fuck.
... Sick, angry, throwing on the ocean. Two ladies are separately planning their fates. embroiled in drama and duplicity they drive now for a time in stillness. on or none will be happy thins night. Quiet, solitude breaks to familiar adges, and famine is overcome. A wandering lust.... quelled by anger and bitter destruction of vows. A chase without capture ensues. running fear and loathing are tucked into obscurity. Darkness, all is quiet again for a time. Did a crying man shout at the river of her heart, or shrivel into white noise? two ladies.. separately planning contingencies. She see's her happiness, it will be one who is happy this night, one will suffer the day to end alone. on the morrow they will be two ladies.. separately planning. One or none will be happy.
2000
RB
Never say forever,
cause I know it isn't real.
It isn't something lasting.
It's what you think you feel.
so if you mean forever,
Just tell me that you'll try.
But never say forever,
because it makes me cry.
Author unknown, found on a wall in Hooper nebraska in an abandoned house. (1992)
Lithe
strong
weak
beautifull
terrible
he is
my hunger for knowledge
my thoughts of death
my soul reaching
my sight screaming for darkness
the desire burning through me
naked, touching my skin
pain crashing over me
the and and the beginning
he and I cannot really exist
it is criminal.
2001
RB
the glorious beauty of your presence astounds me, stark white and cruel, painfull in it's complexity, my dreams shattered in less time than it takes to blink my breath is common.
1999
RB
The devil blushes before you... souless bastard.
My soul screaming not to be decieved by the normalcy of social inevetability
my faith in man lost in a few unsaid words of comfort.
I listen for any sound.
All I can hear is the desperation of my own need.
futility
Agony is all I have to wrap myself in
It comes in waves as the dreams I held so close
slip from me like so many exhilations
familiar as an old pillow's scent, I lay my head down and accept.
1998
RB
you are the devil to haunt me so..
Why must you walk through my waking dreams
knowing
you can never be here
in the flesh
your touch
it burns
tearing my wishes apart
like the gossamer bonds
tearing my skin
1997
RB
so easily I tear down what matters most
you and I once so close
the us now given up the ghost
aching, dying , crying,
I sabbotage myself
in tears, I drown
morning the loss of you
my dearest love
known too late
i now wait breathlessly
to know my fate
2008
Jules
He's not here, and I fear
some untold trauma that has
if not recently been committed
then will of it's own sorrow punnish
the witness to man's
failure to see self.
2008
Jules
A pathetic list of crap about a man. A man who is not self aware.. One who is as he has always been, unworthy of me, yet completely able to compell me. One who is able to capture my attention when I do not want it. One who is always there. One who lives in a little box which I have chained up and locked away into my soul. One who has the ability, at any given time to make my life hell, were he to so chose. One who is immune, and indifferent to the struggling which he has unleashed whithin me. One who I was so arrogantly sure was gone from me. One who I let go. One who dared to love me so completely. One who I dared to love back, with just as much if not more gusto. One who has completed his revenge. One who even if not meant, has done at long last what he could never have done before. The one... you know which one. the one who you are never fully able to recover from. Yeah... that one. he's here in my mind, where I don't want him, and it pisses me off. Get out. You don't belong here. you cannot have whatever it is that you want from me. You have taken everything else from me, can I not also have existence? Can you not leave me long enough for me to sleep?
2000
RB
Never say forever,
cause I know it isn't real.
It isn't something lasting.
It's what you think you feel.
so if you mean forever,
Just tell me that you'll try.
But never say forever,
because it makes me cry.
Author unknown, found on a wall in Hooper nebraska in an abandoned house. (1992)
Lithe
strong
weak
beautifull
terrible
he is
my hunger for knowledge
my thoughts of death
my soul reaching
my sight screaming for darkness
the desire burning through me
naked, touching my skin
pain crashing over me
the and and the beginning
he and I cannot really exist
it is criminal.
2001
RB
the glorious beauty of your presence astounds me, stark white and cruel, painfull in it's complexity, my dreams shattered in less time than it takes to blink my breath is common.
1999
RB
The devil blushes before you... souless bastard.
My soul screaming not to be decieved by the normalcy of social inevetability
my faith in man lost in a few unsaid words of comfort.
I listen for any sound.
All I can hear is the desperation of my own need.
futility
Agony is all I have to wrap myself in
It comes in waves as the dreams I held so close
slip from me like so many exhilations
familiar as an old pillow's scent, I lay my head down and accept.
1998
RB
you are the devil to haunt me so..
Why must you walk through my waking dreams
knowing
you can never be here
in the flesh
your touch
it burns
tearing my wishes apart
like the gossamer bonds
tearing my skin
1997
RB
so easily I tear down what matters most
you and I once so close
the us now given up the ghost
aching, dying , crying,
I sabbotage myself
in tears, I drown
morning the loss of you
my dearest love
known too late
i now wait breathlessly
to know my fate
2008
Jules
He's not here, and I fear
some untold trauma that has
if not recently been committed
then will of it's own sorrow punnish
the witness to man's
failure to see self.
2008
Jules
A pathetic list of crap about a man. A man who is not self aware.. One who is as he has always been, unworthy of me, yet completely able to compell me. One who is able to capture my attention when I do not want it. One who is always there. One who lives in a little box which I have chained up and locked away into my soul. One who has the ability, at any given time to make my life hell, were he to so chose. One who is immune, and indifferent to the struggling which he has unleashed whithin me. One who I was so arrogantly sure was gone from me. One who I let go. One who dared to love me so completely. One who I dared to love back, with just as much if not more gusto. One who has completed his revenge. One who even if not meant, has done at long last what he could never have done before. The one... you know which one. the one who you are never fully able to recover from. Yeah... that one. he's here in my mind, where I don't want him, and it pisses me off. Get out. You don't belong here. you cannot have whatever it is that you want from me. You have taken everything else from me, can I not also have existence? Can you not leave me long enough for me to sleep?