(no subject)
I am a mix of emotions right now. I am so afraid that the Peace Corps stuff won't work out. I want it so badly, and I'm not sure how I will handle it if it doesn't happen. What was previously excitement is now dread because I feel like it isn't going to happen. I have no real justification for this feeling, but I am panicked about it none the less.
I am living in the future. Every thought relates to what will be happening in July. I have lost my ability to be focus and enjoy the present, and in the mean time I have become incredibly boring. The only thing I can talk about is Africa. I thought I would spend these last two quarters spending as much time as possible with friends, but I find myself pulling away, so it will be easier when I leave. I need to stop this bad habit. These people have meant so much to me over the past three and a half years, and I can't let myself think I'll lose them over the next two. Our friendships are stronger than two years without much communication. I need to continue to invest in them what I have in the past, instead of weakening them. These are my last two quarters here in Athens, a town that has meant so much to me, and I struggle to enjoy them. I wonder if I was this way my senior year of high school.
I can't wait to see how things are different. I am going to learn so much. I recently saw this short film about Senegal and how much people work together. I want to learn how to rely on others like that. I want to learn about affection, authority, compassion, anger, sadness, unity, and love through another culture's eyes. I want to communicate about more than prices and world cup football in another tongue. I want to invest myself in youth and understand the different depictions of adolescence. I want to be bold and rely on myself and God in a way I never realized was possible.
I am living in the future. Every thought relates to what will be happening in July. I have lost my ability to be focus and enjoy the present, and in the mean time I have become incredibly boring. The only thing I can talk about is Africa. I thought I would spend these last two quarters spending as much time as possible with friends, but I find myself pulling away, so it will be easier when I leave. I need to stop this bad habit. These people have meant so much to me over the past three and a half years, and I can't let myself think I'll lose them over the next two. Our friendships are stronger than two years without much communication. I need to continue to invest in them what I have in the past, instead of weakening them. These are my last two quarters here in Athens, a town that has meant so much to me, and I struggle to enjoy them. I wonder if I was this way my senior year of high school.
I can't wait to see how things are different. I am going to learn so much. I recently saw this short film about Senegal and how much people work together. I want to learn how to rely on others like that. I want to learn about affection, authority, compassion, anger, sadness, unity, and love through another culture's eyes. I want to communicate about more than prices and world cup football in another tongue. I want to invest myself in youth and understand the different depictions of adolescence. I want to be bold and rely on myself and God in a way I never realized was possible.