ugh
i wish i could forget the pain, and just block it all out ...last night i put on a fake smile to cover up what i really felt...i was forgetting pain, i was getting rid of it...but not for good...more of bottling it up ...and what not.....i dont ...know what to believe anymore....its all so blank and empty...today i'm going to put on a smile, and i dont care what ppl say...i'm getting rid of my pain and hurt...i'm forgetting it all...taking it away from me...but it hurts so much to do it, but its the only way i know how...and since i dont know what to think or believe anymore, then life just seems not worth living if the one i care so much about...doesnt even realize that she is so much to me...and somehow always happens to hurt me and bring me down...but thats not gonna stop me....cus i know...i've got to try to work very hard ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................doing this to myself and her hurts very much, but not worse than any other pain i've ever had.........well....i'm gonna go and finish up my cereal...then i'm gonna wear my fake smile and bottle everything up inside....................................................................bye