope?
ok, just shoot me....:(
i might edit this post later with more thoughts about what happened... My goodbye hurts too damn much to articulate it in so few words... I feel i still have plenty to say, i simply can't find the strength to either type, or think...
I don't blame Lisa here... I said i just felt betrayed because her enthousiasm always kept me at bay. I know she doesn't have a say in this crap and i blame Shore and the writers for this mess... I blame THEM for not giving them a real chance like they promised, i blame them for not trusting those two special characters to create the best on screen relationship tv had ever seen... I just want them to choke in their miserable filled minds and see what we are going through...
also, here is my similar post from 2 years ago.... i still can't believe what a waste those two wonderfully uncommon characters have been because of the incopetence of those idiots that want ot call themselves writers. I want Egan back. At least she knew how to give good reasons a meaning when a disaster was coming...
FLM... EVERYTHING I LOVED IS WASTED AND OVER...
PS: FUCKING GY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET US MOURN IN PEACE WITHOUT HAVING TO BEAR YOUR FUCKING MOCKING ONCE AGAIN??? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE WE EVER DONE TO YOU, YOU BITCH??? WHAT???? why should he be such a bastard, when he was my hero???
damn it, reality sucks... Life sucks, today...
I was traveling today... I crossed half my country and in the meantime i went through sunshine, snow, wind, rain and then back to sunshine... I spent many hours in that bus. But for the first time in my life, i didn't realize how the time passed... I haven't eaten all day and i was on the verge of vomiting at least 3 times, not because of a crappy road, but because i just felt sick only thinking about what i witnessed last night... That totally and completely unfair murder. Because, for me, yes, that was a murder.
Can someone give me a good reason as to why this happened??? It's a simple, one word question:WHY? Why did they have to break them up? Why did House have to go back to Vicodin? And for the effin love of God, WHY DO THEY NEED TO NEGATE EVERYTHING??????? Why, why and again WHY???
I feel betrayed by everyone involved with House. Everyone. I feel betrayed by Hugh, who didn't ever come out for once in these few months the dream lasted to fucking give a joint interview with his on-screen girlfriend. I feel betrayed by the only actress i admired the most as a human being and as an artist in my whole life: Lisa. She was always the Queen of Huddy (i still hate the word "Huddy" but, wtf, i don't even care anymore) and her opinion was the only one i trusted blindly. She was the one who first spoke of the beauty that "Joy" was, and it indeed exceeded all of my expectations. She was the one who cunningly warned us about the hallucination we would face in "Both Sides Now", so i was mentally prepared before the episode aired... She was the one who spoke of her "favourite Huddy scene" being in "Help Me", thus giving me hope back in s6, when i had lost almost all of it, and she was true. And when i saw her being so enthousiastic about "Bombshells" i decided to trust her again, with all my heart, and put aside whatever reasons i had to feel worried sick about it. But after that ending, i feel like she cheated on me... On all of us...
Help Me... God, seriously, help me. When i first saw that final scene last May, the first whole sentence i articulated was "This is the final episode of the show for me. I wish House just ended this way, this beautiful, sweet and happy way. I don't need to see anything else, because if i do, this beauty will someday fall apart." I can't believe that I was so damn right. Why the fucking fuck did i have to be right??? WHY? The only thing after that finale that i REALLY wanted to see, was the unaired s7 premiere "Thunder Roadtrip". All those photos and spoilers of awesomeness made me think it would be a great movielike episode to end the series in that happy tone and leave me with good memories of it... but nooooooooo.... Of course not...
I feel betrayed by the man that felt like an idol to me: Greg Yaitanes. The Greek director who worked with the people i always admired. The person who lives my dream. The person who once was polite, but then got davidshoritis and mindfuckitis and turned into a bitch towards his fans and the fans of his show. The person who has given life to the most beautiful stories and to the worst ones too... I know that what happened last night is not his fault, but i just can't help but wonder, how is it that a fellow so-called Huddy fan turns into such an SOB at times?? Why would he say "RIP Huddy" when he knows how much we are hurting?
And of course, i feel once again betrayed by Sara Hess, Liz Friedman, Katie Jacobs and the Lord of the Evil, David Shore. I just don't get it. 5 years and half a season with Stacy, 2 years of stupid crashes with Cameron, 3 years of a successful Chameron, 1 year of that awful Luddy,2 freaking years of idiotic gayish jokes with House and Wilson, but when it comes to the most important relationship in the history of the show, in the history of the show's hero, in his life and in his heart, his relationship with the woman he loved and needed the most, we only fucking get 15 episodes?? 15 episodes with no real kisses, with obstacles thrown here and there out of nowhere, just to create silly dramas, because otherwise the dynamic of the show "would be ruined" (seriously??? SERIOUSLY???) ??? And as if that was not enough, they threw in the trush one and a half year of House trying to stay clean, fighting for happiness, away from pills, away from misery, just making efforts to be a human being like all others, a human who wants love and someone on his side.. I just can't take it!!!
I was never really excited with Hess and Friedman's episodes after what happened in "Joy To The World". When they made Cuddy adopt Rachel, they weakened her. They changed her. The woman that ditched her boyfriend last night was not the Cuddy we all know, the Cuddy we were watching in the entire episode, the fighter. How could she give up on him?
"I know you're screwed up. I know you are always gonna be screwed up. But you are the most incredible man i know. You are always gonna be the most incredible man i have ever known." And knowing all that, I love you. And "it's gonna be great". THAT's what she said. How can she be so weak and leave him because he was so scared SHE would die, that he took vicodin ONCE????
ANd how about him?? WHY OH GOD WHY DID HE HAVE TO TAKE VICODIN FOR FUCK'S SAKES?????? How can he throw away all of his efforts like that??? "If I had to choose... I would choose you. I would choose being happy with you." Just a week earlier, he said those words. Where is their meaning now?? Thrown in the trush along with that freaking toothbrush? (don't even let me go there, seriously.) But when i can get his fear of pain and maybe, just MAYBE the reason why he took vicodin again in the first place, i can't understand how SHE could ditch him like that, when she knew who he was and fucking everything about what made him who he is, his weaknesses and his all?? HOW COULD SHE??
WHY HESS AND FRIENDMAN AND SHORE, WHY, FUCKING WHY??????????
When "Both Sides Now" aired, i was devastated. I cried for days, I didn't go to the university for one week and i forgot to eat. But when i rewatched it, i was able to see its brilliance and the message that it carried: House was so desperate to be happy and to earn Cuddy's heart, that when he thought he wouldn't, he cheated his own mind, his intellect, the one thing about himself he cared about the most, in order to create a reality where all those things happened. He gave up his freedom and the high of vicodin willingly so that he could fight for the life he wanted. That alone, was so huge and so filled with hope for the future, that kept me going even when during the whole of s6, hope was so far away from me that i couldn't even recognize its light.
But now... Now all hope is lost. They ripped out my heart and i can't even put it inside a chest, like Davy Jones. David Shore says it's definitely over and never meant to last anyway. His writers say that it even lasted longer than expected. Are you telling me that when in the beginning of the season they came out and said that they would give this relationship a REAL chance, they meant 15 episodes? And such a breakup that would just kill off every remaining fan of the show? How am i supposed to keep watching when they destroyed everything I loved? When they destroyed all hope for him to be happy, when they destroy him as a person again (because this relapse, means his death certainly), when they weaken out the woman that is supposed to be the impersonation of a rock when it comes to strength? I can't deal with this... I can't.
I have nothing more to hope for. I lost my inspiration to create vids and fanart, I lost everything. It was ok (not even nice) while it lasted, but i can't keep doing this to myself anymore. I was way too invested to this couple and i ate shit. I feel betrayed by everyone. Enough is enough.
I just want to cry myself to oblivion... Why did i ever start watching this show? Why did i ever fucking hope?
ok, just shoot me....:(
i might edit this post later with more thoughts about what happened... My goodbye hurts too damn much to articulate it in so few words... I feel i still have plenty to say, i simply can't find the strength to either type, or think...
I don't blame Lisa here... I said i just felt betrayed because her enthousiasm always kept me at bay. I know she doesn't have a say in this crap and i blame Shore and the writers for this mess... I blame THEM for not giving them a real chance like they promised, i blame them for not trusting those two special characters to create the best on screen relationship tv had ever seen... I just want them to choke in their miserable filled minds and see what we are going through...
also, here is my similar post from 2 years ago.... i still can't believe what a waste those two wonderfully uncommon characters have been because of the incopetence of those idiots that want ot call themselves writers. I want Egan back. At least she knew how to give good reasons a meaning when a disaster was coming...
FLM... EVERYTHING I LOVED IS WASTED AND OVER...
PS: FUCKING GY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET US MOURN IN PEACE WITHOUT HAVING TO BEAR YOUR FUCKING MOCKING ONCE AGAIN??? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE WE EVER DONE TO YOU, YOU BITCH??? WHAT???? why should he be such a bastard, when he was my hero???
damn it, reality sucks... Life sucks, today...