A year in retrospect
So I had a great birthday!! I'm not gunna lie it really couldn't have turned out any better. I was a little wary if it being a Monday because everyone has to work and I felt like I was going to sit around the house watching TV all day and not really do anything. But I had a great time wave running with my mom we went to lunch and grandma and my mom’s friend Pam came and so I started drinking at like 1 in the afternoon. Then we went home and Jesse, my little, and Nicole came over. Bruce had to stay at work later. My grandma and aunt came too and when we got to the restaurant we were joined with about 20 to 25 more of my family members and family friends so it turned out to be a really nice meal.
I like that my birthday is at the beginning of July which is 6 months away from new years because every six months I get to reflect on my life. I can defiantly see being 22 as a growing experience more than 21 was. Looking back on being 21 I drank and partied more than I should. But I think I learned a lot about myself. The best thing about being 21 was that I really came into my own. I got a lot of self esteem and for the first time in my life I can look in the mirror and think that I'm beautiful and that I deserve good things because I am a smart, attractive, nice person and I won’t let anyone use me or bring me down like I had in the past. I think that I made a lot of stupid decisions and did some things that I’m not proud of but I came out of it a healthier wiser person and I feel good about where I am heading.
Jesse is one of the only loose strings in my life. I feel like in my last entry I made it seem like I don’t want to be with him. That’s not true. I do want to be with him and if he were staying here we would stay together and be very happy. But he is moving and we are truly going to stay friends and end on a good note. I don’t want to be in a long distance relationship and he knew that when and if he took this job that our relationship would end. So it’s ok. Something else I have learned this year is that I don’t need a man to be complete. I really enjoy having Jesse in my life but maybe his moving is just another transition into my new life. Into my maturity and becoming a professional person phase.
So I am...well I'm happy. I feel really good. I’m sad that Jesse is leaving. But I’m glad that we will still be able to be friends and that I really have some good opportunities ahead of me...