2 September, 2017
Sorry about the lack of update, I'd make excuses, but they're boring. So let's get to what you're really here for.
Harry was watching his owl fly away when the phone rang. He laughed to himself. "That must be Ron, " he thought. "Hermione must have told him to use the phone."
He picked up the handset and was immediately blasted with a loud voice yelling "HELLO! CAN YOU HEAR ME? HELLO? IS THIS THING ON?"
"Ron. Ron. Ron. Ron. RON. RON!" He finally had to yell at him before he would be quiet. "You know Ron, you can talk normally and I can hear you just fine."
"Oh, yeah." Ron sounded sheepish. "Sorry, I forgot. I'm just not used to using this thing and-"
"Why are you using the phone instead of the floo anyway?"
"Hehe," Ron chuckled. "Hermione said that if I stay clean now we can get dirty together later toni-"
"OKAY." Harry exclaimed, feeling rather embarrassed. He really didn't want to know about the sex life of his best friends. "I suppose you've heard about Albus then?"
Ron exploded. Harry was sure that there was smoke coming out of his ears. "HARRY! YOUR SON IS IN SLYTHERIN! SHAME UPON OUR HOUSE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT GOES ON DOWN THERE IN THOSE DUNGEONS?"
Harry blanched. "Uh, no?"
"WELL... well, actually I don't know either. BUT I'M SURE IT'S HORRIBLE! Horrible twisted things that no decent human being should partake of." Ron blithered on while Harry's attention drifted. "You know he's going to come home at Christmas Holidays and ask why we don't do all the things his housemates parents do."
"Like what?" Harry sighed, not sure he wanted to know the answer.
"I don't know? Orgies under the full moon in a hay field?"
"Ron," Harry rubbed his temple, trying to stave off the beginnings of a headache of epic proportions. "I'm sure Slytherins don't do those kinds of things. You're being ridiculous."
"Harry," Ron said seriously. "He'll come back changed. Who knows what those Slytherin boys will do to him. Al's a good kid, but he's young and impressionable."
"Ron! You are overreacting. It's just Slytherin. It's not like he's going to come home with a shaved head, pierced nipples, wearing leather trousers and say 'Guess what dad, I'm gay and I like to take it up the arse!'"
"JUST SLYTHERIN? Do you know what you're saying Harry?"
Harry sighed again. "Yes Ron. I do know and yes, I'll deal with it. Now I'm going to bed. I suggest you do the same."
"But Harry!"
"Goodnight Ron." Harry said and he hung up the phone.
Watchers count: 234!
Harry was watching his owl fly away when the phone rang. He laughed to himself. "That must be Ron, " he thought. "Hermione must have told him to use the phone."
He picked up the handset and was immediately blasted with a loud voice yelling "HELLO! CAN YOU HEAR ME? HELLO? IS THIS THING ON?"
"Ron. Ron. Ron. Ron. RON. RON!" He finally had to yell at him before he would be quiet. "You know Ron, you can talk normally and I can hear you just fine."
"Oh, yeah." Ron sounded sheepish. "Sorry, I forgot. I'm just not used to using this thing and-"
"Why are you using the phone instead of the floo anyway?"
"Hehe," Ron chuckled. "Hermione said that if I stay clean now we can get dirty together later toni-"
"OKAY." Harry exclaimed, feeling rather embarrassed. He really didn't want to know about the sex life of his best friends. "I suppose you've heard about Albus then?"
Ron exploded. Harry was sure that there was smoke coming out of his ears. "HARRY! YOUR SON IS IN SLYTHERIN! SHAME UPON OUR HOUSE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT GOES ON DOWN THERE IN THOSE DUNGEONS?"
Harry blanched. "Uh, no?"
"WELL... well, actually I don't know either. BUT I'M SURE IT'S HORRIBLE! Horrible twisted things that no decent human being should partake of." Ron blithered on while Harry's attention drifted. "You know he's going to come home at Christmas Holidays and ask why we don't do all the things his housemates parents do."
"Like what?" Harry sighed, not sure he wanted to know the answer.
"I don't know? Orgies under the full moon in a hay field?"
"Ron," Harry rubbed his temple, trying to stave off the beginnings of a headache of epic proportions. "I'm sure Slytherins don't do those kinds of things. You're being ridiculous."
"Harry," Ron said seriously. "He'll come back changed. Who knows what those Slytherin boys will do to him. Al's a good kid, but he's young and impressionable."
"Ron! You are overreacting. It's just Slytherin. It's not like he's going to come home with a shaved head, pierced nipples, wearing leather trousers and say 'Guess what dad, I'm gay and I like to take it up the arse!'"
"JUST SLYTHERIN? Do you know what you're saying Harry?"
Harry sighed again. "Yes Ron. I do know and yes, I'll deal with it. Now I'm going to bed. I suggest you do the same."
"But Harry!"
"Goodnight Ron." Harry said and he hung up the phone.
Watchers count: 234!